Ah, I can't believe that I need very long time to continue my previous story. Well, today, I finally got my official contract for my new status, Junior 2 Teacher, after the class observations, workshop, submitting lesson plans, etc, in the end I did quite well :p
About the messy mushroom class during the observation, I kept thinking about it, after that, I couldn't face my principal directly, I was afraid and had a feeling that she must have thought that I was incapable as a teacher. It affected my mood in the class, after that class, we still had several meetings before the project and progress tests, so every time I saw my students, it's not that I hate them, but as normal human I had a thought like, "ah.. I could have done better if only you had cooperated well that day". I acted normally but inside my heart, I felt worried. The result of the observation was still unknown but I presumed myself. My spirit eventually went down in handling that class. I was nervous of bad result possibility.
One day after that D-day, I came to that class wearing brand new shoes, they're brown almost red, and I could admit that they're my most girly shoes with even ribbons on them. My kids didn't say anything but they looked at mine obviously, their pride was just too high to ask whether I wore new shoes.
During the class activities, a kiddo came to me and asked question, but instead of normally standing in front of me, he stocked his plump body to my legs, since he wasn't doing it for whiny purpose, I let it be. While I was answering his question, he lost his balance and stepped on my shoes, and as soon as that happen, he swapped the ribbon on my right shoes with his big crocs sandals until the ribbon stocked out and fell on the floor, I was shocked, widened my eyes, looked at the crocodile that had eaten my clueless new shoes. I could have been angry, but then I controlled my self, ok I was sure he would apologize, I knew he's not a bad kid.
Surprisingly more shocked than me, the kiddo looked scared and he left me speechless with his excuse. Rather than saying sorry, he said senseless words, "Ms, is this your new shoe? that's whyyy, I actually want to tell you, don't buy ABAL-ABAL shoes, this is cheap but bad, look now it's broken, buy crocs like me, this is good shoes". Normally I would stop him and remind him about Indonesian word he said, "abal-abal", but that time, my head burned, this crocs monster, how could he say such things. I was thinking of a counter attack when he said another defended words, "your shoes are abal-abal ms, my MOM said good shoes are crocs...". After his last excuse, my head cooled down, I really wanted to meet his mum that time. I was angry to him, but I felt that his mum should take the blame for the not-sorry kiddo.
After that, my spirit suppressed dramatically there. the next meeting, it was around three meetings left before we finished the level. I came to the class promising my self to forget all the traumatic things happened there.
As soon as I got in, several kids were busy writing and drawing, then, a chubby girl came to me and said, "Next level, you're still with us, right?", I just put on a smile. "I like you, This is for you from us, please keep this". I was curious but then sentimentally smiled looking at the note she gave me. Ah how I could ignore those kids. They made mistake by adding 'are' before love, but I didn't mind at all, and what's with 'from the children', so cheesy, hehe.
Well, about the observation result, I was kinda taken aback when the principal said good thing about my teaching procedures, "It must be hard on you, teaching kids, they don't calculate our feelings like adult, they do things recklessly, but I really like the way you coped with them, the way you personally handle them, bear in your mind that you have the patience as the key to teaching kids, keep it up....". I was blanked, the principal said all good things about the way I treated the students, in fact she criticized only the technical thing, "during the pair work, you made a student ask and the pair answer, it was actually good, but it would be much better if they didn't do it only that way, they need to exchange their role to add the exposure to the language....". So the feedback session was almost all about technical thing, mushroom class attitude that time didn't influence any of my credits. And, see now, I've pass another step, now I'm a Junior 2 teacher, the mushroom class is currently being taught by another teacher, let them experience, reflect, and learn. I'm thankful to them for giving me unexpected experience and good time.
