Good Things Happen in Every December

It's 2013 already, relief for those who believed in Mayan's doomsday and I wish everyone a happy new year sincerely :)

I'm painting another pattern as a reminder of what have just happened these days. This was too beautiful to be ignored and to be abandoned.

December has always been my month. It's the last month of the year, a month when people usually reflect on what have happened during the year, as for me, I started breathing on the eleventh day of this month around 24 years ago. 

When I left home, I don't get the chance to commemorate my birthday with my family, I've had it with friends around me. Last year was bitter at first, I was going to spend the night waiting for my day thinking, but I ended up being lectured by my close friend's boyfriend instead, being reprimanded, and being criticized about how I should have acted toward his girlfriend which is my close friend. How bittersweet it was in the beginning, it eventually ended with a sparkling birth month when I could spent the end of the month having holiday at home.

I didn't expect much for my latest birthday, I learned a lot. Who knows that Murphy's law really worked. When I didn't hope for anything, I got more that anything I had ever had in my entire birthday.

At the midnight, I got a surprise birthday cake from my dorm friend and her sister. I made a wish right in front of the burning candles. I slept with spreaded birthday wishes around my phone messages, blackberry messenger, facebook, twitter, and even e-mail. In the morning, I got calls from home and my sister.I was so blessed.

At the midday, I went to work normally, got congratulated by the staffs at my office, and got around almost 5 hours until I had my first class that day. At around 2 pm, while I was busy with my lessons plan, I saw some silhouettes behind the glass wall in front of my desk, then two heads popped out from the door whispered, "ms, ms. wida, happy birthday to you!", when I saw that, I stood up and opened my arms widely so those two kids, Nathania and Jocelyn could reach me, I thanked them, then, Nia gave me her cheek, I kissed my student for the first time there, she was too cute to be ignored. Then, they continued whispering, "you know, we said to mr. Ricko we go to the toilet to pee, but we go here, please don't tell, hihihi...". I smiled brightly. I used to teach them but then, following the rule, the teacher was changed every new term.

Not long after they left, I suddenly had a student came to have school lessons (for catching up the lesson they're lacking at school). I had stayed there for around 30 minutes when Nathania and Cleo, another student from her class knocked on my door to say, "ms, we've got surprise for you, please open a yellow folder on your desk, ok! don't forget!". Later I found out that they made birthday cards for me, it was also thanks to their homeroom teacher, mr. ricko who gave them extra time to put their effort on those cards.

At around 3 pm. I sat back at the office to continue my teaching preparation. When I was about to start, I got a call from the receptionist, she told me that I got a package, I just laughed and told them to stop tricking me, I was so sure they tricked me because I didn't buy anything online that time, but they kept ensuring me, and even said that it was delivered from Bandung, I laughed louder and started enjoying the trick, until they said, "ini paketnya dari bramantyo ardi wardhana", what??, since when did they know my friend's name?. Still unsure, instead of walking down the stairs, I asked the office boy to get it for me if it were real. When the delivery arrived in front of my eyes, I was overly surprised and when I saw it real, I was so happy that I could cry, I didn't ever dream of that kind of surprise package would come from anyone, and even from Bamby, who I self-proclaimed as my brother, well, now I even think that he might be my former brother's long legs, hehe. Thankyouu Bambinoo!

When I finally had my first class that day, my students welcomed me with very warm birthday greetings. That class soon ended, but before I dismissed it, a teenage girl stopped me and asked me to wait then rushed to the downstairs. My heart raced thinking about what would happen. She came back fast bringing a well-packaged birthday gift that she had prepared and had entrusted to the receptionist until she gave it. It was a black bag, that class absolutely know how I was a fan of black. I felt blessed even more thinking about the thought she gave while preparing that gift.

I finally finished working with a super happy feeling then reached home to get another surprise from my best friends that came to my room with another cake and present. I slept peacefully by the feeling of being loved that night.

The next day, I got another class which means I was spreaded with a lot of wishes again. I even got another special gift, why was it special? because it won't be given by just any random student. It was a package of black nail polish and nail pack. Long ago, one of my student complimented my pink nail polish, she also said that I would be better trying black polish for my nails. I told her I wanted to, but somehow I don't feel confident and some friends of mine suggested that I wear bright nail polish to be girly. When she gave that gift, she told me to wear it and be confident because she knew how I liked black and also the nail pack is the part of nail care that she hoped I wouldn't mind making my nails brightened as well when I'm without nail polish, how lovely :')

I had my 24th birthday on 11th December, but I will never forget the 12th as well, A day after my birthday, while I was teaching a night class, I got a surprise from my old students who gathered to come for my birthday, it was DAEBAK! I'll definitely tell about them in my next post.

Well, whenever I introduce myself to new students, I'd say that I'm 17, then after they put their suspicious face, I'll add, 17 plus 6, but now, I guess I must be used to telling them that I'm 17 plus 7. 

A new age, and a new year, I'm also thinking of some aims, but I know how God listens to my prayer so let it be. What's so obvious, I think I've changed, of course, everyone changes, if we don't hurt people or getting hurt by people, we wont change, if we don't change, we won't move forward. If I were a machine, I would always be in repaired. Things that happened and people surround me make me who I am, I want to be developed, I want to be better together with them.

My Father and Me

The relationship between me and my father is difficult to define. So far that I know, we're very close because I've always done everything he asked me to do. I did well at school. I didn't make friends with those who my father thought would harm me. I've always stayed at home playing snake and ladder, monopoly, scrabble, or lego after school since he told me that our neighborhood environment wasn't good. I've always slept in the afternoon exactly from 2 until 4, I had never gone to school before I finished my breakfast. I had never had my lunch before I fixed my shoes and uniforms on the right place. I remember that I never intentionally disappointed him except when I skipped one of my afternoon sleeping time and escaped from the windows to play with my friends, I do regret it.

I know we're very close because I've always been there for him. In the morning, I would be the one who was ready to join my father's morning exercise, running. I remember it was always still dark, my sisters would still be covered by their thick blanket while me, ready to fight with the morning breeze. Sometimes I wonder, why did I want to do that? If I didn't want to, I could just say no, but the fact that I did it, maybe it was also part of my unconditional love toward my father.

He would run so fast and leave me behind then I would be scared of being alone in the dark so I would try my best to chase him. Sometimes my father would trick me, give me his heavy bag and said that he needed to fix his shoelaces. when the bag was in my hands, he would run again, and I'd hardly try to chase him with that heavy bag.

That was happened eight or ten years ago. As the time goes by, We barely have time to do those things. My father is loosening his strict rules toward me. During my high school  I could go wherever I wanted to go, I could get home late in the night. To get those kind of freedom crept me out too. I asked my mother why he always permitted me doing everything, and my mom's answer made me speechless, "your father knows how stubborn you are, even though he says, no, you won't listen, you'll still do things you like, so tactfully he always says, yes". I wonder if I was really that stubborn, but thanks father for putting your trust on me that time.

Nowadays, I barely talk to my father. He isn't a text man, neither do I. He's not so keen on talking on the phone, and I found it more difficult to build conversation on the phone with him, you know, things have changed, and when it happened, we're at different place and situation.

As he goes older, I know how I come to this level of stubbornness, it was inherited by him.

About two weeks ago, I went home. As usual, my father would gladly drive me to places I requested. We talked a lot along the way. My father isn't the kind of man who said sweet words to me, we often exchanged nag and ended up defensing ourselves. It was still the same fun.

Two weeks ago, I realized one thing, I need to get to know my father more and my father needs to get to know me more, because in several part, I'm not the same as I used to be. It's quite amusing, let me give you example. During lebaran, I was quite exhausted following my father here and there visiting thousands of relatives which meant I tied my hand on my father's hand, which also meant not ordinary since in my town, people at my age should go with friends, not with their father visiting all the oldies. I did enjoy knowing my relatives, but I felt too tired that time so I did protest him why he kept forcing me to follow him everywhere. His answer made me furious, "Is it a burden following me? why? wanna go with your friends? where are they? I don't see one these days, and its not like you have a boyfriend either to take you everywhere, so just follow me and memorize all your relatives". I was burned that time, I didn't want to just lose, so I answered, "why mentioning boyfriend? how am I going to have boyfriend if I always follow my father and my mother everywhere?". My father just laughed. I thought about it a lot, he's surely concerned about me. These days I barely meet my friends, they're busy with their own lives and I wont bother disturbing them. It brought me to tears though.

Another story that strengthened the fact that we both needs to get to know each other more, we've got so many relatives, some of them live quite far that we need to drive there. One day we planned to visit one of them. My father warmed up his old car, then my mother got in, my two sisters came afterward while I was still in my bedroom, fixing my messy liquid eyeliner, to be honest I'm not in to eyeliner, I'm still amateur. I wasn't keen on 'make up', but these days I learned about it. When I got home, people kept thinking that I was still students, and my mother kept encouraging me to change a bit, to take care of my 'womanish side' to look as what adult woman looks in my town. So that day, my father kept pressing the horn calling me out. I was really angry because even in a normal situation, I hardly put on eyeliner, in a hurry moment like that, I saw a picture of mountain on my eyelids, it was horrible. I took all of my 'make up' things, then got out of home with sully face, my father asked if I was asleep before, of course it was just a sarcastic way. I told him that I needed more time for my 'make up', he was just like giving less care and mumbled stuff like "why bother putting make up, what for, woman with make up or without make up is just the same". I was like argh! it's useless to answered, so I started erasing my eyeliner. Along the rocky road, I thought a lot, previous time, when I got home, I still didn't like putting 'make up' so I didn't need more time, but these time, I can't just leave home shabbily, I've got that sense of shame and I want to respect my self more.

Well, there were too many stories to be told here, stories I want to remember, I learned a lot last time I was home. When I kissed that old man before leaving home for another year, I talk to him in my heart, "dad, I might not be anyone now, but I'm sure that I'm not stubborn for no reason, I promise to understand you better in the future".

Ah, I write for this long, once I read this again, I miss my father more. I love him unconditionally.

Happy Fun-Lentine's Day!

4th February was always ordinary for me, I had never celebrated it like holy day, until several days ago. In my office, most of my students are take valentine's day as special event of 'day to love'. I appreciated it. I could say that I enjoyed those valentine's day celebration because of many good things.

First, in my office, we gave free homemade chocolate to every student. I've got 6 classes and I finally knew how Santa Claus felt while distributing all Christmas gifts, I enjoyed looking at their happy face after receiving chocolate from me (of course not from me personally, but from my office).

Second, We also held a valentine's card competition, so all the class would compete to make the best valentine's card to get presents from our office. the card should be interesting, creative, and good in accuracy. I enjoyed waiting for my students doing it in our last 20minutes lesson time.

the kiddos were also full of spirit for the card

Then, We also divided a 'love card' for each of them, so they could write their love messages. They could write for their mum, dad, sisters, brothers, friends, or whoever. Later we display all the love message on the first floor near the corridor to enter t classrooms, everyone could see whether they got a message or not. This was fuuun, moreover I got several cards from my students, I'm touched. I also got several discount voucher gift for hair treatment in megamall pluit from a student who's working there :D

Well, these are most impressive cards that I've got, the first one is impressive because I know that william lied there saying that he couldnt live without me, he he, but I like the last part ;). The second card was from Tius, he's college student from Goldy's class. That day, Goldy went out from the class laughing because of Tius' card for me, his card is funny, I felt like jumping because of shocking. that big boy must have eaten wrong meals that day :)). The third class was from Felicia, a 6yo kid. I told her to send a card for her parents but then she refused and wrote this instead. It's definitely a lie, I dont teach her everyday but only once a week on saturday class, but still for 6yo kid to write that way, I was impressed. The last card was from Calvin, a high school boy. He saw Felicia's card and kept complaining like "ms. I know she lied, you'll never teach us everyday, she lied, she lied...", then He made the honest-card-he-thought, and I couldnt stop laughing of his childish nagging.

Finally, I thank God for this wonderful week full of love, they kept saying "happy valentine miss", and the kiddos kept saying "I love you miss". I'm so grateful for this full-of-love-week. I couldnt say this, but I think they already know, I love them too, more than they do.

Housewife=Babysitter

One day, as usual, me and my fellow teacher, debora were talking about our "today's classes" when I suddenly choked surprised. That day, she taught Red Class, a class for kids (around 6-7yo), about Job, she generally explained many kinds of jobs with a very simple english (what could we expect for 7yo kids to understand about occupation :D).
She started with easy one like "teacher is someone who teaches you in school or courses", "pilot is someone who drives an aeroplane", etc. Then she continued to some term that werent difficult to memorize but not easy to understand, like 'businessman', if we told them about 'business things', it would be useless, so we just said like "businessman is someone who is busy working in a company and wears tidy suit", one of the kid responded "miss, my father is businessman, he has got company", later we found out that his father is toys businessman, then debora continued to a new term, 'housewife', she started explaining, "housewife is someone who works at home, takes care the children and husband, like you and everything in your house...", a kid suddenly responded excitedly, "um, I know.. I know.. so housewife is like my babysitter..."
My friend, debora, was like about to laugh listening to that, but maybe when she saw the kid with a very bright smile thinking that he had given a really smart answer, my friend was touched. Later she added some explanation that housewife is from 'wife' but still the kids thought that housewife is babysitter because they had experienced all the things babysitter did and its exactly the same with explanation about housewife, and a bit pitiful that they couldnt think that housewife is actually 'mother' since they didnt feel that way (and most of their mother worked so they'e not housewife).
Well, later I found out most of mothers nowadays tend to give their children to a baby sitter, some of them could manage everything so well that mother+babysitter become a good combo, and the kid usually grows up done, but some others are too busy so they give their children up to the baby sitter. when they send their kids to a course, they tend to expect too much without noticing the kids development, one dayone of the teacher got a call from a mum, she was a bit upset when she found out that her kid couldnt write "three" properly. The kid had been in ILP for about 7month, its the seventh month, and her mum suddenly appear on the phone. The teacher explained, "We're very sorry for that maam, but thats normal for kid to forget the spelling easilysince they're just 6yo, even in bahasa they tend to make mistakes in writing, about three, although she couldnt spell properly, I'm sure she knows the meaning, for kids we focused more in memorizing the vocabularies, but of course every meeting we practice writing too. Your kid, she's quite good with her vocabulary bank." The mother was like "but my kid has been there for seven month!" well, the kids came with a very weak english and only got about one hour two meetings a week, then the mother expected her to be able to speak like native, impossible. "maam, its useless if you think that studying here is enough, kids memorizing easily, but forgetting easily too, that's why they need to repeat again at home, did you help her all this way?" the teacher add the explanation and the mother answered "well, I already ask the babysitter to do all of that, to help her, I have no time to help her in her study...",
Then, case closed! Her babysitter plus driver always came with her to the course, but they didnt even finish their high school, so how come the mother expect them to help her in studying english. That time I was a bit mad listening to that phone conversation story. We invited the parent to come on report book day once in two month to talk about the kid, but what we met mostly babysitters or drivers, yet the mother's complaining while knowing nothing about the kids progress, tsk...
Those were just some experiences for us as teacher r, thanks to them, I learned a lot :)

tons of unspoken words make you feel dizzy

tons of action you think of but you never did make you sick

you stay on a dream then you failed

you have your passion then you got blind

everybody rises, everybody falls

situation changes in a blink of an eye

do you always need any reasons to be sad?

do you always have any problems to be mad?

you see 'giving up' as a choice, seems like its the last option..

you remember everyone you love

it really hurts watching people making fun of them

and then you stand as a glass

you spend your day talking to the night

fake smiling to the sun

sometimes everything's just too way complicated

you wish you just had to run then reached the 'finish' line

but then you wake up in a lost place

should you believe in a miracle?

sorry for keeping a 'thorn'

i know how hard she's struggling

i listen to every sad story she told

and i'm amazed by everything she's still relieved of

for the unspoken words, for the things you wish you've done, for your lost passion, and for everyone you love, be strong...

for the greatest woman on earth, i know how you feel, yet you're still giving her best support and effort, someday i'll make them 'see' you again, i'll get the time erased your pain

god, i know you're there, i know you know what i want you to know

lend me your hand to walk through these all :)

She'll Surely Get The Miracle

I saw her today. She was not like the girl I used to see.

I've heard that she's not well these days, so when my friend, Gilang asked me to visit her, I agreed. She's not in her dorm, nor in her home. She's in 'Rumah Sakit Hasan Sadikin'. Me, Gilang, and Nita, a friend too, asked the information centre about where she's exactly. They told us to go to the ICU room. We went to the second floor, looking for ICU room, then find her name in front of a room. The officer told us to wear the coat they provide. The blue coat was just like something I used to see in many movies. I couldnt explain how's my feeling while fixing my body in it.
I saw her. She was laying on the sixth bed. Honestly I was afraid of seeing her. I was afraid that I couldnt stop my tears falling.
There she was... she has been coma for 19 days. I couldnt stand it, she was so pity. I asked a doctor about her case, but I dont get any clear information, they only said that there was viruses in her brain. she was not coma actually, but the medical team made her coma to make her comfort. She'll get convulsion if she's in concsious condition.
I dont like hospital and everything related to it. Today I was in and saw her. Once again, I never imagine that could be happen to her. She was sleeping with the hose around her neck. and infusions on her hands. she was breathing with the ventilator help. God, I thought that those just happen in movies but today, I found it in my real life, and the one who's struggling is her.
I asked the doctor, when will she be back. Then the doctor smile and said, no one knows.
After 30 minutes since I stood near her bed, her brothers and sisters came in. They brought a 'tumpeng'. Apparantly, today was her 22 birthday. Her older sister came near her, held her hands tight, and saying something to her. She's still silent, no response... I couldnt hear what the older sister said but, I guess it was a birthday wishes. I bit my lips hardly, I held it tight. I must not cry there (I was commited). The older sister cried, took the tissue and wiped her tears. Today, in her 22 birthday, she was coma, no one knows about what next to happen but God.
My lips was hurt. I thought I couldnt stay there any longer. Before we went out, her brothers and sisters said, "thankyou for coming, please pray for our little sister, please forgive her mistakes".
God, what was that? I turned around and went crying outside the room.
Well, she's my senior high school friend, We've never been so close, but God, please give her the best.. Amiin..

Kucing Anggora Tetangga

Mukyaaa *saya lagi demam nodame ;)
Hola amigos, pagi ini saya bangun dengan badan pegal2 karena semalaman main sama kucing anggora tetangga, lucu banget kucingnya. Oh well, saya nggak suka kucing, di rumah, si mipuss *kucing adek saya* aja saya cuekin. Saya nggak suka kalo bulunya mulai rontok di kursi, di karpet, dan di tempat-tempat lain.
Tadi malam, saya benar-benar sendirian di lantai 2 kosan. Ketika saya keluar kamar mau buang sampah, saya hampir lompat kaget, ada yang ngelus-ngelus kaki saya, dan ternyata itu kucing! saya udah hampir kesel aja, biasanya kalo ada kucing di kosan adalah kucing yang suka bongkar-bongkar tempat sampah, eh ternyata yang ini kucingnya lucu, saya terenyuh liat matanya, huaa.. saya yang biasanya males megang kucing langsung megang kucing itu, bulunya panjang banget, kucing anggora ternyata, pantesan cantik. Dan sukseslah saya main-main berjam-jam sama itu kucing, dia berkali-kali hampir masuk ke kamar saya, tapi langsung saya tutup pintunya, jadi kayak main kucing-kucingan *lah emang dia kucing*.
Hampir jam sebelas ketika saya udah bener-bener capek. Saya ucapkan sampai jumpa pada kucing anggora hitam putih itu dan masuk kamar. Tidak lama saya mengintip, ah dia masih di depan pintu, baiklah, saya ajak main-main sebentar, kemudian saya sudah mencapai limit ngantuk, dengan berat hati saya tinggal si kucing. Nggak lama datanglah yang punya kucing dan membawa si kucing kembali ke rumahnya di lantai 1. Semoga kita masih bisa bertemu kuciing :)

Happy sunday!!!

It's about The Man I love The Most

He's the closest man to me in my whole life, the best man I've ever known, the most reliable man for me, the man that understand me the most, the man who think of me in his every breath, the man who lift me up in my in my every fall.. He's someone the words just couldnt tell..
He's my Dad, I love him..
Happy Father's day, Bapak..

...that he's no hero, but he's doing what he can
trying to make me a better man,
he's no hero, but he made me what I am..

Kebetulan

the wonder of teaching is watching caterpillars become butterflies

dias amigos :D
percaya nggak sama yang namanya 'kebetulan'? saya sih percayanya sama Tuhan, hehe, tapi baru saja mengalami sesuatu hal yang kebetulan.
ceritanya pas bangun pagi ini saya keingetan murid2 les inggris saya dulu jaman SMA, nggak tau gimana bisa keingetan mereka, oke saya memang nggak ingat semuanya, dulu saya pernah mengajar di dua kelas.. tapi satu kelas yang sangat berkesan dan saya ajar paling lama, orang2nya lucu2, waktu itu mereka rata2 baru masuk SMP.
yang pertama akan saya ceritakan bernama frismaneli, dulu dia masih anak2 dengan senyum manis dan rambut pendek lurus. frisma rumahnya jauuh sekali dr tempat les, tetapi rajin masuk. sampai saya lulus, frisma masih sering menghubungi saya via telpon dan sms, tapi sekarang saya lose contact -_-
kedua namanya nurhadiansyah, orangnya supertinggi, jago beladiri, dulu dian anaknya pendiaam sekali, setelah selesai les, kami nggak pernah ketemu lagi, tapi kebetulan 2 tahun lalu, ketika saya mudik dan main ke almamater saya, smansa, saya liat dian, oh my, dia tinggi sekali, eh bukan itu maksudnya saya surprise ngeliat orang yang dulu waktu les sama saya masih anak2 eh 2 tahun lalu udah jadi junior saya di SMA..
yang ketiga namanya putra, anaknya rame, asik, dan dia lucuuu, putra kalo berangkat les naik sepeda. saya ingat putra pernah nyanyiin lagunya saykoji di kelas waktu lagi heboh2nya, "lo bilang bokap lo pengusaha, bokap lo kaya raya, so what gitu loh?" say audah lupa liriknya, tapi kira2 begitu :D
berikutnya ada rida, rida ini anaknya cerewet sekali, ramee, suka nyeletuk2, kecil2 cabe rawit.. setelah lama di kelas saya, saya baru tahu ternyata rida itu adik teman seangkatan saya di SMA, hehe.. lucu rasanya mengajar adik teman ;)
yang terakhir saya ceritain ini namanya ricko, dia teman seangkatan adek saya waktu SMP. si ricko ini anaknya cuek banget, tapi dia rajin les, walopun ujan2 juga dia tetep datang, saya inget banget walopun celana jeansnya basah tetep aja ikut les. sampai selesai les dan sesudahnya, saya dan ricko masih sering berhubungan leat sms, kebetulan kakaknya ricko, si ricki, adalah adik tingkat saya di SMA, sampai saya kuliah dan ricko SMA pun, kami masih sering bertukar kabar. tahun lalu, ketika diajak masuk kelas bahasa inggris sm ibu guru saya tercinta, saya ketemu ricko lagi, senang rasanya, dulu terakhir ketemu teman2 saya ini masih kecil2, masih cupu dan lugu, hehe.. sekarang semuanya udah remaja mendekati dewasa. terakhir ricko menghubungi bercerita soal dilemanya masuk PTN atau Akpol, tetapi sekarang ricko ternyata sudah semester 2 di trisakti, aah.. time's going so fast ;)
sebenarnya masih banyak murid saya yang lain, tapi sejujurnya saya juga banyak lupa -_-
nah kebetulannya itu pas tadi pagi saya keingetan sama mereka, sekitar jam 10, ada satu friend request di fb, dan wow, surprise setelah lama ngga kedengeran kabarnya, ternyata itu si ricko, alhamdulilah, setidaknya ketemu dengan salah satud ari mereka di fb...
ah kangen berada di kelas itu, ngeliat muka2 polos, muka2 nggak ngerti, muka2 paham.. belajar bahasa inggris, belajar grammar, hafalan vocab, kelas conversation. it's soo yesterday.. udah 6 tahun lewat..

ehm.. oh iya.. now I am a Tutor, oh saya malu bilangnya.. makasih lah buat didi dan teh sendy yang percaya sama saya untuk menjadi tutor kelas global governance untuk 60 anak, dengan frekuensi bertemu 30 anak per minggu. saya merasa takut tidak cukup berkualitas untuk ini meskipun saya sempat loncat2 saat pertamakali ditawari, yaa! saya akan duduk di depan kelas lagi!. kata didi dan teh sendy saya bisa, dan inilah saya sekarang, saya berharap saya nggak cuma jadi fasilitator di kelas saja, I hope I can get along well with them :)

By learning you will teach;
by teaching you will understand.

A Long Letter for My Brother :)

February 2008

Dear my dearest brother...

Suddenly I want to write you, realizing that I forgot your birthday (the same day you left us). Isn’t it 25th january? I guess so. I dont want to ask it to mum, let us keep you in our each heart. I’m so sorry dear, 2 weeks too late. Honestly I want to forget that day, but not to forget you, you will always be my beloved baby.

I’m wondering how’s your day there brother (all the time I wish I had someone to be called by it :D). Seven years had been passed, I’m now growing up. I’ve been trying everything I could try, I played the game, I did sport, I read many books, I cooked everything I want, but I dont have any time to watch football on TV anymore and I’m not just listening to westlife anymore (ah westlife reminds me of ‘Soledad’, the song I used to sing at the time you were coming (and left us the same day)). Now I’m listening to anykind of musics and I’m interested in playing a music instrument, someday I wish I could sing a song for daddy with my new guitar, I’m sure He’d be so glad, as glad as when I passed many Sunday mornings jogging with him, as glad as when I accompanied him watching football match on TV in the middle of the night, and as glad as when He saw me and mba ian playing basketball and badminton in our houseyard :)

By the way brother, do you still remember kumir? He was little puppy when you came (at the same time you left), as the time goes by, kumir grew up to be a lovely puppy, my friends in secondary school loved him so, they even came and visited our home just to meet kumir. Oh dear, I forgot what I have to tell. You have to know that about two moths ago, kumir left us forever. Daddy said that he might suffer from diseases from aging. Poor kumir, I still remember my almost nine years time with kumir without you (oh cmon, why am I so sad, haha). Brother you do have to know that daddy is not the same old daddy ;). You might know that he used to love feeding many pets in his spare time. These seven years, we’ve ever had swans, rabbits, ducks, hens, cocks, many kinds of birds and even goats and cows, but now, only some left (chicken, hens, cocks, and birds). He said that it’s not easy to have many pets, espesially the big one (goats and cows), so tired to feed them. Hmm.. I remembered, one day, daddy was sick. All people in the house were mad because of worrying who will feed those goats and cows. And guess what? Daddy asked me to covered for his task, to bulk grasses for them. I actually was upset, I’m a girl and why did I have to do such task. Though I was mad, I finally went out with a mini lorry and mba ian too. Well, it was unpredictable fun dear, we walked from one to other farms, cutted the grasses then put them into our mini lorry :D

My dear brother, these seven years, daddy focused his efforts to our farms , we had a new rice field and new coffee farms, daddy was very happy when I accompanied him to the farms, looking at the workers worked. I loved to go there, there’s a short waterfall near our rice fields, and also a pretty river in front of it (I ever brought my friends there). The workers were also nice to me, they often gave me some wild fruit (like ‘buah pucung’). Now daddy plans to have a cocoa farms, let’s pray for him :)

Well how about mum? She’s now busier than ever with her office works. But she still cooks for us and still does the house works, she sleeps over 10 pm and wakes up at 3.30 am. Preparing meals for breakfast and luch. At 7 am, mum and dad go to work while mbak tri goes to school and mbak ian left home untill 1 pm and go to her campuss. Now mommy often works over hours dear, but she never forget to call me manytimes a day.

My dearest brother, some seconds ago, Mommy called me, she asked whether my thesis is ok because now I’m struggling for it. I hope I can be the one she wish in her every night prayers. Hey, brother, do you know what thesis is? Is there thesis in your world? Aah.. this thesis talking always makes me confuse, between nervous and scary so we better end it :D.

I’ll tell you about your second sister, mba ian. Have you known that she’s a stubborn headed girl? Hehe.. it’s describe her the most. Now she enrolles her study for 1 years in a computer sciences school in our hometown. This years she will continue to a university, she wants in Bandung or Jakarta while mum and dad want her to stay in Palembang or Bengkulu. What we are now worriest the most is that she doesnt really have a passion to learn (I’ve asked her manytimes). She said that she wanted to enrolled her study in Jakarta or Bandung because both of them are big city and it’s cool studying so far from our hometown. Oh dear, I ever felt tired. Tired of telling her everything, tired of listening to mommy’s complaints. I’ve been knowing mbak ian for her whole life (it’s about 20 years), but till now, I still dont understand her. Pray for me dear. Everyday I follow her growth and progress, giving many inputs (hope that it will work), she still has about 2 months to find her purpose in life and her passion, even desire to really learn something.

Well, how about mba tri? The youngest in our home now. She’s not a kid anymore dear. She has been growing up to be a cheerful girl, loved by her friends and also her teacher. In her first year in junior high school, she got some low marks at some lessons. At that time she played most of the time (went to timezone or just hung out with her friends). But now in her second years, she got the second champion in her class, first champion in her school history :D. We’re all happy for her, I’ll bought her a new bag as the prize next week.

Dear brother, I shouldnt wish you a happy birthday so is it a matter if I forgot? I wish not dear. By the way do you still remember sahid brother, our neighbour who was born in the same year as you? He’s now a chubby cute kiddo. Mommy loves him so, I guess sahid remains her of you dear. Well, now we have more causins, nephews and nieces. Fabian, Yoyo, Faikh, Rara, Ihsan, Ravvano, Mphi, Aqilla, si kembar, and kiki had come in these seven years.

My only one brother, last year I visited you with dad, mum, mba ian, and mba tri. Well it was like a family gathering. The sky was cloudy but we’re all came sincerely and solemny. This year I have to graduate brother, then I will be up to the real life. I want to make mum and dad happy. I want our big families (who never stop support me) proud of me. I still dont know what I will be. You know even since you were born (at the same day you left), I want to be a teacher. But now I surrender, let it flow dear. I’m just trying my best, wish me luck, love you :)

Hug and kisses.
Mba Wit

B.L.O.O.D but I Try to Learn

ini percakapan di YM beberapa bulan lalu, sehabis saya menonton fil Final Destination 3

...
RIZKA AMALIA: iya, aku td layarnya biru tiba2 trus restart sendiri
RIZKA AMALIA: ngeriiii
Wida Wulasari: ahaha, jangan teledor ca, bahayaa, nanti ky film tadi
RIZKA AMALIA: film tadi??
RIZKA AMALIA: oh iyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
RIZKA AMALIA: komputerku meldak tiba2 gitu ya..
RIZKA AMALIA: tenang Wid, di kamarku nggak ada benda2 tajam kok
Wida Wulasari: terus kebakar, kosannya roboh
Wida Wulasari: ahaha
RIZKA AMALIA: hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
RIZKA AMALIA: trus ada angin ke sukawening, trus sukaweing ikutan kena juga..
RIZKA AMALIA: hahahah
RIZKA AMALIA:
Wida Wulasari: hmm, film yg aneh
RIZKA AMALIA: hahahaaaa
RIZKA AMALIA: mari kita bungkus pisau, garpu, sendok, dan perlengkapan makan lainnya. termasuk yg dari kaca2, pring, mangkuk, dkk
RIZKA AMALIA: (kyk mau piknik)
Wida Wulasari: iya, bisi bisa jatuh sendiri
Wida Wulasari: pas tidur ketendang
RIZKA AMALIA: hahaha
RIZKA AMALIA: kipas anginku yg mungil tiba2 kipasnya copot
RIZKA AMALIA: trus kena kepala
RIZKA AMALIA: hahaha
Wida Wulasari: iyaa, ati2 makanya
RIZKA AMALIA: atau tiba2 lagi pose peace (dua jari di samping pipi) jarinya tiba2 nyasar ke mata. kecolok deh.
RIZKA AMALIA: hahaha
RIZKA AMALIA: bercanda wid..
...

well, itu sekilas percakapan kami.. yang mau saya ceritain bukan masalah film itu. kemarinsaya baru saja menonton film thriller berjudul Rumah Dara, sebelumnya, kamis lalu saya juga baru saja menonton film itu, hanya saja di sekitar menit ke 15 saya keluar bioskop, saya tidak tahan dengan darah2 di film itu. Iya saya chicken banget. saya takut darah, saya benci darah.. seumur hidup saya, saya tidak pernah menonton film yang macam2, sampai saya kuliah, saya masih menonton film2 keluarga dan kartun. Masuk ke dunia baru saya baru tahu ada film2 begitu, film yang bloody.
kenapa saya takut darah? sebenarnya tidak ada alasan khusus, saya selalu berpikir kalo ada bagian tubuh manusia yang terluka, pasti mengeluarkan darah, dan itu pasti sakit, saya jadi ikut ngerasain sakit ngeliatnya. saya takut sama darah yang keluar dari tubuh manusia, bahkan saya sering berpikir kalau darah itu terus keluar, si manusia bisa mati, saya takut..
saya sering berdoa sama Allah, semoga saya dijauhkan dari kecelakaan dan musibah yang berhubungan dengan darah, bahkan dengan orang2 yang berdarah, saya takut..
terimakasih Allah, sampai hari ini saya dihindarkan dari darah. dua tahun lalu, saya pernah memecahkan gelas secara tidak sengaja dan tangan saya sobek di bagian telapak tangan, saya menangis, saya takut, sakitnya jadi bukan di luka saya, tapi nyesek bikin saya sesak nafas, jadilah teman2 kosan saya telat ke kampus mengurusi luka saya. saya bahkan tidak punya keberanian untuk mengganti dan membuka perban di tangan saya, saya takut dan sakit melihat luka saya sendiri sehingga saya harus merepotkan mereka hingga luka saya benar2 kering.
setiap hari saya berpikir, kenapa saya takut, toh setiap jengkal bagian tubuh saya pasti mengandung darah, dan setiap bulan saya sebagai perempuan toh mengeluarkan darah juga..
setiap hari juga saya berpikir untuk belajar berani, saya benci sama ketakutan saya.. tiap kali ibu terluka, adik saya yang mengurusin sementara saya cuma bisa panik tutup mata. waktu telapak kaki bapak luka, lagi2 lian si adik saya yang ngurusin, saya juga pengen bisa ngerawat orang yang luka, tapi saya masih takut..
nonton final destination dan rumah dara (sebelumnya saya juga pernah menonton 'wanted' yang juga bloody) ini adalah salah satu bentuk usaha saya karena nggak selamanya saya yang minta diurusin orang, suatu saat nanti, saya yang akan mengurus orang lain (ibu, bapak, adek2, atau bahkan anak saya nanti :D).
sekarang saya memang belum sepenuhnya berani sama yang namanya darah, tapi kemajuan besar saya berani menonton film yang bloody, walaupun banyakan tutup matanya.
Minggu lalu, jempol saya terluka ketika saya lagi mandi, berdarah, sakit, tapi saya nggak bisa minta tolong orang lain, saya siram air, makin sakit, apalagi waktu ngeliat darah yang terus keluar, saya nggak tahan untuk nggak menangis walaupun akhirnya saya bisa mengatasi itu sendiri, saya buru2 mandi ngasal, kemudian membalut jempol kiri saya yang luka dengan baju hitam saya. di kamar, saya langsung menutup si luka dengan plester. lhamdulilah.. saya sangat bersyukur atas kejadian itu. detik saya mengetik ini, saya bertekad lebih bulat lagi bahwa saya akan berusaha berani menghadapi apa pun yang berhubungan dengan darah, kalau saya pulang nanti dan tangan ibu saya luka, saya mau saya yang merawatnya, ah terlalu muluk ya.. saya mau nanti kalau saya terluka lagi, saya tidak takut untuk membersihkan dan merawat luka saya, amiiinn...

KKN Part 1 (We Create Our Friendship)

While writting this, I couldn’t stop thinking bout you all, my crazy besties ever :)

Well, for the first time I knew that I was located in an unknown village in Garut, Desa Cikelet for KKNM (Kuliah Kerja Nyata Mahasiswa) Unpad, my feeling was mingled. In a side, I was really excited but in other side I was worry. The thing I worried the most was ‘My Partner’ there. I’d be spending whole 37 days with them while I didn’t know even one of them so well. We came from different major and all we had to do that time just finding out each other. Ok, we were nine living in a home, 2 boys and 7 girls, we’ve survived so well finally.
I almost got mad when it came a lilttle bit hard to get along with them all, morover I’m not really good dealing with new people.it became easier when we started talking each other, smiling, and laughing at the same thing. I began to know you all and it was really fun knowing that there were so many kinds of people in our home. The one that mad us one is “we need each other”
By the way the most impressed thing there, is that I feel like I have new sisters and espesially new brothers. In my real home, I just live with two younger sisters, so being with you I could feel a different atmosphere. Living 37 days with same average age girls, nNa, Obi, Unge, Ninit, Lala, and Indri, mad me feel a lil bit peculiar. I used to be the one who lead my two sisters in my home, I used to do everything firstly and supposed tobe perfectly too, but there, in ‘our home’, we have the same right, the same duty, the same position, and others same things. I also don’t have brothers in my home, then, it kinda weird living with Jacko and Indra (those two guys name), haha... but finally we could get along and I tought that Wow! this might be the feeling of people who had brothers in their home :D
Hoahm, what am I talking ‘bout... I actually want to tell you:
1. I miss you all (really from the bottom of my heart :D)
2. I love you all (that what’s friends supposed to do)
3. Thank you for being my best partner (I couldn’t do anything without you)
4. Thank you for caring me when I was sick (I feel like I was really in my ‘home’ when you give me more affection and attention, I was really touched)
5. We’ll still be friends forever, will we? (so just call me when you need someone to share with, someone to cook something for you, someone to massage you if you are tired, I love to do that for you :D)
6. Zzz...zz..zz.. I am sleepy, it’s already 12 a.m

Cerita sedih ato lucu? Terserah anda...

aku dan Lian ^_^

aku dan adek :)

Ini adalah cerita tentang saudara-saudara kandung saya yang jumlahnya dua. Saudara pertama, sekarang usianya 18 tahun, namanya Wida Williannita, kalo saya manggilnya Lian, tapi adek saya yang paling kecil manggilnya mbak ian. Saudara kedua saya, umurnya baru 13 tahun, namanya Wida Tri Septia, tapi panggilannya Adek (ngga nyambung ya? Emang, hehe.. adek itu karena dia yang paling kecil diantara semua wida).

Saya dan lian hanya berbeda dua tahun, mungkin karena inilah saya dari dulu banyakan berantemnya sama dia, hehe... untungnya setelah saya SMA, kami jadi lebih berdamai, apalagi sekarang, saya merasa lebih dekat dnegan si Lian. Ketika adek lahir, saya dan adek menjadi sekutu. Waktu itu si Lian mungkin merasa kesal karena ngga jadi anak bungsu sehingga ga begitu deket sama Adek. Hingga adek masuk sekolah dasar, kami makin menjadi sekutu yang solid melawan Lian kalo berantem, hehe.. sampe saat ini pun masih begitu ;)

Waktu saya kuliah, saya masih inget, Adek selalu nelpon dan bilang “Mbak wit, kalo mba wit kuliah, adek nanya PR sm siapa? Adek tidur sm siapa?” terus saya jawab “kan ada mbak ian”, tapi adek saya malah misuh-misuh,”Adek males nanya sm mbak ian, pasti diomelin, adek males tidur sm mbak ian, kamar mbak ian berantakan”. Begitulah, awalnya si Adek ga ikhlas saya kuliah jauh, tapi lama-lama, dia mulai terbiasa.

Baru-baru ini, Lian selesai Ujian Nasional. Mulailah kami membicarakan perihal masa depannya (ciehh, hueks). Tadinya Bapak maunya Lian jangan kuliah jauh-jauh, cukup yang ada di dalam kotaku saja (sebenarnya bapak ga mau pisah sama anaknya yang satu ini, hehe), tapi kata ibu ngga adil, aku kuliah di luar kota tapi Lian engga, pas ditanya ke Lian, dia bilang maunya kuliah di Universitas Negeri di Jakarta, yasudahlah... kami mulai memikirkan tempat Lian bimbingan belajar. Tadinya mau di Bandung, karena di sini ada aku, tapi Lian sendiri bilang kalo di Bandung dia agak susah konsentrasi belajar. Akhirnya diputuskan dia bimbingan belajar di GO Palembang saja. Lian berangkat dianterin Bapak karena Ibu ga bisa bolos kerja. Saya ngga kebayang, dua orang yang ribuuut mulu kerjaanya bisa berangkat bareng ke PLG. Lian ini dari kecil emang agak lebih aktif dari saya, jadinya ampe bosen diomongin sm Bapak. Kalo saya suka lari pagi hari minggu sama Bapak, lian ngga mau ikut, kalo saya nuruut banget sm Bapak, lian ini lebih suka nurutin maunya dia sendiri. Jadilah ini momen yang sangat bersejarah, dua anak dan bapak harus lebih bersahabat, hehehe...

Sampai disini, ngga ada masalah buat saya hingga di hari ke-3 keberangkatan Lian dan Bapak ke Palembang, Ibu nelpon saya dan ngabarin kalo si Adek sakit, badannya demam. Saya belum kepikiran apa-apa, Adek emang sering sakit, apalagi kalo habis renang, pasti badannya panas. Lucunya, pas sorenya Ibu bawa Adek berobat ke Dokter, pulangnya Adek bilang gini “Ibu, kok Adek sakit ya.. apa gara2 ditinggal Mbak Ian sama Bapak ya, mungkin Adek kangen ya bu...”. hemmm ternyataa.. baru ditinggal 3 hari udah sakit, kalo di rumah aja ga akur..

Sampe disini, saya juga masih biasa-biasa saja, nanti juga lama-lama Adek biasa. Besok paginya Lian nelpon saya dan nyeritain kejadian yang jadi bikin saya sedih. Ceritanya pagi itu Ibu udah bangun, bapak masih di Palembang. Ibu seperti biasa, nyiapin sarapan, beres-beres rumah sebelum ngantor. Pas ibu lagi beresin kamarnya Lian, si Adek bangun dari kamar Ibu, keluar, terus langsung ke kamar Lian, “Ibu Mbak Ian mana? Udah bangun belum?”. Ibu langsung senyum “Adek, Mbak Ian kan sekarang bimbel di Palembang”. Si adek langsung jawab “Oh, Adek lupa...”. terus Adek langsung jalan ke sofa depan, tiduran lagi sendirian di sana (padahal ya, Adek ini penakut banget, mana berani dia ke subuh2 tidur sendirian di depan). Beberapa puluh menit kemudian Adek bangun, siap-siap berangkat ke sekolah, pas ditanyain sama Ibu, dia udah lupa, jangan-jangan yang tadi itu ngigo...

Saya pengen ketwa kalo inget cerita ini, tapi sedih juga. Di rumah saya Cuma ada lima orang, ibu, bapak, sama tiga wida, sekarang dua wida udah ga di rumah lagi, Adek jadi anak tunggal di rumah. Saya kasian sama dia, dia tidur sama siapa, dia nanya PR sama siapa, siapa yang ngingetin dia kalo kebanyakan main, pokoknya I’m worrying her so much... Adek ini biasanya pulang sekolah udah ada lian yang nemenin di rumah, jadwal pulang sekolahnya bareng, sekarang, dia harus nunggu 1 jam lebih sampe Ibu pulang untuk bisa masuk rumah (soalnya dia takut kalo sendirian di dalem rumah).

Sekarang setiap malam saya punya aktivitas baru, sms-an sama Adek, dia suka nanya-nanya PR lewat sms, kasian sekali jadi anak bungsu, harus ditinggalin sama kakak2nya...

Selain Adek, Ibu juga sekarang pasti jadi lebih repot. Di rumah saya ngga ada pembantu, kami udah biasa dari kecil bagi-bagi tugas, kata Ibu saya, malu kalo punya tiga anak gadis tapi rumah sendiri ngga keurus. Biasanya setelah saya kuliah, pekerjaan bersih-bersih dalam rumah itu jatahnya lian, sedangkah halaman rumah itu kerjaan adek sm bapak (halaman rumah saya depan belakang luas banget, banyak pohon2 dan tanaman2, kebayang kan gimana repotnya ngurusinnya). Selain itu di rumah saya ada dua anjing (namanya kumir semua, kabarnya sekarang tiga, ada anak baru kayanya...) yang harus diurusin juga, kandangnya kumir 1 dan kumir 2 ini di luar rumah, jadi sehari dua kali kita mesti keluar ngasih makan mereka, tiap sore harus ngelepasin rantainya (biar mereka bisa jalan2 juga), terus malem dirantai lagi di rumahnya, kebayang kan repotnya... dulu aku sama Lian biasanya bagi satu2, setelah aku kuliah, yah kadang-kadang Lian semua, tapi kalo dia males, Ibu juga ujung-ujungnya.. sekarang, setelah aku sama Lian ga di rumah, semuaa kerjaan rumah jadi pindah ke Ibu. Padahal ibu pagi-pagi, jam 07.15 udah harus apel terus jam 2 paling cepet sampe di rumah... aku kebayang capeknya (walopun Ibu ngga pernah ngeluh capek, hikshiks...)

Intinyaa... I MISS MY HOME, tapi harus nunggu waktu yang tepat buat pulang, lebaran nanti...

apa yang kau pikirkan tentang hujan?

apa yang kau pikirkan tentang hujan?
aku teringat pintu yang terkunci rapat dan segelas susu hangat
apa yang kau pikirkan tentang hujan?
aku bisa melihat katak-katak tepat di bawah riaknya
apa yang kau pikirkan tentang hujan?
aku mengingathampir enam tahun yang lewat

aku hari ini melihat hujan
tepat saat pertama dan terakhirkalinya aku memelukmu diam
aku bahkan lupa apa aku benar merasakan denyut nadimu waktu itu
apa yang kau ingat tentang hujan?
aku melihat satu-satunya mendung di wajah bapak
dan dalam doa-doa pasrah ibu

apa yang kau pikirkan tentang hujan?
mungkin kau yang seharusnya sedang meminta bola
membuka pintu lebar dan menolak segelas susu hangat
lalu aku jelas melihat dalam hujan
kau yang berlari tepat dibawah tetesannya

saat ini hujan...
dan bodohnya aku ingin sekali bertemu
tidak peduli hujan
aku ingin menyimpan kembali potret wajah yang mulai buram

jika hujan
aku ingin kita bercerita di bawahnya
berbagi banyak hal
tentang aku yang keras kepala
tentang lian bahkan lebih dewasa dariku
tentang adek yang mulai remaja..
aku ingin kau tahu semuanya

apa yang kau pikirkan tentang hujan?
bagiku hanyalah alunan melodrama kesedihan yang biasa


jatinangor,
awal november yang penuh hujan
just 4 my only one brother
when will we meet again God?

WANTED, What a Terrible Nite!!

tadi malam adalah malam yangagak kurang menyenangkan buat saya, harus menonton film dengan sensorminim sekali, bukan masalah sensor pornografi dan pornoaksi, tapi sensor kekerasan, ada SANGAT BANYAK DARAH di film yang saya tonton, WANTED, film yang dibintangi Angelina Jolie dan menurut temen2 saya sangat bagus..
Geeky! how many times have I screamedout and closed my eyes??? ga keitung..
bagaimana bisa mereka semudah itu menampilkan tayangan yang membuat kekebalan manusia terhapap kekerasan berkurang??

jadi inget, 4 tahun yang lalu, aku pernah buat karya ilmiah tentang AVIDS (Acquired violence deficiency syndromme). ini adalah sindrom yang memang udah banyak diidap manusia. sindrom kelemahan kekebalan terhadap kekerasan. penyebabnya banyak, tayangan kekerasan di TV, di Game atau dari bahan bacaan..
simplenya begini, dulu kita merasa sangat tersentuh dan tidak tega ketika melihat ada orang dibunuh di berita TV, tetapi kita menjadi terbiasa seiring dengan menjamurnya berita-berita kekerasan dan kriminal yang cukup vulgar di TV, bahkan orang-orang bisa dengan tenangnya menonton semua degan di WANTED yang penuh dengan kepala pecah dan darah...
aku udah bertekad ga akan nonton film sejenis SAW, JIGSAW atau apapun sejenis itu, tapi akhirnya nonton jg film yg kaya gitu...
keluar bioskop lemes..

kembali ke AVIDS, sindrom ini dikemukakan pertama kali oleh Col. David Grossman, profesor di sebuah angkatan bersenjata di AS, aku bener2 setuju sama Grossman, bahwa mungkin di masa yang akan datang, kita akan terbiasa melihat pembunuhan di depan mata kita..

WANTED mungkin hanya film, tapi itu adalah perkataan orang yang sudah tidak lagi kebal terhadap kekerasan...

oiya, ini link sitenya Grossman, kali aja ada yang tertarik http://www.killology.com/

bdw Happy B'Day buat Ricco..
Makasih banyak traktiran nontonnya^^

dari heather marks menuju luka

Berita bagus,, hehe,, setidaknya buat aku sendiri..
kata Briantoro alias mas anto aku mirip sama Heather Marks^^
banyak kalangan menilai penilaian ini sebagai fitnah, WkkkK..
tapi setralah kalian..
kalo ga tau heather marks itu yg mana, cari aja sendiri y..

berita buruknya..
udah hampir seminggu ini tangan kananku terganggu..
pagi2 waktu mau cuci gelas, ternyata itu gelas udah retak, gelasnya pecah, tanganku ketusuk pecahan kacanya, dramatis sekali bukan?
aku luka di dua tangan sekaligus, kanan dan kiri, lebih menyedihkan lagi waktu aku tambahin nangis2 segala..

itu pagi sepi, untungnya anak2 keperawatan belum berangkat kuliah, makasih buat ari sama pu2t yaa..
kalo ga ada kalian aku udah pingsan sendirian^^

abis itu, aku mandi ala kadarnya dengan tangan diperban dan darah yg masih meluap (lebaay...)
mw ganti perban sendiri abis itu, tapi takut, so let clara do it!
makasih y claraa.. telah menggant perbanku..

duh, mulai ga enak nih tanganku masih agak pegel buat ngetik..
jadi ntar2 aja deh ya ceritanya...

Mereka dilempar ke jalan...

ini cerita buat ngingetin orang-orang kalo David Grossman emang bener banget, manusia di bumi ini udah kehilangan keperkaannya, udah ga punya perasaan..

ini pengalaman di bus sepulangnya aku sama dina ke alun2, waktu itu bandung lagi gerimis, udah sore, jadi beredarlah gosip kalo itu damri terakhir, waktu sampai di depan gedung sate, damri berhenti, walopun udah sesek, tetep aja banyak yang naik, salah duanya adalah anak kecil lusuh dan kotor. anak pertama usianya sekitar 7 tahun, yang kedua seperti adiknya dan berusia 5 tahunan (prediksi orang biasa seperti saya^^)
dilihat dari penampilannya, jelas mereka bukan penumpang seperti kami, tapi bukan juga mau ngamen, karena bus terlalu penuh waktu itu, aku duduk di depan pintu banget...
anak kecil itu berdiri tepat di pintu, aduuh.. aku aja serem ngeliatnya, kalo jatuh gimana...
seorang bapak yang deket sana, kelihatannya peduli, berdiri di depan mereka, supaya mereka ga jatoh, anak kecil itu badannya bener2 kecil, bajunya basah, kotor lagi.. mereka bilang mau numpang ampe manaaaa gitu, lupa aku...

terus terang, siapapun akan terganggu sama adanya dua anak kecil yang berdiri di depan pintu, yang ngeliat yang jadi was-was.. tapi aku nggak berpikir ada orang yang tega mengangkat tengkuk anak kecil tertua dan menurunkannya di tengah jalan, tepat waktu jalanan lagi macet, aku bahkan tidak tahu apa nama tempat itu, di daerah mana juga nggak tahu..

tapi di dunia ini ada yang seperti itu, bapak kenek damri itu bener2 nggak berperasaan, dia menurunkan dua anak polos tak bersendal itu, di tengah jalan, di waktu hujan..

iya kalo anak itu tahu jalan pulang, kalo nggak, gimana???
dan cara dia nurunin anak itu bener2 nggak manusiawi, di ngangkat tengkuk anak itu trus dilemparin aja ke jalan..
anak tertua langsung menuntun dan merangkul adiknya yang masih terlalu kecil untuk tahu mengapa mereka diturunkan secara paksa...
sang kakak dengan hati-hati berjalan ke pinggir jalan, terus berjalan bersama si adik, lama-lama, pemandangan itu hilang bersamaan dengan laju damri, diiringi puluhan mata iba penumpang, termasuk saya yang sama sekali tidak berbuat apa-apa...

kalo emang bus udah terlalu penuh sampai2 nggak bisa menampung dua anak kecil itu, kenapa setelah itu justru lebih banyak penumpang yang naik???

apa mereka bukan manusia???
tepatnya apa bapak kenek itu nggak punya anak???

suatu saat, walaupun tidak saat ini, mungkin nanti...
saya pengen jadi orang yang bisa berguna...
amiin...

Write anyhing 4 my beloved fam^^

Kalo kamu disuruh nulis tentang keluarga kamu gimana ya???apa yang ada dipikiran kamu???
Kalo saya gini..

Buat Ibu
Ibu, aduh, susah nulis, mendingan ngomong langsung sama ibu, ga da habisnya.. ibu makasih banget selalu ngasih dukungan buat aku, biar aku bisa berkembang. Ibu juga keren banget rela ngelepasin anak emasnya (lian sm adek pasti ngamuk kalo baca^^) kuliah di jatinangor yang semrawut ini. Ibu juga pendengar yang baik banget, ga pernah bosen dengerin aku cerita, selalu hafal nama temen2 aku, walopun ibu belum pernah ketemu mereka, Cuma dari cerita aku ibu bisa hafal...
Ibu juga setiap subuh udah bangun, sebelum ke kantor pasti nyiapin makan buat kita, waktu kita melek, makanan udah siap di meja, hiks... aku tau buat ibu kita ini yang utama...

Buat Bapak
Walopun bapak kalo ngomong kayak marah mulu, tapi aku suka ngobrol sama bapak, walopun ngobrol kaku, tapi aku masih sering ikut jogging bareng bapak pagi minggu, oiya aku sebel banget waktu kita lari ampe Suban Air Panas, bapak sengaja bawa ransel militer itu, terus sku yang disuruh mikul, berat banget tau pak! Tapi itulah bapak, he wants me to be a big girl!
Terus aku juga suka dengerin bapak cerita masa2 bapak dulu, walopun kadang2 udah ga relevan lagi, tapi aku suka. Oiya aku juga seneng banget kalo malem bapak ngasih tau aku kalo ada bola di TV, apalagi kalo ditemenin nontonnya, hehe... oiya maaf pak kalo aku ga suka diajakin nonton wayang, lian aja tuh, dia kan suka nonton wayang^^
Oiya, aku juga terharu waktu bapak dengan setianya nungguin aku liat2 buku di gramed palembang, padahal itu lama banget, maklum ya pak, kan kita nggak bisa tiap hari ke gramed...
Oiya pak, doain aja aku bisa jadi diplomat, aku emang menolak untuk jadi orang2 militer atau kesehatan seperti yang bapak mau, tapi itu karena aku juga punya cita-cita, kalo aku ga bisa jadi guru, ya sudahlah, mungkin jadi diplomat juga cool kan pak??

Buat lian..
Sekarang lian lagi sakit, tadi pagi nelepon, sakit apa de?? Magh.. ya.. pasti sakit maghles, hehe... piss!
Kamu sekarang udah SMA, udah gede, badan kamu juga mulai menyamai tinggi mbak.. walopun kamu di rumah yang paling beda, yang paling keras kepala, yang paling suka membangkang, tapi mbak tau kadang2 pemikiran kamu justru jauh lebih dewasa daripada mbakmu ini. Aku juga tau kalo kamu sebenernya anak baik, walopun dulu kamu sering baca buku pelajaran yang di dalemnya ada komik, tapi mbak yakin banget, sekarang kamu udah berubah, oiya, kemaren kan kamu bisa dapet juara kedua ya, hebat kamu! Dulu, masa2 sekolah adalah masa mbak berjaya, kamu tidak perlu seperti itu, seperti kata bapak, kamu pasti bunya bakat yang aku nggak punya...aku tau kamu pasti sering ngerasa tertekan waktu orang banding2in kita, padahal orang itu ga tau apa2, aku tau kamu orang yang pintar, punya mimpi, buktinya, kamu bisa lompat harimau, kayang, sit up, sementara aku harus remedial beberapa kali dulu baru lulus mata pelajaran itu

Buat adek..
Adek... mbak wit kangen sama adek... kamu anak manja, mentang2 bungsu, kamu suka seenaknya, tapi aku sayaaang banget sama adek, kalo ngomong sama adek di telepon rasanya sejuuk banget. Adek masih polos sih, hehe... bentar lagi adek tamat SD, waah, nanti kalo mbak wit pulang adek udah pake seragam SMP...
Adek jangan males belajar lagi ya.. terus baik2 sama mbak ian, dulu, kita emang selalu bersekutu ngelawan mbak ian, tapi sekarang udah ga boleh lagi de, mbak udah insaf, hehe.. oiya adek makan yang banyak ya, biar ndut2 juga, WkkkKk,,,

Saya berdoa mereka semua sehat2 aja, selalu bahagia n yang pasti selalu menyayangi saya (^_^) V

how I spend last weekend

Minggu kemaren, seharian aku habiskan di bandung, niatnya pengen nemenin nita ke BEC sama ikutan talkshow raditya dika di gramed, eh taunya talkshownya ga jadi, yaaa... nunggu deh ampe bulan depan...
oiya waktu di bus, aku duduk sampingan sama bapak2 yg bawa anak cowo umurnya sekitar 5 tahunlah..
bus itu bener2 sesek, aku aja yg udah gede kepanasan, apalagi anak kecil itu.. dia pake jaket kulit yang kalo ngeliatnya waktu itu aja udah bikin sesek.
akan itu mulai ngerengek2.. pokoknya mulai rewel deh, keringetnya udah ngucur di dahi, kesian banget..
si bapak cuma nyuruh diem, trus ngancem gini "Diem ga, kalo ga diem kita balik lagi aja ya.. ga jadi pergi..."
kasihan..
aku pengen bilang sama si bapak biar jaket anaknya dibukain, tapi saya ini pengecut, hghhgh.. ga berani.. si bapak itu kynya kesel juga sama anaknya, trus siapa gue gitu loh, ngajarin orang tua..
akhirnya sampai di depan IBCC mereka turun, aku cuma bisa diem...

aniway... kemaren itu bandung bener2 full of rain, jadinya untuk beberapa waktu kita terjebak di gramed, ngeliatin buku2 diskon.
kemaren itu yang lagi diskon novel2 setipe J.R.R.Tolkien sm John Grisham, asli luar semua, masih dalam bahasa inggris dengan harga yang sangat murah sekali 12 ribu saja..
aku langsung aja liat2, benar2 makanan enak, hehe..
sebenernya nyari novel sidney sheldon, tapi ga ketemu, malah banyak yang aku ga tau pengarangnya... huhu baru kerasa kalo saya ini belum apa2 dalam baca membaca novel..
setelah lieur saya ngeliat juga buku John Grisham, lupa judulnya apa. trus aku baca, asik sih, bahasanya juga simpel, bisa dipahami, tapiii...
Big no!! saya udah harus belajar menghentikan kebiasaan wasting time reading a book tat has no relation to my major, hiks,
kedengarannya tragis, tapi... harus bisa.. prioritas, hughhh..

tapi aku masih liat2, soalnya asik sih..
trus aku nemu Lord of The Ring yang pertama, versi asli..
hampir aja aku tergoda beli..
trus inget, dulu aku pernah pinjem punya K Revo, yang bahasa indonesia, tapi susah ngertinya, apalagi yg english, hehe..
akhirnya ga jadi beli2 deh..

abis itu ke BIP, keliling2 ga jelas, tapi ga nemu apa2..
trus pulang deh...