Jenny's Pride

Not only I miss the kids, but I also want to meet the teenagers even more. I once had a story with Jenny, a 13 to 14 yo girl. She was SWAG! Well I don’t really know the definition of SWAG but somehow she fitted that term. Jenny came from a very wealthy family, but from what I heard, she was not in a good term with her mom, which was typical problem for my students there.

Jenny really loved Lady Gaga. She could spend a whole day talking about how great Gaga was. She said she loved coming to my class because she hated coming home.

Jenny was always lazy when it came to studying. She would always showed her signature remark “Aaah ms, let’s just talk, okay, let’s just share story, okay…”. My challenge was how to balance her story time and the lesson, which was my, no, our priority.

I grew fond of her. She told me that her mom kept making her do things she hated. She wanted to learn guitar, but she had to take a piano lesson because he mom thought that guitar would ruin her nails. She loved futsal and soccer, yet her mom made her join a swimming club because swimming was so much more girly. But it was normal. Teenagers (from what I learn) were in the phase where they tend to rebel rather than negotiate. When they’re older, they will learn how to get what they want with negotiation and without confrontation.

Several terms had passed when I finally had to leave her class. My principal said that it was not healthy anymore. For her, I was too lenient on the kids and it could spoil them. After that, I got another class as the substitute and Jenny got a new teacher. A month and two, I kept getting message from her telling me to come back. She said she would study harder and stop playing around. What could I do… after what she called a nice way to ask for me back, she threatened to quit. I tried to assure her we could still talk outside the class. Glad she hung on.

The time when she had her school group holiday to Bali, she bought me a T-Shirt saying “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you better stuff, FYI I didn’t even buy anything for my mom”. 

Well, I got it. I felt I was important for her.

One day, Jenny’s teacher came so angry. Her face was all red. In teacher’s room, she said Jenny was way too hard to handle. “How dare she call me dog? How impolite and look very uneducated!”. We consoled the teacher that day. It must be hard on her. Being called names by students (especially not kids, must be hurtful).

Well to cut the story short, it was probably the last time Jenny came.  I never saw her after that, so I decided to contact her. I asked her what happened; she replied and made me speechless. “You know I love Gaga, you know how hard I persuaded my mom to let me buy the ticket to her Jakarta concert, you know how happy I was when my mom gave up and said yes, but when Gaga canceled her concert, I told Ms. X (the teacher in her class), you know what she said? She laughed loudly at me, pointing her pointed finger saying how poor I was. It hurt me a lot; she didn’t know how bad I felt because I couldn’t see Gaga after all the effort I did.”

It was like I was slapped on the face that day. No matter how I hate some cheesy actors, I never stated it in front of students who liked them. 

You might think that Jenny was overacting that time, but for me, no. teenagers are like that. They are very vulnerable. When you insult the thing they like, it feels like you and the world are against her. Their pride is important and they don’t need you to love the thing they love. I felt her.

I Miss Maxi

Although I’m not teaching anymore. There were moments I want to remember, I want to treasure as it is a very happy or sad memory. A month or two after quitting, receptionist at the place I used to work texted me, telling that one of the kid’s moms, Maxi’s mom, asked for my number. I was surprised because I have never personally talked to her. I only met Maxi in the last 2 months of my teaching. I told her I didn’t mind giving my number.

Maxi was almost 5yo that time. He was still in kindergarten. When he first came, his mom told me he hates his previous English class because it was too noisy and they played too much in class. I was amazed by such a remark from a 5yo kid. I found out that Maxi was brilliant; he spoke well for a toddler and a non-native speaker.

Maxi was way too perfect as a kid. He was clean, he was tidy, he was nice, he was smart, and he has no flaw for a kid like him. He used to have problem making friends before he came. In my class, I was trained to deal with such kid; I tried my best approaching him since he first looked like he didn’t believe me. It didn’t work out well, but I believe in process and I understood that time worked better.

One day while the kids were doing written tasks, I hummed a song unconsciously. I actually had this bad habit of humming while teaching. I hummed some of The Scripts’ songs. Suddenly, Maxi stood up and continued singing the song I sang. We ended up singing “the man who can’t be moved” together. When we finished, he laughed widely that I also wanted to laugh looking at his smiley eyes and his shoulder shaking because maybe he thought that it was ridiculous we sang that song together. Maxi looked so cute that day. He said that he really loved that song. Since then he got a lot closer to me and he opened up more to other friends. His mom also stopped standing in front of the classroom door (she did stand there because Maxi didn’t want to be in class unless she did).

A week after the call from the receptionist, I visited my previous working place. She asked me whether Maxi’s mom had contacted. I didn’t think I get any messages. I asked her what happened. Well, it turned out that after I quilted, Maxi kept asking for me, “where’s ms wida? Why she is not coming? I want ms wida, can she come? Why not? I miss ms wida, where’s ms wida?...” there the questions goes back and forth. I felt like crying for that. From Maxi's mom, I heard that Maxi had changed a lot since he came to my class. after lessons, on their way back home, he would talk a lot about me to his mom. At home, he would tell every thing, what I told him, how we played, what we learned, from A to Z. Coming to our class was always exciting for him. This made me feel relieved and sad at the same time. relieved for we both did well, sad for the fact that I wouldn't know when I would meet him again.

Maxi was one of many adorable kids I met during my teaching career.  Now that I look back, those times with the kids were very precious. Kids are honest, kids are pure. They have no hatred that no matter how annoying they gets, I can never be mad at them.

Ah, what I am blabbering about. I might just MISS Maxi and other Maxis too much.

I don't want to get married!

Well, this is not about me, I want to tell about a kid's cuteness. So here he is, an 8 yo cool kid named Vixing. He likes anything boys like. He can't stand cuteness while in fact he is so cute.

One day he and a younger girl called erin came early. They stood up next to me who was busy setting the multimedia. He stood too close that I couldn't connect the listening cable, I looked at erin then she poked his shoulder signaling him to move further. He felt offended and frowned. "You angry just because I poke you?", erin asked him. "Yes! Why you poke me, I don't want you touch me because you are a girl, I hate girls, I hate GIRLS!!!", he even raised his voice at the last word. Erin sat down pouted.

I bowed at vixing, smiling at him, "wow, I've just heard that you hated girls, whyyy? Girls are cute", I teased him. He frowned more, "girls are noisy, they are noisy, they are not fun, thats why I don't want get married later, I will neveeeeeer live with a girl in future, I will live alone!", he crossed his arms.

I just nodded and asked them to sit. An hour had passed when we began to do writing exercise, being a smart student he is, he finished earlier. He started wandering around having nothing else to do until he finally came to me. I was busy checking his task so I ignored his presence. He tried to gain attention by taking my pencil case, I was still, he took one of my marker then drew gumball and darwin on the whiteboard, his others friend chuckled but I remained still with his book. He looked upset, so he came closer to me and poked my shoulder. I turn to look at him, then I turned away purposely. He started getting furious, he poked me twice, then he tried to tickle me. I stood up laughing, "why are you disturbing mee?", I hid my smile. "Why you ignore meee? You hate me?", he answered me with a question.
I went back to my seat and coolly replied, "I don't, but you said you hated girls because they are noisy, so I thought you hate me too, I'm also girl and I'm noisy", I tried hard to be serious.
His eyes rounded and he blurted, "of course I don't hate you, I hate other girls, I hate erin I hate girls in my school, I hatee my sister at home, they annoying but you not".
I grinned widely so he slightly regretted what he told me before.
"Oh really? If you don't hate me and I'm not annoying then it means you like mee, oh that was touchyyy", I wiped my imaginary tears while other kids laughed. Vixing, being a cool kid with a very high pride he is, stood up and tried to explain, "noooo, I don't say I like you", "so you hate me?" I stopped him from talking. "Noo, okay, I don't hate you, but I don't like you too". I put on sad face, "class, vixing doesn't like mee, he hates girls". Other kids started to comfort me, "I don't hate you ms", "I like you ms", and so on. Vixing felt bad and he raked his hair in frustation, "fineee, okay, I don't hate you, I don't hate all girls, some girls are not noisy, but not all, you are not, okay..."
I tapped his head, "nah that's better to say, what about your mom? do you hate her too because she's a girl?" I slightly blinked at him.
He was surprised at my question and directly answered, "what? Of course I love my mom the most although she is a girl, my mom is the best girl, but my sister is not, I still hate her because she always take my toys, she plays my ipad, she throw my legos, and she always shout to me ask me to do this and that, I hateeee herrrrrr!. He shook his head as other kids who had finished with their tasks started comparing how they hated their their sisters and brothers too. I gave them time to share and let them be for I knew no matter how bad their assumption of their siblings, I believed that they wouldn't end up as enemies.
Well they reminded me of my childhood, I used to hate my sister and we used to fight alot, now we still fight but never once I hate my sister again.
There's only one relationship lasts our entire life, "family", no matter how much we hurt each other, we would end up embracing each other again.

When I'm Bigger, You're Much Older, Ms.

Still related with my holiday, the kids were always excited every time I told them about my holiday in Vietnam, not only that actually, whenever I went to a new place, I ate at a new restaurant, I met a new person, they would like to know about them all. It must have been amazing for them to know that I had experienced a lot of things. Yup, being adult seems so promising for the kids.

Kid: Ms, I envy you a lot. You can go anywhere you want. If me, my mom I think will not give permission.

Me: That's normal, when I was at your age, my mom did the same. Don't worry, when you're bigger, you can travel by yourself

Kid: Impossible, you don't know my mom, last time I want arung jeram when in Bali, my mom angry, so how come I travel by myself???

Me: long waaay to go, just wait  ok.

Kid: can I have friends for traveling like you and your friends later?

Me: Sure, you will do.

kid: But my friends at school are lame, they don't like traveling

Me: Maybe not yet now, later you will find some, or when you're bigger, contact me, lets travel together, ok.

Kid: ahhhh how comeee, ms, when I bigger, you must be older, if we traveling together, then I will take care of you, no fuuunnnnn. *pout*

As usual I smirked and laughed at her silly thought :))

I Am Rich

I don't know when this started or neither I know what I've done wrong that my kids think that I'm a superloaded young lady. One day I was shot with a weird question. I knew it was going nowhere so I just answered blindly without thinking. I truthfully didn't want to talk about it longer.

Kid: Ms, you are rich ya?

Me: Ah, no, I'm not.

Kid: Lie! why do you think you are not rich?

Me: Well, look at me now, I'm here teaching you, working, earning money, If I'm rich, I will just spend my day freely, traveling around the world, in fact, I can't do that so I'm not rich now.

I thought the kid would stop asking, but, to my surprise, she shot me a death glare instead.

Kid: What? I don't believe it, that's stupid idea! If you are rich, don't stop working, if you stop working, later you kehabisan money, you must be peminta-minta, you can't be like that ms!

The kid was fuming because of my blind answer, she even mixed English and Indonesian without asking. I patted her back and just nodded signaling an 'ok, get it'. Her parent must have thought her well :) 

After some time, I finally found out what made the kids think that I was rich. It was because of my holiday to Vietnam several months ago. It was a big deal for them since I didn't join any tour (while they were always going with tour), they thought I was amazing since I went to Vietnam, a country which they rarely heard anyone visited. They have been to Japan, Korea, New Zealand, Aussie and many other countries, but not Vietnam. In their mind, Vietnam might be beyond their reach so they thought I was pretty awesome going there by my own effort.

Kid: you must be very rich ya because you went to Vietnam

Me: You don't have any idea how long I had saved money before I went there and it's not expensive to go to Vietnam.
Kid: Look you have galaxy tab and blackberry
Me: You have Ipad which costs twice my galaxy tab, and blackberry which also costs twice my very old blackberry and what more, you have your ipod which costs maybe ten times my mp3 player by the way.

kid: But still, you went to Vietnam! I only went to Singapore Singapore Singapore, boring!

Me: Well, I guess she's the richest here then (I pointed at another kid in the class). She has been to almost all European countries, She has been to Japan, Korea, China, Macau, Hongkong, Brunei, ahhh, she has been to countless country.

The other kid: What? me? I'm not rich ms, my parents also not rich because we never go to Bandung, my friends all often go to Bandung but my family not, so we are not rich.

Ohkay! I choked a laugh. I guess I'm really the richest since I went to Bandung more often than them :)))

My Mom is So Generous

One day, a 9 year old kid came to my class pouting. I smiled at her asking what was wrong. She murmured then muttered when I widened my eyes giving her a whats-wrong-look. "My mom is so generous", she said, still pouting. "That's not a problem then." I replied simply. She continued whining, "You don't understand, I don't likee it ms...". "Why not? don't you get things you want easily since your mom is generous?", I asked back, couldn't understand her.

She then grumbled, "That's exactly the problem! she's only generous to herself, never once she bought me toys I want, she only buy her make up make up make up, bag bag bag, ahhhh!". I smiled looking at her frustrated look and laughed together with another kid's comment, "Not only your mom, my parents too only generous to them, but stingy to me!". Then they started comparing whose parents are more stingy, and no one wanted to lose, each of them thought that their parents are the best penny pincher, what? is that even an achievement? :)) 

If I could, would I?

Another thing I love about kids is what they could come up with, they would surprise me with different genuine thought each time we meet. This is one of dozen stories I've witnessed.

One day we talked about imaginary situation, about dream for the future.

In the presentation, a kid was asked, "If you could be anyone, would you be a king?". 

My kids are around 8 or 9, I expected they all wanted to be a king, well for kids, it should have been fun. 

Out of my expectation, a young girl, Kekei, answered with a shocked face, "What? a king? no way and never! its so lame being a king, you only sit, order here, order there, lamee and I would not." It led me to small laugh.

The next question was, "If you had a chance, would you have the immortality?". This question surely would brought vary responses from the kids, I thought, but again, I was surprised by another young girl, Jojos, she confidently answered, "No, I don't want, I don't want to be immortal, I still want to die to be able to meet God, if I don't die, I can't meet God Ms...". Well, such a tactful kid :)

Seeing Caterpillars Becoming Butterflies (Part 1)

This is a story about a class I've handled the longest so far as my teaching career. Normally at our school, teacher manages a class for 1 term, about 2 months, after that the teacher will be exchanged so students won't get bored and they can experience different exposures and atmosphere. In November 2011, I was given a new class, a class of teenagers, high schoolers. I still remember when I first came, I met three students, a very serious young boy who seemed having no interest in other things except studying, a quiet girl who was well pretty dressed, and another ignorant girl who kept answering my question with "I don't know, I forget" without even looking at me. I was shaken, it was my forth month teaching, and I hadn't thought teenagers that much. So in my first 45 minutes in that class, I hid my nerve and kept talking to myself, "it's okay". I still remember 3 students came late for almost an hour, I had done my presentation when they came. I still remember their face, when they first look at me, they showed that they had no interest in me, one of them even asked, "why are you teaching us? where's ms.x", they nagged asking for their previous teacher. I had a breakdown on my first day with their cruelty, but I decided to stay. The previous teacher kept complaining about that class, especially those three late musketeers, so I thought that I might have to give it a try.

On our early meetings, I did my best to get to know them better. I love talking to my students, from those teenagers, I learned about a lot of new things, I learned how to deal with them better based on their different current situation. Reading books and watching movies showed me that it's such an easy thing to do, in fact, it was pretty hard on me. when I asked them , they responded not the way I expected.

I have a student named willy, 17yo boy. He is one of the three late musketeers. He always sat on the desk right in front of the teacher table, my table, cope his one hand around his face and stared at me with a very sharp eyes that looked like killer's eyes. I was once had a conversation with him.

Me: Willy what things are you interested in, do you like watching movies?

Willy: engga ms.

Me: what about Sport, do you like doing sports?

Willy: engga suka juga ms.

Me: So what thing do you like the most?

Willy: engga ada ms yang I suka, lagian ngapain sih ms nanya-nanya.

He didn't look annoyed, he was saying it with his straight face but it was embarrassing for me.

Two weeks had passed when I realize that they didn't change. Three musketeers kept coming late and even later, they didn't study seriously, I wonder if they even considered me as their teacher that time, they came late because they went to the fitness center before coming to class. They made me speechless. The rest three students didn't interact that much, they minded their own business. I was really worried. I prepared good materials and activities for the class but they just wouldn't work.

We finally had finished our first month together, it was time for mid-test. As expected, three musketeers weren't ready for it. when their friends were doing the tests, I put them in separated class saying that I would give them additional review. Truthfully I did review all the materials, they were following me seriously, even when I gave them writing practices. Looking at their serious faces toward the books, I wondered, why couldn't they be like that everyday. I mumbled, "why are you studying English?", three of them looked at me quietly. "I ask what is your purpose studying English?" I speak louder, still no response. "Is your mom forcing you to come here? or do you just follow each other to play here?". I remember how willy firstly offended, lift his chin up, "I for my study ms, saya juga worry sama English saya, nanti saya mau kuliah di perhotelan, saya mesti belajar ms..." I nodded, then gazed to Calvin, then he mumbled, "saya juga buat improve bahasa inggris saya ms", the last musketeer, Arya supported calvin's answer. I sighed again and looked at their faces one by one, "you know guys, you parents pay me to study with you here, I'm responsible for your English here so I feel useless if you just play around and give no attention toward the lessons, after hearing your reasons, I hope you can come on time next meeting, at least try coming earlier than coming one hour late. we have only 2 hours here, if you miss the first one, what should I do with things you've skipped? can you at least promise me this?". In the end they said "yes". Miraculously, the next meeting three of them came on time, I met them around the stairs, Calvin smiled and said, "ms, kita nepatin janji kita kan, nggak telat kan?". I smiled, it was one of happiest moments in my life. 

Day after days, I could see them change, but not like in a drama where they should change dramatically, no, it started with a tiny improvement, but I was grateful for that. Willy told me about his interest in cookery, Calvin and Arya showed interest in volleyball, William, the serious guy started telling stories about his brother instead of the academic things, Gaby, the quiet girl shared that she wanted to became an actress but her parents didn't allow her to join any auditions, and Ihui, the half Taiwanese girl who first looked very ignorant started bragging about her very lovely dog Bikime. I could feel that we got closer.

One terms finally ended, I thought I hadn't had enough time with them, I'm still unfinished with them so I told the principal to give me another chance there.

In our second term together, we had two new boys, Josiah, a boy with bright smile with his friend, a very tall Brian. Our class became warmer. In our second term, I finally saw William's first smile, it was really bright, I thought I would only see the folds on his forehead. Ihui and Gaby got along well, Gaby gave Ihui a birthday gift, Josian and Brian were very good at studying, three musketeers came earlier, Willy even came before me for several meetings. Just like that we finished our second term. I didn't have any right to beg the principal to stay there again, so I just let it be, although deep in my heart, I still want to be with them. Surprisingly they demanded to be taught by no other teachers but me. I knew I shouldn't. but I can't help to feel happy with their efforts, they threaten to stop studying if the teacher was changed. so there I was in the third term with them.

I think it was around March and April, three musketeers were up to their national exam at school, I was so nervous thinking about them. Too bad, on the second meeting of the third term, I couldn't make it, I collapsed of the typhus symptoms. I even fainted at my dorm that my uncle took me to his house in Bintaro. I skipped teaching for more than two weeks. It was really hard on me. I had no energy, I felt so used, I couldn't swallow anything, I lost my weight and getting so weak for staying on bed for too long. My mum isn't a text person, neither do I. She kept calling me but I was just too weak to tell things to her, speaking was even hard for me. My friends were normally busy so they didn't really have time to text me. Rather than feeling lonely, I felt afraid, I had never been that weak in my whole life. I started browsing through my smart phone about death that caused by my illness. I was afraid to that extent. If I could say who were there supporting me the most, of course my uncle's family, then my mum, then it was them, my students from that class, Gaby kept texting me reminding me to eat healthy food, William kept asking when I came back, Arya kept sending me jokes that never failed to put a smile on my weakling condition, and Calvin never got tired talking with me, he sent silly jokes and upgraded my spirit. I wasn't good at texting, usually, when people talk with me by letters, I kept thinking of the right response as I didn't want to hurt their feeling, I kept blaming my self if my talking partner ended the chat hanging or response me with a very short word. It didn't happen to me and my students, I love how I could be my self to them, I love how they never got annoyed by my late reply, my complaints, my nags, and even my brags.

At that time, even before I fully recovered, I decided to be back teaching. There was a thing I shouldn't be happy about, but it was touchy indeed. Some of them stop coming to class when I was on my leave, they said they  don't want any other teacher. They boycott the class, I felt so loved that time.

When I finally came back to that class, I was so happy to see their faces again. I guessed I would be recovered sooned. Arya even gave me a batik bracelet saying things like "ms harus cepet sembuh, kalo berasa sakit lagi, liat aja gelangnya nanti kan keingetan saya langsung sembuh deh, hahaha". I laughed seeing how confident he was. I still have the memorable bracelet.

Finally, our third term almost came to an end.Three musketeers were focusing on their national exam. We got closer. I kept supporting them, what was so thrilling, I accompanied them staying up late until morning to study, when they got sleepy they would text me, as a bat girl, it was a coincidence, I had friends to stay up late, it was a mutual relationship among us. When it finally passed, we all could breath in relax. But too bad that Willy started getting busy with his preparation to enrolling to tourism education school in Bintaro which is very far from Pluit that made him stop coming to class, it was around May when Gaby was getting busy too with her final exam at school, she stopped finally. Brian also left because his mum said to postpone the course first. We were left with me, William, Josiah, Ihui, Arya, and Calvin. The class got quieter. It was a bit painful when I saw the seat that used to be Willy's, Gaby's, and Brian's, but we got used to it eventually.

Now That class left with only me, Ihui, Josiah, and William. Arya started getting busy with his study in Untar so he left in around October 2012, Calvin who is currently studying in Binus was also busy with his extra activities at campus and his canon photo school so he left in October as well.

New students came to that class, but the feeling is still the same. It was warm and comfortable to teach there, I've taught that class for 1 year and 2 months because they never want another teacher. It was the only class that treat me more like friends, we shared everything, EVERYTHING, I know most of the things about them, their family, their intention, their dream and so on. They know me too, I don't know how far they've known, but they've seen me in my bad mood, in my good mood, and all situation where I complained and whined.

I still keep in touch with the other students through twitter and blackberry messenger. They're more like brothers and sisters to me. Sometimes they could be so whiny and stubborn, but the other time, they would be so mature and so helpful foe me.

One day when I stop teaching, I won't forget that I've ever been so happy with them and I'll keep our tie as long as possible.

Good Things Happen in Every December

It's 2013 already, relief for those who believed in Mayan's doomsday and I wish everyone a happy new year sincerely :)

I'm painting another pattern as a reminder of what have just happened these days. This was too beautiful to be ignored and to be abandoned.

December has always been my month. It's the last month of the year, a month when people usually reflect on what have happened during the year, as for me, I started breathing on the eleventh day of this month around 24 years ago. 

When I left home, I don't get the chance to commemorate my birthday with my family, I've had it with friends around me. Last year was bitter at first, I was going to spend the night waiting for my day thinking, but I ended up being lectured by my close friend's boyfriend instead, being reprimanded, and being criticized about how I should have acted toward his girlfriend which is my close friend. How bittersweet it was in the beginning, it eventually ended with a sparkling birth month when I could spent the end of the month having holiday at home.

I didn't expect much for my latest birthday, I learned a lot. Who knows that Murphy's law really worked. When I didn't hope for anything, I got more that anything I had ever had in my entire birthday.

At the midnight, I got a surprise birthday cake from my dorm friend and her sister. I made a wish right in front of the burning candles. I slept with spreaded birthday wishes around my phone messages, blackberry messenger, facebook, twitter, and even e-mail. In the morning, I got calls from home and my sister.I was so blessed.

At the midday, I went to work normally, got congratulated by the staffs at my office, and got around almost 5 hours until I had my first class that day. At around 2 pm, while I was busy with my lessons plan, I saw some silhouettes behind the glass wall in front of my desk, then two heads popped out from the door whispered, "ms, ms. wida, happy birthday to you!", when I saw that, I stood up and opened my arms widely so those two kids, Nathania and Jocelyn could reach me, I thanked them, then, Nia gave me her cheek, I kissed my student for the first time there, she was too cute to be ignored. Then, they continued whispering, "you know, we said to mr. Ricko we go to the toilet to pee, but we go here, please don't tell, hihihi...". I smiled brightly. I used to teach them but then, following the rule, the teacher was changed every new term.

Not long after they left, I suddenly had a student came to have school lessons (for catching up the lesson they're lacking at school). I had stayed there for around 30 minutes when Nathania and Cleo, another student from her class knocked on my door to say, "ms, we've got surprise for you, please open a yellow folder on your desk, ok! don't forget!". Later I found out that they made birthday cards for me, it was also thanks to their homeroom teacher, mr. ricko who gave them extra time to put their effort on those cards.

At around 3 pm. I sat back at the office to continue my teaching preparation. When I was about to start, I got a call from the receptionist, she told me that I got a package, I just laughed and told them to stop tricking me, I was so sure they tricked me because I didn't buy anything online that time, but they kept ensuring me, and even said that it was delivered from Bandung, I laughed louder and started enjoying the trick, until they said, "ini paketnya dari bramantyo ardi wardhana", what??, since when did they know my friend's name?. Still unsure, instead of walking down the stairs, I asked the office boy to get it for me if it were real. When the delivery arrived in front of my eyes, I was overly surprised and when I saw it real, I was so happy that I could cry, I didn't ever dream of that kind of surprise package would come from anyone, and even from Bamby, who I self-proclaimed as my brother, well, now I even think that he might be my former brother's long legs, hehe. Thankyouu Bambinoo!

When I finally had my first class that day, my students welcomed me with very warm birthday greetings. That class soon ended, but before I dismissed it, a teenage girl stopped me and asked me to wait then rushed to the downstairs. My heart raced thinking about what would happen. She came back fast bringing a well-packaged birthday gift that she had prepared and had entrusted to the receptionist until she gave it. It was a black bag, that class absolutely know how I was a fan of black. I felt blessed even more thinking about the thought she gave while preparing that gift.

I finally finished working with a super happy feeling then reached home to get another surprise from my best friends that came to my room with another cake and present. I slept peacefully by the feeling of being loved that night.

The next day, I got another class which means I was spreaded with a lot of wishes again. I even got another special gift, why was it special? because it won't be given by just any random student. It was a package of black nail polish and nail pack. Long ago, one of my student complimented my pink nail polish, she also said that I would be better trying black polish for my nails. I told her I wanted to, but somehow I don't feel confident and some friends of mine suggested that I wear bright nail polish to be girly. When she gave that gift, she told me to wear it and be confident because she knew how I liked black and also the nail pack is the part of nail care that she hoped I wouldn't mind making my nails brightened as well when I'm without nail polish, how lovely :')

I had my 24th birthday on 11th December, but I will never forget the 12th as well, A day after my birthday, while I was teaching a night class, I got a surprise from my old students who gathered to come for my birthday, it was DAEBAK! I'll definitely tell about them in my next post.

Well, whenever I introduce myself to new students, I'd say that I'm 17, then after they put their suspicious face, I'll add, 17 plus 6, but now, I guess I must be used to telling them that I'm 17 plus 7. 

A new age, and a new year, I'm also thinking of some aims, but I know how God listens to my prayer so let it be. What's so obvious, I think I've changed, of course, everyone changes, if we don't hurt people or getting hurt by people, we wont change, if we don't change, we won't move forward. If I were a machine, I would always be in repaired. Things that happened and people surround me make me who I am, I want to be developed, I want to be better together with them.

Attention Seekers Part 2

Ah, I can't believe that I need very long time to continue my previous story. Well, today, I finally got my official contract for my new status, Junior 2 Teacher, after the class observations, workshop, submitting lesson plans, etc, in the end I did quite well :p

About the messy mushroom class during the observation, I kept thinking about it, after that, I couldn't face my principal directly, I was afraid and had a feeling that she must have thought that I was incapable as a teacher. It affected my mood in the class, after that class, we still had several meetings before the project and progress tests, so every time I saw my students, it's not that I hate them, but as normal human I had a thought like, "ah.. I could have done better if only you had cooperated well that day". I acted normally but inside my heart, I felt worried. The result of the observation was still unknown but I presumed myself. My spirit eventually went down in handling that class. I was nervous of bad result possibility.

One day after that D-day, I came to that class wearing brand new shoes, they're brown almost red, and I could admit that they're my most girly shoes with even ribbons on them. My kids didn't say anything but they looked at mine obviously, their pride was just too high to ask whether I wore new shoes.

During the class activities, a kiddo came to me and asked question, but instead of normally standing in front of me, he stocked his plump body to my legs, since he wasn't doing it for whiny purpose, I let it be. While I was answering his question, he lost his balance and stepped on my shoes, and as soon as that happen, he swapped the ribbon on my right shoes with his big crocs sandals until the ribbon stocked out and fell on the floor, I was shocked, widened my eyes, looked at the crocodile that had eaten my clueless new shoes. I could have been angry, but then I controlled my self, ok I was sure he would apologize, I knew he's not a bad kid.

Surprisingly more shocked than me, the kiddo looked scared and he left me speechless with his excuse. Rather than saying sorry, he said senseless words, "Ms, is this your new shoe? that's whyyy, I actually want to tell you, don't buy ABAL-ABAL shoes, this is cheap but bad, look now it's broken, buy crocs like me, this is good shoes". Normally I would stop him and remind him about Indonesian word he said, "abal-abal", but that time, my head burned, this crocs monster, how could he say such things. I was thinking of a counter attack when he said another defended words, "your shoes are abal-abal ms, my MOM said good shoes are crocs...". After his last excuse, my head cooled down, I really wanted to meet his mum that time. I was angry to him, but I felt that his mum should take the blame for the not-sorry kiddo.  

After that, my spirit suppressed dramatically there. the next meeting, it was around three meetings left before we finished the level. I came to the class promising my self to forget all the traumatic things happened there.

As soon as I got in, several kids were busy writing and drawing, then, a chubby girl came to me and said, "Next level, you're still with us, right?", I just put on a smile. "I like you, This is for you from us, please keep this". I was curious but then sentimentally smiled looking at the note she gave me. Ah how I could ignore those kids. They made mistake by adding 'are' before love, but I didn't mind at all, and what's with 'from the children', so cheesy, hehe.

Well, about the observation result, I was kinda taken aback when the principal said good thing about my teaching procedures, "It must be hard on you, teaching kids, they don't calculate our feelings like adult, they do things recklessly, but I really like the way you coped with them, the way you personally handle them, bear in your mind that you have the patience as the key to teaching kids, keep it up....". I was blanked, the principal said all good things about the way I treated the students, in fact she criticized only the technical thing, "during the pair work, you made a student ask and the pair answer, it was actually good, but it would be much better if they didn't do it only that way, they need to exchange their role to add the exposure to the language....". So the feedback session was almost all about technical thing, mushroom class attitude that time didn't influence any of my credits. And, see now, I've pass another step, now I'm a Junior 2 teacher, the mushroom class is currently being taught by another teacher, let them experience, reflect, and learn. I'm thankful to them for giving me unexpected experience and good time.

Attention Seekers

Still remember the class with mushroom stories? once I read the story again, it looks like that's a perfect class where every teacher's plan will go smoothly. In fact, sometimes I feel like the kids (they're all about six or 7 and one is 8) start taking me easy, this recurring problem is not new at all for a lenient teacher like me, but I don't want to tell about it.

So this is a story about my kind of 'D-day', an important day. In our school, teachers are normally observed by the principal every several months, so this is my 9th observation day. The mushroom class, we call it Red 1, was chosen as the representative of my children class. I didn't feel nervous at all since that wasn't my first time, although we've got new material with completely new publisher books and multimedia, I had no worry. So I made my lesson plan well, activity by activity. I predicted things that could ruin my session until I finally thought that everything's perfect.

At the 'D-day', I told them that the principal would join them studying. Their response was just like "Oh, ohkay". I didn't have any intuition about unplanned things to happen.

The principal was finally sitting there when I started the class. And you know whaat? even since the first stage of teaching procedures, things were going unplanned.

I normally start by talking to them about their day, the food they ate, the lesson they studied at school, the cartoon they watched previous night, and even their plans after class, they have always been excited telling me everything, Gaby, the most talkative usually starts with "I'm not happy today, but I'm not angry too, just so so, I'm a lil bit tired, you know I have many course, and I clean my bedroom, my sister is lazy, never tidy the room, and today at school I have math test, it's easy, bla bla...". Marco ever replied me "Today I play basketball, I fight with P4, they're big, but I score one, tomorrow I play again at school but with P3, I think I will win again, bla bla...", even the quietest student, Priska always answers like, "I study PE today, weekend I go to church and then eat at the mall with my mum and dad and brother..". 

Normally they answer that way, but as soon as another new person (which was the principal) joined us, they turned to be aliens. This is the chronology of my first stage, talk to the students.

I started, "Hello everyone! so how's you day today? who's happy here? Are you all sad? no?" (I started brightly).

No one answered me, they put on very expensive faces telling me like, "want me to speak? pay in advance!". I tried really hard until several of them answered, "don't want to tell you about today". I was choked, but all was well, I went to the second stage, warming up. I had prepared a very exhilarating game with a lot of expectation in it. Normally since it was a new game, they will shout excitingly "I want to play, me first, me first, me first!", but while the principal was watching, they put on their "still expensive face" and just responded, "ms, I don't want to play", "it's boring ms, can I not play?", "can we play other game?", "ms, I want play hangman". Nothing answered as expected although in the end they played after my eyes almost popped out (I lie,hehe).

It was really funny once I thought about it again. Thank God, I'm not a newbie so I've learned to be prepared for those unplanned situations.

In the middle of my presentation, they could follow me in a quite normal way. I chose pair work as the practice, I divided them in to several pairs, usually, they never complain about anything during this activity. They have to follow all my instructions, but that day, they quite disappointed me because one of them didn't care about my instructions, and kept complaining as well, "ms, I think I know how to do this, we better bla.. bla.. so it is more interesting bla.. bla..", I don't mind my kids giving me suggestions, but at that time she talked a nonsense rule which wasn't correct at all but just created a chaotic situation. I got stiff because of that. I started getting more serious so they could follow me seriously too.

During the production stage, I encourage them to draw their room "this morning and now", basically they've just been intruduced to "past tense, was and were". Normally almost all of them are excited of drawing because it's fun, but that day, ane of the students said, "ms aaah, I don't want to draw", then, "ms, I can not draw", one who wanted to draw even said, "I want to draw the mountain and the beach", and there they went out of control. I never shout at my students, I don't believe in the "scary way" to educate. So I started shifting their attention from rebelling, I mumbled, "hm.. Amazing World of Gumball last episode wasn't interesting at all...", normally they will be offended and reply, "noooo, I like it!", "it was greaat not bad!" and other defensive answers, but at that day, they answer, "I don't watch it, I don't like gumball anymore, I like 'adventure time now'", I was like, argh! (but only in my heart, of course :D). I could see the principal couldn't hold her smile.

Finally after feeling like it's been a thousand years, the last fifteen minutes, the principal left. As soon as she left, all the aliens turned to be my normal kids! and started telling a lot of story and all. I was just sighing non-stop.

Ooops! this gonna be a very longe story, I'll make it in to two part because I'm running out of time to prepare going to my office, see you tonight, blogspot!

About Ella

When I first taught last year, I did an observation to a class for 6-7yo kids, there were 4 students, 2 girls and 2 boys. One of the girl was Ella, the principal and the teacher there said that she was 'different', she almost never spoke anything in class. That time when I came to that class, she was even making weird acts. She kept sitting on the floor under her desk. Her room's teacher had already asked her to sit properly but it was useless, she had no response. When other students played game, she was silent persistently in her position. She didn't make messy face, she smiled, but she just didn't care about those things. Later during the observation evaluation with the principal, I was explained that students like Ella did exist. She's eager to learn but she had her own way. Well, if that's the case, I felt relief.
Some days of observation had passed. One day, I was given a chance to give Ella a make up lesson, a lesson for student that miss a class. We were sitting quietly in Bristol (name of the room) when I started my presentation about material that she missed. She was good that time. She paid attention to me. When I asked her to do the practices, she just nodded her head and did it. That lesson went well, but I just had a feeling "this is not right". A kid should talk much at her age. I asked her some question like things she like, but as expected, no response. I tried other questions but they didn't work either. I almost gave up until I saw her bag, it was tinker bell patterned. I pointed at it and said "I know that pretty fairy, it is tink", she smiled brightly and nodded her head then she mumbled something. I asked, "do you watch the cartoon? it is good", I could see that she became interested as she said "yes" directly.
I was having butterfly in my stomach, I wanted to scream, "I got youu kid!", but then I laughed realizing that I didn't even play any games with her from the start. During the practice, she needed her eraser, she didn't have it in her pencil case, "my eraser is in my x (mentioned name of another english course) bag downstairs", she explained. I was a bit confused, but I told her to stay there, then I went downstairs to the receptionist table, she said, "miss, ini tas x-nya ella miss, dia ambil les bahasa inggris dua, di sini satu sama di x satu, tadi dia dari jam 1 sampe jam 3 di x, langsung nyambung di sini". I was shocked. Ella? a 6yo kid took 2 english courses, I thought it was too much. I pitied kids these days.
After finishing workbook, I asked her about plan for the upcoming weekend (saturday is the next day after that day), she whispered telling me, "I can not go tomorrow, I have clay course from morning to afternoon", I responded spontaneously, "hey! tomorrow's saturday", she whispered quieter, "yes, but I have class, I can not go there from sunday to friday, I have other courses too". I was surprised, she was just 6yo and she looked busier than 23yo someone like me, I knew that after she mentioned many courses she took. "is that fun, your clay class?", I asked her. "yes, I already make two, I have mouse and duck, I want to bring here but can not...". She mumbled more, I was touched, not only because of her story but also because it was the first time I saw her speaking like other kid, although it was more like mumbling and whispering, I would like to scream, "I hear you", but I knew it would scare her so I decided to put my best smile and tried to give my best responses. She told me many things, "I am moving school next month", I became curious, "why? are you moving home too?", she didn't answer me, she took her book, write a school name next to another school name, then she wrote some explanation. I could hardly understood that it was like"no, mommy says my school now is not good, it is international school but still not good, my new school is better..." She continued telling things by writing things that turned out to be hard to understand by my old school mind, I did think that kids, they needed time to play too, why didn't we just let them develop in easy way. I fell in love with her that day, no matter how different she was.
After some days, I had a chance to teach her class, that time, while preparing the warmer session, I prayed to God that she would join. I hold her little hand and invite her. She stood with her friends full of doubt. I looked at her, wished that she could read my mind "you'll be okay kid!". I was fully happy when she could say the game password, "bingo!", although it was with a very low voice, I could hear her it was really satisfying.
Well, I could say that Ella was the first student that impressed me there. It could be true that there are many Ellas around, but what I think, maybe, if she could, she would like to say this (I thought of this at that time):
"I know I'm quiet student, I know I'm different than others, I know I don't talk much and sometimes I act weird, but instead of leaving me in my own world, PLEASE PUT MORE EFFORT IN ME..."
Since then I promise myself, I won't ignore any Ella, I'm going to do my best try for silent students like Ella, no matter how long it takes.