Ji-yong and Sungha Jung

It's still 15 minutes to 12 am. I want to tell my blogspot that right now I had terrible crush with these two's music, don't be judgmental, just because you don't like his rings, ear rings, or his blink blink shirt, or even his full make up face, eh, who I am to say that and why would I mind your preferences anyway. This is my personal taste right now, I like the genius guitar monster, Jung Sungha, I still love depapepe, but Jung Sungha is way too brilliant, every song he arranged became better than the original version. The other guy, the singer is Kwon Ji-yong, or G-Dragon or GD from Big Bang, I used to hate that group because I didn't like the way I thought they overdressed and they wore thick make up as guys, but I grew fond of them, especially GD, his music surprisingly caught my hearing. He has created a lot of beautiful Korean songs that made me googled the meaning because they're too beautiful to waste, 'That XX' is definitely a song of the year for me. 

It was a jackpot to have  Jung Sungha as Ji-yong's companion in singing this song live.

And this one is amazing as well. If I could wake up tomorrow with one ability, I wanted to have his guitar talent so I could play guitar beautifully.!

Ah I need to stop or I'll end up sleeping in the morning because I cant stop youtube-ing.

Goodnight world!

Attention Seekers Part 2

Ah, I can't believe that I need very long time to continue my previous story. Well, today, I finally got my official contract for my new status, Junior 2 Teacher, after the class observations, workshop, submitting lesson plans, etc, in the end I did quite well :p

About the messy mushroom class during the observation, I kept thinking about it, after that, I couldn't face my principal directly, I was afraid and had a feeling that she must have thought that I was incapable as a teacher. It affected my mood in the class, after that class, we still had several meetings before the project and progress tests, so every time I saw my students, it's not that I hate them, but as normal human I had a thought like, "ah.. I could have done better if only you had cooperated well that day". I acted normally but inside my heart, I felt worried. The result of the observation was still unknown but I presumed myself. My spirit eventually went down in handling that class. I was nervous of bad result possibility.

One day after that D-day, I came to that class wearing brand new shoes, they're brown almost red, and I could admit that they're my most girly shoes with even ribbons on them. My kids didn't say anything but they looked at mine obviously, their pride was just too high to ask whether I wore new shoes.

During the class activities, a kiddo came to me and asked question, but instead of normally standing in front of me, he stocked his plump body to my legs, since he wasn't doing it for whiny purpose, I let it be. While I was answering his question, he lost his balance and stepped on my shoes, and as soon as that happen, he swapped the ribbon on my right shoes with his big crocs sandals until the ribbon stocked out and fell on the floor, I was shocked, widened my eyes, looked at the crocodile that had eaten my clueless new shoes. I could have been angry, but then I controlled my self, ok I was sure he would apologize, I knew he's not a bad kid.

Surprisingly more shocked than me, the kiddo looked scared and he left me speechless with his excuse. Rather than saying sorry, he said senseless words, "Ms, is this your new shoe? that's whyyy, I actually want to tell you, don't buy ABAL-ABAL shoes, this is cheap but bad, look now it's broken, buy crocs like me, this is good shoes". Normally I would stop him and remind him about Indonesian word he said, "abal-abal", but that time, my head burned, this crocs monster, how could he say such things. I was thinking of a counter attack when he said another defended words, "your shoes are abal-abal ms, my MOM said good shoes are crocs...". After his last excuse, my head cooled down, I really wanted to meet his mum that time. I was angry to him, but I felt that his mum should take the blame for the not-sorry kiddo.  

After that, my spirit suppressed dramatically there. the next meeting, it was around three meetings left before we finished the level. I came to the class promising my self to forget all the traumatic things happened there.

As soon as I got in, several kids were busy writing and drawing, then, a chubby girl came to me and said, "Next level, you're still with us, right?", I just put on a smile. "I like you, This is for you from us, please keep this". I was curious but then sentimentally smiled looking at the note she gave me. Ah how I could ignore those kids. They made mistake by adding 'are' before love, but I didn't mind at all, and what's with 'from the children', so cheesy, hehe.

Well, about the observation result, I was kinda taken aback when the principal said good thing about my teaching procedures, "It must be hard on you, teaching kids, they don't calculate our feelings like adult, they do things recklessly, but I really like the way you coped with them, the way you personally handle them, bear in your mind that you have the patience as the key to teaching kids, keep it up....". I was blanked, the principal said all good things about the way I treated the students, in fact she criticized only the technical thing, "during the pair work, you made a student ask and the pair answer, it was actually good, but it would be much better if they didn't do it only that way, they need to exchange their role to add the exposure to the language....". So the feedback session was almost all about technical thing, mushroom class attitude that time didn't influence any of my credits. And, see now, I've pass another step, now I'm a Junior 2 teacher, the mushroom class is currently being taught by another teacher, let them experience, reflect, and learn. I'm thankful to them for giving me unexpected experience and good time.

Attention Seekers

Still remember the class with mushroom stories? once I read the story again, it looks like that's a perfect class where every teacher's plan will go smoothly. In fact, sometimes I feel like the kids (they're all about six or 7 and one is 8) start taking me easy, this recurring problem is not new at all for a lenient teacher like me, but I don't want to tell about it.

So this is a story about my kind of 'D-day', an important day. In our school, teachers are normally observed by the principal every several months, so this is my 9th observation day. The mushroom class, we call it Red 1, was chosen as the representative of my children class. I didn't feel nervous at all since that wasn't my first time, although we've got new material with completely new publisher books and multimedia, I had no worry. So I made my lesson plan well, activity by activity. I predicted things that could ruin my session until I finally thought that everything's perfect.

At the 'D-day', I told them that the principal would join them studying. Their response was just like "Oh, ohkay". I didn't have any intuition about unplanned things to happen.

The principal was finally sitting there when I started the class. And you know whaat? even since the first stage of teaching procedures, things were going unplanned.

I normally start by talking to them about their day, the food they ate, the lesson they studied at school, the cartoon they watched previous night, and even their plans after class, they have always been excited telling me everything, Gaby, the most talkative usually starts with "I'm not happy today, but I'm not angry too, just so so, I'm a lil bit tired, you know I have many course, and I clean my bedroom, my sister is lazy, never tidy the room, and today at school I have math test, it's easy, bla bla...". Marco ever replied me "Today I play basketball, I fight with P4, they're big, but I score one, tomorrow I play again at school but with P3, I think I will win again, bla bla...", even the quietest student, Priska always answers like, "I study PE today, weekend I go to church and then eat at the mall with my mum and dad and brother..". 

Normally they answer that way, but as soon as another new person (which was the principal) joined us, they turned to be aliens. This is the chronology of my first stage, talk to the students.

I started, "Hello everyone! so how's you day today? who's happy here? Are you all sad? no?" (I started brightly).

No one answered me, they put on very expensive faces telling me like, "want me to speak? pay in advance!". I tried really hard until several of them answered, "don't want to tell you about today". I was choked, but all was well, I went to the second stage, warming up. I had prepared a very exhilarating game with a lot of expectation in it. Normally since it was a new game, they will shout excitingly "I want to play, me first, me first, me first!", but while the principal was watching, they put on their "still expensive face" and just responded, "ms, I don't want to play", "it's boring ms, can I not play?", "can we play other game?", "ms, I want play hangman". Nothing answered as expected although in the end they played after my eyes almost popped out (I lie,hehe).

It was really funny once I thought about it again. Thank God, I'm not a newbie so I've learned to be prepared for those unplanned situations.

In the middle of my presentation, they could follow me in a quite normal way. I chose pair work as the practice, I divided them in to several pairs, usually, they never complain about anything during this activity. They have to follow all my instructions, but that day, they quite disappointed me because one of them didn't care about my instructions, and kept complaining as well, "ms, I think I know how to do this, we better bla.. bla.. so it is more interesting bla.. bla..", I don't mind my kids giving me suggestions, but at that time she talked a nonsense rule which wasn't correct at all but just created a chaotic situation. I got stiff because of that. I started getting more serious so they could follow me seriously too.

During the production stage, I encourage them to draw their room "this morning and now", basically they've just been intruduced to "past tense, was and were". Normally almost all of them are excited of drawing because it's fun, but that day, ane of the students said, "ms aaah, I don't want to draw", then, "ms, I can not draw", one who wanted to draw even said, "I want to draw the mountain and the beach", and there they went out of control. I never shout at my students, I don't believe in the "scary way" to educate. So I started shifting their attention from rebelling, I mumbled, "hm.. Amazing World of Gumball last episode wasn't interesting at all...", normally they will be offended and reply, "noooo, I like it!", "it was greaat not bad!" and other defensive answers, but at that day, they answer, "I don't watch it, I don't like gumball anymore, I like 'adventure time now'", I was like, argh! (but only in my heart, of course :D). I could see the principal couldn't hold her smile.

Finally after feeling like it's been a thousand years, the last fifteen minutes, the principal left. As soon as she left, all the aliens turned to be my normal kids! and started telling a lot of story and all. I was just sighing non-stop.

Ooops! this gonna be a very longe story, I'll make it in to two part because I'm running out of time to prepare going to my office, see you tonight, blogspot!

Fan Girl Moment

Yay! I was so happy to see @thekooksmusic tweeted that they were writing songs these days. I'm a fan of The Kooks since "naive" which I thought was Lily Allen's original song, back then I was so keen on her version that I walked around youtube to see her live, later I found out that she was just doing a cover for The Kooks'. Since then I've officially fallen in love with their music, the guitar sound (as usual) plus the English accent vocal of Luke Pritchard. 

When I like a musician, I'm going to go through several long sleepless night to find about them in the internet especially Youtube, thanks to super speedy internet connection in my room. Same case happens for The Kooks, I was so curious that I watched all of their interview in Youtube, but unfortunately, they're all Potterish British, I felt like I was watching some Weasleys. To be honest, I didn't really understand things they said that time. A bit frustrated  I trained my self by listening to their interview and songs constantly until now. Well, when we're used to something, we're getting better at it. I wasn't used to understanding English men talking, but now I'm used to listening to it. When I find their newest interview, I'll understand them better. This is good for me to enlarge the exposure of my English as well.

The Kooks released their latest album last year, "Junk of The Heart", I love all the songs there. Number one song from that album, for me, is "junk of the heart (happy)", a song that makes me wiggle :D

I asked a friend to listen to their songs, but my friend seemed quite disturbed by Luke's vocal. Well, I don't know, perhaps, it is me who's got worse sense at choosing good vocal because I like 'Our Lady Peace' vocalist, that is said to have weird vocal too. Honestly at first, I didn't enjoy Luke's vocal, but I've grown to be fond of it. 

ah! if I were a guitar master, I would definitely play all of their songs. In fact, I've been stuck only as a listener, never a musician :p 

Let me post a song from The Kooks to celebrate the occasion of them making new songs, haha ;)

old days.. (She Moves in Her own Way)

these days (Is It Me)

Mushroom Story

AH! Glad to be back here again.

Several days ago, I had a new cute experience with the kiddos. It was in Red 1 class, a class with 3 boys and 2 girls, their average age is 7yo. That day the target language is offering food, like "do you want some chocolate?", "I want some candies", "I don't want any soup", etc.

We started playing matching food cards with the jumbled name. Everyone was so excited. Then I went to the next slide, the slide that was fulled of mouthwatering food pictures. As a lead in, I ask them about those food, "who likes stew?", "who doesn't like curry?", etc. They all answered enthusiastically. Until it came to mushroom. The picture was very clear. Before I asked anything, they started speaking naturally, Priska said, "I think mushroom is healthy, not like french fries", Rahmat added, "noo salad is healthy, not mushroom", Duncan shouted, "mushroom is yucky, I don't like!", then Gaby stated new comment, "ms ms, my grandma cook me mushroom at home, I like it, it's so yummy!", the others started to get distracted and stated inconsistent things (which was cute), "ah gaby, my mom also cook me mushroom!" marco didn't want to lose. Duncan, who said that mushroom was yucky even changed his mind, "me too, I also eat mushroom at home!". I was just smiling while giving them chances to discuss about mushroom. when I was about to stop, marco stood up, "ms you know mushroom is healthy, but some danger ms". I was surprised and I thought marco talked about poisonous mushroom so I supported him, "yes, you can't eat poisonous mushroom, it's very dangerous!", duncan even added dramatically, "you eat it, then after 2 hours you will die". I thought marco would be happy, in fact, he rose his pointed finger and shaked it, "noooo ms, not the poison mushroom!", I was confused, "so what mushroom did you talk about earlier marco?". He put on a very serious face and explained, "MUSHROOM IN OUR FEET IS DANGEROUS MS! its not healthy."

I was blanked a moment, wondered if he was joking that time, but looking at his innocent and serious face, I can't help but laughing out loud, I mean, mushroom in our feet???? is it even in our topic??? :))

We ended up laughing together, it was still a mystery whether they laughed because the knew what I meant, or whether they just followed me.

the next slide was about spaghetti, the kiddos spoke alot about this food, every one wanted to be the one who-know-it-all about spaghetti. Gaby stood up, "ms, I learned at school, I know where spaghetti come from...". She put on a mysterious face, hoping that other friends will be curious. Unfortunately, what she got wasn't what she wanted, marco felt irritated and didn't want to lose either, "Ah gaby, just stop, I also know where spaghetti come from, you no tell us, I already know". Gaby got a little bit angry, "where?? tell me if you know!". Marco with flat face and serious face answered confidently  "of course I know SPAGHETTI IS FROM CARREFOUR, I and my mum buy there". Once again, I hoped he was joking, but looking at his face he was very serious, I started teary laugh, especially while looking at gaby's upset face. She sat directly, folded her hands on her chest then sighed, "aaaaah marcooo!". Marco gave a normal face and answered, "why?", which made gaby even angrier. 

That day, even until I got home, I couldn't stop smiling remembering that story, because I experienced it spontaneously, it was even funnier in my head. I love you kiddos! 

My Father and Me

The relationship between me and my father is difficult to define. So far that I know, we're very close because I've always done everything he asked me to do. I did well at school. I didn't make friends with those who my father thought would harm me. I've always stayed at home playing snake and ladder, monopoly, scrabble, or lego after school since he told me that our neighborhood environment wasn't good. I've always slept in the afternoon exactly from 2 until 4, I had never gone to school before I finished my breakfast. I had never had my lunch before I fixed my shoes and uniforms on the right place. I remember that I never intentionally disappointed him except when I skipped one of my afternoon sleeping time and escaped from the windows to play with my friends, I do regret it.

I know we're very close because I've always been there for him. In the morning, I would be the one who was ready to join my father's morning exercise, running. I remember it was always still dark, my sisters would still be covered by their thick blanket while me, ready to fight with the morning breeze. Sometimes I wonder, why did I want to do that? If I didn't want to, I could just say no, but the fact that I did it, maybe it was also part of my unconditional love toward my father.

He would run so fast and leave me behind then I would be scared of being alone in the dark so I would try my best to chase him. Sometimes my father would trick me, give me his heavy bag and said that he needed to fix his shoelaces. when the bag was in my hands, he would run again, and I'd hardly try to chase him with that heavy bag.

That was happened eight or ten years ago. As the time goes by, We barely have time to do those things. My father is loosening his strict rules toward me. During my high school  I could go wherever I wanted to go, I could get home late in the night. To get those kind of freedom crept me out too. I asked my mother why he always permitted me doing everything, and my mom's answer made me speechless, "your father knows how stubborn you are, even though he says, no, you won't listen, you'll still do things you like, so tactfully he always says, yes". I wonder if I was really that stubborn, but thanks father for putting your trust on me that time.

Nowadays, I barely talk to my father. He isn't a text man, neither do I. He's not so keen on talking on the phone, and I found it more difficult to build conversation on the phone with him, you know, things have changed, and when it happened, we're at different place and situation.

As he goes older, I know how I come to this level of stubbornness, it was inherited by him.

About two weeks ago, I went home. As usual, my father would gladly drive me to places I requested. We talked a lot along the way. My father isn't the kind of man who said sweet words to me, we often exchanged nag and ended up defensing ourselves. It was still the same fun.

Two weeks ago, I realized one thing, I need to get to know my father more and my father needs to get to know me more, because in several part, I'm not the same as I used to be. It's quite amusing, let me give you example. During lebaran, I was quite exhausted following my father here and there visiting thousands of relatives which meant I tied my hand on my father's hand, which also meant not ordinary since in my town, people at my age should go with friends, not with their father visiting all the oldies. I did enjoy knowing my relatives, but I felt too tired that time so I did protest him why he kept forcing me to follow him everywhere. His answer made me furious, "Is it a burden following me? why? wanna go with your friends? where are they? I don't see one these days, and its not like you have a boyfriend either to take you everywhere, so just follow me and memorize all your relatives". I was burned that time, I didn't want to just lose, so I answered, "why mentioning boyfriend? how am I going to have boyfriend if I always follow my father and my mother everywhere?". My father just laughed. I thought about it a lot, he's surely concerned about me. These days I barely meet my friends, they're busy with their own lives and I wont bother disturbing them. It brought me to tears though.

Another story that strengthened the fact that we both needs to get to know each other more, we've got so many relatives, some of them live quite far that we need to drive there. One day we planned to visit one of them. My father warmed up his old car, then my mother got in, my two sisters came afterward while I was still in my bedroom, fixing my messy liquid eyeliner, to be honest I'm not in to eyeliner, I'm still amateur. I wasn't keen on 'make up', but these days I learned about it. When I got home, people kept thinking that I was still students, and my mother kept encouraging me to change a bit, to take care of my 'womanish side' to look as what adult woman looks in my town. So that day, my father kept pressing the horn calling me out. I was really angry because even in a normal situation, I hardly put on eyeliner, in a hurry moment like that, I saw a picture of mountain on my eyelids, it was horrible. I took all of my 'make up' things, then got out of home with sully face, my father asked if I was asleep before, of course it was just a sarcastic way. I told him that I needed more time for my 'make up', he was just like giving less care and mumbled stuff like "why bother putting make up, what for, woman with make up or without make up is just the same". I was like argh! it's useless to answered, so I started erasing my eyeliner. Along the rocky road, I thought a lot, previous time, when I got home, I still didn't like putting 'make up' so I didn't need more time, but these time, I can't just leave home shabbily, I've got that sense of shame and I want to respect my self more.

Well, there were too many stories to be told here, stories I want to remember, I learned a lot last time I was home. When I kissed that old man before leaving home for another year, I talk to him in my heart, "dad, I might not be anyone now, but I'm sure that I'm not stubborn for no reason, I promise to understand you better in the future".

Ah, I write for this long, once I read this again, I miss my father more. I love him unconditionally.

Hello September!

Never be too dependent on someone because even your shadow leaves you when you're in the dark (overheard)

Hometown

I can't believe that its finally the 17th day of August! no, I'm not posting about independence day, but today is the day I'm going back to my hometown after 8 months. I can already smell home. these are pictures of the beauty of my hometown taken in my last holiday, pretty, aren't they? ;)

TADAIMA~

Waka Waka Dance (Re-Post)

I had ever been surprised by keisha, a 9yo kid, one day, she met me bfore class, “ms I need to talk to u after the class, this is really important” I gave her a “what’s wrong?” Face then she continued, “I can’t tell u now, please ok, I need ur time after the class, ok, give me yes ms”

I was nervous abt what she wanted to tell. When its time for class, I went to the 2nd floor. I met keisha around the stairs, she stopped me. “Ok I think I’ll just tell u now, can we talk here now? Pls listen to me, only 3 err no 2minutes, ok?” She gave me puppy eyes, then I nodded

I thought she wanted to tell me about something serious like the lesson or the way I’m teaching, but theeen she told me, “Ms can u give punishment to jordan and nalendra?” She asked. I shooked and asked back, “what for? They didn’t do anything wrong”. She became gloomy. “U know I like ‘waka waka dance’, bcos of that, they keep laughing at me, I mean what’s wrong with that dance” she mumbled. I hold my laugh.

“They keep laughin at it, it hurts my feeling, I want u to give them punishment, can u promise me that?” She shot me. I was a bit surprised. I actually wanted to laugh, not bcos she likes that ‘waka waka dance’ but bcos I thought she wanted to tell sumthin really critical. In the end I accepted to give punishment to jordan and nalendra, her classmates, but when I wanted to explain it in class, keisha was panic..

She stood up directly and said, “I don’t ask ms wida to give you punishment, really I don’t do it”. I can’t hold my laugh. I mean she was just too obviouuuus, because of that, the class became a bit chaotic, and in the end I didn’t give punishment to anyone. Well, kids are geuninely cute :))

One-Sided Love for Wisa

So this is what I foundlast month. I taught wisa, a 6yo tomboy girl. She surprised me sayin she’s got boyfriend, also an ILP student. She was so happy saying “ms my boyfriend kokoh patrick, ituh ms, wear glasses in YAC 6 class, I like kokoh patrick ms”. the class became noisy as she confessed. Although all her classmates laughed at her, wisa was really confident. I asked her, “is it really patrick? Why do you like him?” 

She replied, “yes ms kokoh patrick your student dulu, I liiiikeeee kokoh patrick”. She kept saying that while her friends laughed out loud. 

A fella, thaddeus even added, “wisaa, you love kokoh patrick, you get married, then you kiss like this muaaaah, hahaha”. He showed kissing expression that made me speechless.

Their expression were really cute, I mean a 6yo girl which is a green adventure student had a crush on a 12yo boy from young adult class, haha.. I felt a bit pity for her, well I had just finished teaching patrick. So far, he never mentioned about wisa, it must be a one-sided love :))

Adorable Albert

Yesterday, one of my kids classes learned about parts of the body. My students were all about 6 or 7yo. Everyone was so excited that I came up with "I spy" game. I gave them an example, while spying with my eyes and hand just like a detective, I shout, "I spy a part of the body, the first letter is W". The kids were noisy screaming "BINGO!", "BINGO!", "Waist!", "Wrist!".

Then they took turn shouting the "I spy". It went smoothly until Albert's turn, I tell you, he is ubercute kiddo with some part of his mouth toothless. Albert started, "I spy part of the body, the first letter is R". Then he smiled inviting his friends to answer. Unfortunately, no one knew. 

"What's the answer, Albert?", in the end, I asked him. He smiled again full of victory and shouted, "RICE!". I was surprised, everyone was too, then they started complaining to Albert. I told Albert that we're talking about parts of the body, not food.

Albert nodded and seemed cool, then he replied, "Rice also part of the body miss". "Are you sure?", I challenged him, then he answered with an answer that made me almost fall from my chair while laughing out loud, "Yes, miss, everyday I eat rice, now, the rice is here, in my stomach, so rice is part of my body now". I was like "...." for several second then laughed together with the other looking at Albert touching his belly tummy and smiling purely. I loovee Albert!

Polka Dot Hand

I was once tricked by my students. In my class, no matter how young the kids are, I force them to speak always english, I open jakarta Corner (a corner where they can speak a word in indonesian for maximum 5 minutes), I also apply the “tick” method, when a kid says indonesian word, I’ll give a “tick” on their hand using my marker, it also applies on me, wheh then asks me a word, I must explain slowly with more simple language, when they don’t get it and I have no choice but tell them the indonesian word, each of them may give me “tick” too. somehow, it works.

So this is a class with 5 kids. In that class speaking in indonesian is counted as a very big mistake, the same like killing people. Sumtimes when they forgot, they’ll speak in bahasa. I’ll be happy giving them a tick :D

That day I gave a tick to nia bcos she said “iya” and was caught by james that directly report to me. Rule is rule, if we want the rule to be well implemented, we have to be serious. After nia, several students got ticks too. Then while doing their writing task, I saw them discussing sumthing, I thought it was about the lesson, then they all came to me.

“Ms we want to ask u, we don’t know how to read this in english” they showed me the book. Its written “motorcycle”. Then I started reading. As I started reading “motor..”, james closed the “cycle” part with his palm, I stopped, confused for sum seconds until I heard shouting. They’re all shouting happily, “ms widaaaa speak bahasaaa, ms speak bahasaaa”. I realized, they tricked me to say ‘motor’ which is only bahasa for them! I actually wanted to defend myself but I couldn’t stand looking at their happy face, then I finally allowed them to give me ticks, that was really your lucky day, kids :)

polka dot hand 

Good Words Good Work

Several months ago I watched a drama, "secret garden", some of the dialogue there was still here, stuck in myhead, so I this morning, I browsed the internet and found them completely from here

“There are things that are thought of as fantasies merely because they’re far away. Starry bodies are like that. Just as it is with people who are too beautiful, they readily disappear – In the books that I’d read to find out what he’s really like, this was a passage that had long settled in my heart. It’s now that I realize it, how beautiful a person he is. And therefore, how far away he is from me. He’ll disappear someday, too, like people do when they’re too beautiful.” – Ra-Im

“The things you say are true. It’s all true. But, you fool, where in the world is there a woman who would foster a tender, happy love only to disappear like sea foam? No woman starts a love with a designated end.” – Ra Im

“Among the four seasons, I like winter the best. The face is cold and the body is hot. Even though you’re tired, you freeze when you stop walking. I like it when I have to walk and walk until my heart bursts. Because if you continue to walk, eventually you get on the top of the mountain.” – Ra Im

“Being unable to eat and sleep is the basic thing. Waking up in the middle of the night will become a daily routine. Because the one you love has turned into someone else, you also can’t whine to each other for the fear of being scolded by that person. So, you cry by yourself. But what hurts the most is that person doesn’t actually miss me like the way I do. It’s like that person has forgotten about me and is simply being happy alone. All you want to do is die, but you can’t die either… because you’re scared that you won’t see that person again.” – Seul

Story about A Sweet Student

He's Glenn, one of the sweetest student I've ever had. I like his attitude toward the lesson. He's eager to learn balanced with his spirit to play any games. He's keen on futsal and soccer. If I asked him about a soccer match on TV, he would be really excited to explain with detail. I know his fave footballer, Frank Lampard, he ever wore a T-Shirt with lampard picture on it. One day we played hang man, and it was about famous people, as I guessed, he made frank lampard. no one noticed that time. I waited until glenn felt upset as no one could guess then I shouted, frank lampard! He was really surprised and said things like, "ms how do you know? ah you cheating, you cheating ms, not fair". I was just laughing when he couldnt stop nagging.

the other day, we learned about illness, so while doing the presentation, I give them model sentences to ask and inquire about illness like, "what's wrong?", "what's the problem?", "what's the matter?", then even before I finished, glenn rose his hand, "ms if we want to ask about illness, why dont we just ask 'you sick what?' I think people will understand". I thought he was joking, but he didnt laugh. His face was flat that it made me laugh out loud, I mean "YOU SICK WHAT?" :))

One day we played "yes or no" game, a game when everyone asks you question, you must answer without "yes or no", so this game teaches us to use long answer, to speak more. One by one students in his class finally got tricked. Then glenn came to me, "ms it's now your turn, I really want to trick you" he said that with an excited face. "Glenn, I'm not supposed to play, we have a test, so lets just start the test" I answered him, but then he refused and took all my file in my table, "I take this, if you dont want to play, you'll never get this back" he gave me a threat. I smiled, "okay then, trick me". They started asking question, never ending question. Honestly, I didnt play serious that time, so after not more that 3 minutes, I got tricked by glenn. At first he was happy, but then, he showed his gloomy face, "ah ms you cheating, you did it on purpose, I know you could do better but you did it because you want the game ended". I was surprised he said that, well, I had been tricked anyway and it's not on purpose. I came to him, poke him and made him sure that he really tricked me, then we started the test.

The other day we played "truth or dare" game, everyone gave orders like "jump to the toilet", "do headstand", and others weird orders, but glenn's order was the most thrilling, it was "tickle ms wida". I almost got tickled by a student, ah glenn he's so funny.

Recently, I've got an illness that made me lose much weight and became very weak. It's been hard for me until I finally decided to get back to work. At the first week, I still look like a zombie, uberweak zombie that I couldnt speak more than 2 or 3 minutes. I couldnt stand up more than a minute and I need to drink every 3 minutes. It was my first coming back to glenn's class after missing for 2 and half week. When I entered the class, I tried to shout (though it was a very weak shouted) "Hi everyone, I do miss you, a lot", they murmured then reply "I dont miss you", I showed them sad face, "okay if you dont miss me, maybe I should skip the class for one month more", I walked to the door, then they suddenly became noisy, "dont go ms, yes we miss you, we miss you". I smiled and welcome them, suddenly glenn interrupted, "ms why are you walking like penguin? and why are you so thin now?". That question made all the class laughed. At first I thought he toy me, then looking at his flat face, I'm sure he wasnt. Then I explained them about my illness and about my condition that time, they all nodded. Then I started the warmer, it was several quiz about obligation (to review the previous lesson). I had 10 questions to guess. We've finally finished 8, so I told them, "class, I still have two more so be ready", everyone nodded but glenn, he suddenly came to me and pushed me to sit on my chair, I asked him, "hey hey what are you doing?", then he was like really worried answered, "ms you have tumor (I said two more before) you need to go to the hospital soon, please dont teach ms, just meet the doctor". While he was saying that, he showed a very serious face. Well for several second I cant think of anything, but then, I was bursting of laugh, I couldnt stop laughing. It was really tiring that I thought I would pass out. I suddenly felt short of breath and really exhausted. A student, william pointed to glenn and shout, "if ms wida faint, you'll go to prison". It made me laughed more, I felt supertired and ran out of energy. That was the funniest joke I've ever gotten, I said I have two more (question), but they changed it in to tumor the illness, awesome!.

When I finally could manage my body, we started the lesson, I did the presentation. Glenn kept interrupting, then followed by the others too, but that time, I wasnt angry at all, because glenn kept saying, "ms its already more that three minutes, dont stand, sit on your chair, take a rest first", then the others followed "ms you've already talked too long, please have a drink first", they took care of me. That's not the end, at a time, I told them that I wanted to go to the toilet, they nodded. What made me really touched, when I finished and open the door, glenn and all his classmate were all there, stood in front of the toilet. I was surprised, "why are you here?", then they answered, "because we're afraid that you will faint in the toilet". Ah those pure face. I hugged them back to the class. I was so touched by the way they treated me. They're kids yet they're really good at taking care of me. I love them, God, I do love them!

But, why did I take picture with glenn? it was because next level, we're going to separate. I had been with them for 2 levels so I'll be given new class. I'm so sad to leave those class with all the good memories we've shared. but well, I've got to move on. I'll keep them in my heart. I wish you all the best kiddos!

My Great Grandfather's Favorite Movie Star

Teaching is fun!. By teaching, I get surprises day after day. Just like this afternoon, I had a class with 5 kids. I didn't give any presentation since we'd have midterm test. When I came in to the class, I met 2 kids, clara and william. Then while waiting for the others, I decided to play 'spin the marker' combined with 'truth or dare', so I spinned the marker until it stopped, then someone who is pointed got a question to answer from each friend, if they couldn't answer, they would do everything their friends asked to. They started to think of difficult question. At first, their question was only like "who is your crush?" or "who is your father's name?", for kiddos those were kind of difficult to answer honestly. I chose to join the game because there were only 2 students. When we were playing at the early minutes, I never got pointed. after 5 minutes, other three students, kayleen, afi and glenn came and joined us. Unluckily, I got pointed, william was the first one excitedly gave me a question, I was shocked because of his veryyyy difficult question,

Will: "Ms, who was your great great grandfather's favorite movie star?"

Me: I hadn't even met my great grandfather in my real life, how was I supposed to know?. I tried some tricks but ended up failed so in the end, they won. I asked them what the would like me to do. Other surprises!, this was our conversation,

Will: "Ms, please show us your hair, I'm dying to see your hair"

Me: "are you joking? NO"

Will: "I'm not ms. I'm really curious about your hair, why do you wear a hat ms. are you bald?"

Me: "Yes, I've got no hair"

All: "You lieee"

Me: "Okay if you're dying to see my hair, please look carefully at selena gomez"

All: "Why?"

Me: "Because my hair looks really like her hair, haha"

All: "..." (Murmuring unclearly)

The kiddos didn't give up, they kept asking me to do weird things like "Ms. please crawl to the toilet with one foot", "Ms. please do headstand", "Ms. please lift a chair with only one of your feet", and many others unbelievable orders. In the end I was safe.

The marker was spinned again, that time william got pointed. Glenn gave him a very difficult question, unfortunately I forgot it :(. William failed too, then he had to do something for glenn, and glenn, shockingly gave a crazy order, a simple one but I had never imagined that one of my student would give this kind of order,

Glenn: "Tickle ms.wida"

I stood up as william tried to tickle me, for any sake, I hated it being tickled even since I was born, haha. He touched my arm, then I lock his hands,

Me: "Well, I think enough for the game, now everyone please go back to your seat, and we're ready for the test"

I gave an evil grin for them as soon as they were asking for more.

"Ms. spin the marker once again pleaseeee, I still want to play"

Well, I couldn't help it looking at their hopeful face, but warmer time was finished. While they're doing their task, I laughed thinking about what I've just experienced, kids are genuinely cute and unpredictably funny.

Whistle for The Choir

Happy Fun-Lentine's Day!

4th February was always ordinary for me, I had never celebrated it like holy day, until several days ago. In my office, most of my students are take valentine's day as special event of 'day to love'. I appreciated it. I could say that I enjoyed those valentine's day celebration because of many good things.

First, in my office, we gave free homemade chocolate to every student. I've got 6 classes and I finally knew how Santa Claus felt while distributing all Christmas gifts, I enjoyed looking at their happy face after receiving chocolate from me (of course not from me personally, but from my office).

Second, We also held a valentine's card competition, so all the class would compete to make the best valentine's card to get presents from our office. the card should be interesting, creative, and good in accuracy. I enjoyed waiting for my students doing it in our last 20minutes lesson time.

the kiddos were also full of spirit for the card

Then, We also divided a 'love card' for each of them, so they could write their love messages. They could write for their mum, dad, sisters, brothers, friends, or whoever. Later we display all the love message on the first floor near the corridor to enter t classrooms, everyone could see whether they got a message or not. This was fuuun, moreover I got several cards from my students, I'm touched. I also got several discount voucher gift for hair treatment in megamall pluit from a student who's working there :D

Well, these are most impressive cards that I've got, the first one is impressive because I know that william lied there saying that he couldnt live without me, he he, but I like the last part ;). The second card was from Tius, he's college student from Goldy's class. That day, Goldy went out from the class laughing because of Tius' card for me, his card is funny, I felt like jumping because of shocking. that big boy must have eaten wrong meals that day :)). The third class was from Felicia, a 6yo kid. I told her to send a card for her parents but then she refused and wrote this instead. It's definitely a lie, I dont teach her everyday but only once a week on saturday class, but still for 6yo kid to write that way, I was impressed. The last card was from Calvin, a high school boy. He saw Felicia's card and kept complaining like "ms. I know she lied, you'll never teach us everyday, she lied, she lied...", then He made the honest-card-he-thought, and I couldnt stop laughing of his childish nagging.

Finally, I thank God for this wonderful week full of love, they kept saying "happy valentine miss", and the kiddos kept saying "I love you miss". I'm so grateful for this full-of-love-week. I couldnt say this, but I think they already know, I love them too, more than they do.

Goodbye Andreas

I've just arrived from work, I usually feel so tired, but now I'm so happy that I have like a tons of spirit to type.

Today is one of my class, Talking English class 2 report book day. We normally don't study at this day. We could have free activity like playing games, going to karaoke, and even eating together. There were 4 students in my class, two pretty high school girls, first, fortu, a very kind girl that is preparing herself to enroll her study to Sydney and the second is evon, a cheerful girl that loves korea and looks definitely like korean, then two nice college boys, tius, a supertall boy with glasses that is a fan of gambling in casino and next, andreas, a little quiet student that likes to help her mother in her sparepart shop, they're all good kids (I'm sure of this). Andreas actually is studying in China, right now he is enjoying his 4 months holiday in Jakarta. He decided to join us learning English to spend that holiday. So sad that after only two terms, he is leaving to china soon, on 16th February.
Since today was the last day we were at the same class with andreas, we went eating together, tius drove us to a nice seafood restaurant around Pluit, it was "Sedap Malam". Those kids were really lovely, they kept asking me to choose everything, starting from the place to eat to even the menus. It was really happy moment, we shared stories, we told many jokes, we ate much mouthwatering food. Time flew fast, it's already 9, I needed to go back to office to take my bag and go home, so tius delivered us. Actually I wanted to be with them longer, but what to do, I couldn't, so it was our goodbye. I pray to god that things will be easier for andreas in china, I prayed that tius could study well in his college and never drive over 180kph (he told us that it ever happened -_-), I prayed that fortu could easily continue her study to sydney, and the last, I prayed that evon could have a way to study psychology as she's been dreaming of and have a boyfriend this year (as what she wishes).
Well, goodbye is always hard, even after only 1 month meeting. Actually I was a substitution teacher for that class, because the homeroom teacher there couldn't continue teaching. I 've taught them for less than 1 month, but I felt very comfortable around them. I'm so gonna miss 4 of us together kiddos :)

here we were!

let me share you some of the delicious food :9

Housewife=Babysitter

One day, as usual, me and my fellow teacher, debora were talking about our "today's classes" when I suddenly choked surprised. That day, she taught Red Class, a class for kids (around 6-7yo), about Job, she generally explained many kinds of jobs with a very simple english (what could we expect for 7yo kids to understand about occupation :D).
She started with easy one like "teacher is someone who teaches you in school or courses", "pilot is someone who drives an aeroplane", etc. Then she continued to some term that werent difficult to memorize but not easy to understand, like 'businessman', if we told them about 'business things', it would be useless, so we just said like "businessman is someone who is busy working in a company and wears tidy suit", one of the kid responded "miss, my father is businessman, he has got company", later we found out that his father is toys businessman, then debora continued to a new term, 'housewife', she started explaining, "housewife is someone who works at home, takes care the children and husband, like you and everything in your house...", a kid suddenly responded excitedly, "um, I know.. I know.. so housewife is like my babysitter..."
My friend, debora, was like about to laugh listening to that, but maybe when she saw the kid with a very bright smile thinking that he had given a really smart answer, my friend was touched. Later she added some explanation that housewife is from 'wife' but still the kids thought that housewife is babysitter because they had experienced all the things babysitter did and its exactly the same with explanation about housewife, and a bit pitiful that they couldnt think that housewife is actually 'mother' since they didnt feel that way (and most of their mother worked so they'e not housewife).
Well, later I found out most of mothers nowadays tend to give their children to a baby sitter, some of them could manage everything so well that mother+babysitter become a good combo, and the kid usually grows up done, but some others are too busy so they give their children up to the baby sitter. when they send their kids to a course, they tend to expect too much without noticing the kids development, one dayone of the teacher got a call from a mum, she was a bit upset when she found out that her kid couldnt write "three" properly. The kid had been in ILP for about 7month, its the seventh month, and her mum suddenly appear on the phone. The teacher explained, "We're very sorry for that maam, but thats normal for kid to forget the spelling easilysince they're just 6yo, even in bahasa they tend to make mistakes in writing, about three, although she couldnt spell properly, I'm sure she knows the meaning, for kids we focused more in memorizing the vocabularies, but of course every meeting we practice writing too. Your kid, she's quite good with her vocabulary bank." The mother was like "but my kid has been there for seven month!" well, the kids came with a very weak english and only got about one hour two meetings a week, then the mother expected her to be able to speak like native, impossible. "maam, its useless if you think that studying here is enough, kids memorizing easily, but forgetting easily too, that's why they need to repeat again at home, did you help her all this way?" the teacher add the explanation and the mother answered "well, I already ask the babysitter to do all of that, to help her, I have no time to help her in her study...",
Then, case closed! Her babysitter plus driver always came with her to the course, but they didnt even finish their high school, so how come the mother expect them to help her in studying english. That time I was a bit mad listening to that phone conversation story. We invited the parent to come on report book day once in two month to talk about the kid, but what we met mostly babysitters or drivers, yet the mother's complaining while knowing nothing about the kids progress, tsk...
Those were just some experiences for us as teacher r, thanks to them, I learned a lot :)

Happy (?) Birthday, You!

I have a song that never fails to make me cry.
Winter Child by Suzy



I always wanted to give this song to someone special like you. I can always feel your existence. You taught me many things. You've shown me how precious life is.
Since yesterday, January 23rd is the day when you were born, please consider this as a birthday present from your me.
It has been 9 years, time flies. No one talked about yesterday, I'm sure it's not that easy to forget so I think everyone was just trying to have the feeling of "moving on".
Many things have changed. I hope you're watching us there. Don't worry about things here, I've been in many bad situation but in fact I survive until now. Just hang on there until we meet again.
Well, you're now 9 years old, I wonder how big you are (although I'm not sure people grow up there). I don't know how you might think about me, but I'm doing my best right now, I'm going to protect things that I know you wish you could protect too.
Dear, I'm still wondering, should I give you a happy birthday?
I didn't know was that a happy birthday or not, but I feel happy because at least I have you. Whatever happened 9 years ago, I'm happy you were born, I'm happy that you're my brother.

About Ella

When I first taught last year, I did an observation to a class for 6-7yo kids, there were 4 students, 2 girls and 2 boys. One of the girl was Ella, the principal and the teacher there said that she was 'different', she almost never spoke anything in class. That time when I came to that class, she was even making weird acts. She kept sitting on the floor under her desk. Her room's teacher had already asked her to sit properly but it was useless, she had no response. When other students played game, she was silent persistently in her position. She didn't make messy face, she smiled, but she just didn't care about those things. Later during the observation evaluation with the principal, I was explained that students like Ella did exist. She's eager to learn but she had her own way. Well, if that's the case, I felt relief.
Some days of observation had passed. One day, I was given a chance to give Ella a make up lesson, a lesson for student that miss a class. We were sitting quietly in Bristol (name of the room) when I started my presentation about material that she missed. She was good that time. She paid attention to me. When I asked her to do the practices, she just nodded her head and did it. That lesson went well, but I just had a feeling "this is not right". A kid should talk much at her age. I asked her some question like things she like, but as expected, no response. I tried other questions but they didn't work either. I almost gave up until I saw her bag, it was tinker bell patterned. I pointed at it and said "I know that pretty fairy, it is tink", she smiled brightly and nodded her head then she mumbled something. I asked, "do you watch the cartoon? it is good", I could see that she became interested as she said "yes" directly.
I was having butterfly in my stomach, I wanted to scream, "I got youu kid!", but then I laughed realizing that I didn't even play any games with her from the start. During the practice, she needed her eraser, she didn't have it in her pencil case, "my eraser is in my x (mentioned name of another english course) bag downstairs", she explained. I was a bit confused, but I told her to stay there, then I went downstairs to the receptionist table, she said, "miss, ini tas x-nya ella miss, dia ambil les bahasa inggris dua, di sini satu sama di x satu, tadi dia dari jam 1 sampe jam 3 di x, langsung nyambung di sini". I was shocked. Ella? a 6yo kid took 2 english courses, I thought it was too much. I pitied kids these days.
After finishing workbook, I asked her about plan for the upcoming weekend (saturday is the next day after that day), she whispered telling me, "I can not go tomorrow, I have clay course from morning to afternoon", I responded spontaneously, "hey! tomorrow's saturday", she whispered quieter, "yes, but I have class, I can not go there from sunday to friday, I have other courses too". I was surprised, she was just 6yo and she looked busier than 23yo someone like me, I knew that after she mentioned many courses she took. "is that fun, your clay class?", I asked her. "yes, I already make two, I have mouse and duck, I want to bring here but can not...". She mumbled more, I was touched, not only because of her story but also because it was the first time I saw her speaking like other kid, although it was more like mumbling and whispering, I would like to scream, "I hear you", but I knew it would scare her so I decided to put my best smile and tried to give my best responses. She told me many things, "I am moving school next month", I became curious, "why? are you moving home too?", she didn't answer me, she took her book, write a school name next to another school name, then she wrote some explanation. I could hardly understood that it was like"no, mommy says my school now is not good, it is international school but still not good, my new school is better..." She continued telling things by writing things that turned out to be hard to understand by my old school mind, I did think that kids, they needed time to play too, why didn't we just let them develop in easy way. I fell in love with her that day, no matter how different she was.
After some days, I had a chance to teach her class, that time, while preparing the warmer session, I prayed to God that she would join. I hold her little hand and invite her. She stood with her friends full of doubt. I looked at her, wished that she could read my mind "you'll be okay kid!". I was fully happy when she could say the game password, "bingo!", although it was with a very low voice, I could hear her it was really satisfying.
Well, I could say that Ella was the first student that impressed me there. It could be true that there are many Ellas around, but what I think, maybe, if she could, she would like to say this (I thought of this at that time):
"I know I'm quiet student, I know I'm different than others, I know I don't talk much and sometimes I act weird, but instead of leaving me in my own world, PLEASE PUT MORE EFFORT IN ME..."
Since then I promise myself, I won't ignore any Ella, I'm going to do my best try for silent students like Ella, no matter how long it takes.

Being Lucky

(End of year event 2011 and new year event 2012)

"Someone who could figure out his/her passion is lucky"
(A quote from teh saphy)

I've been putting a lot of interest in English even since I first learned it in Elementary School. Then when I grew up, I found out that I really like the way one of my english teacher taught me. Later I was obsessed to be a teacher. It took a long way. I couldnt imagine that I still had chance to be someone I've always wanted.

When I graduated from university, I applied to some companies, the place where I should be. To be honest, I was afraid. I felt no confidence. I thought that I didnt have anything to give to a company, I couldnt even give my passion there. I didnt think that I was capable enough and most important, I didnt wanna end up there, a place where I didnt think I belong to.

Talking about passion, I thought I found where mine is. When I was in high school, I taught english for an english course, it was fun, I felt that as my passion when I felt that coming there then teaching was so much more important than the payment that I got that time.

When I was in University, I had another chances, teaching in a remote area and also teaching in my university. There was much sensation. I loved it, being in front of the class, sharing things I know earlier than the other.

A lmost a year ago, I finished my study in university when I was still wondering what should I do. I did applied to several international school (since I wasnt graduated from educational major, formal school would definitely refuse me) but I got dumped during the pedagogic test, it's like a test whether I'm mentally ready to be a teacher or not, but in fact, the test was all about teaching theory that I didnt know. In the end I couldnt join any school.

At the end of May 2011, a place where I can teach called me, and I've been being hired by them since then. Its International Language Program (ILP) Pluit. Simply said its an english course. I wasnt sure at the first time because english course that I knew is a place where teacher teaches grammar, and kind of boring, but since that's the opportunity to teach, I accepted that. First month, I did some observations in senior teachers' classes. I was trained alone, could you imagine, one day sitting alone in a room, watching teaching procedures CDs of ILP, then reading thick handouts about steps and stages of teaching in ILP, I was like, "WOW! this is serious!". I also did tandem teaching with my friend that was also newly hired there. I was a bit shocked, The students there were not the same like other students I've ever taught. They're special, the're demanding, mostly selfish, and not easy to handle (but it's in a good way). I was challenged. I couldnt wait for my own classes. During July 2011, I had been being trained in ILP center, yes, that was new knowledge for me, although it's franchise, but it's centered and all the material are controlled by one center, all teachers should first get fully training for 1 month because it has got own material and different teaching procedures, I cant just teach with my shabby methods, I have to follow the procedures and even steps and stages from the center. Well, that was great, they trained me not only to be a good english teacher but also a good teacher. I was also taught to teach not only material but also attitude for students.

Now here I am, Im a teacher of an english course, I can make my own living, and I'm happy. Everyday I create a lesson plan based on our material. For a teacher, lesson plan is crucial thing, its our masterpiece, teaching without it is like walking without any direction (thats what my trainer said). After finishing my lesson plan, I do a 'guardian angeling', a process where I consult my lesson plan to the principal that will check the steps and stages, correct my mistake and add some ideas to make it better. After that I will prepare all teaching aids for visual presentation in the class, then I'm ready to teach. Day after day, I've got many surprises, to tell you the truth, I've got desperate moments too, but the more it occurs, the more it makes me stronger to hang on, I've met many kinds of students, I've learned a lot from them, I can say that I'm getting better. I'm happy for finally standing in my own choice and fully supported by my father, mother, and sisters.

Back to my quote on the first part of this post, thanks God, I am lucky.