11 Years

It's another January, which means another year has just passed. it's been 11 years. 

I learned that 11 is the time to understand the world and start to feel things. There are a lot of things I wish I could tell you. Well,I would definitely want to tell you later.

11 is also the time I start to forget, which makes me afraid that I will not remember that you were once here with us. I want to always remember you even until I get old, please let me at least do that

Another January means another happy birthday to you!

This year, I don't know how I manage to find another related song again, I've been watching this video these days and it feels heartbreaking so this might somehow tell how we feel, no? :)

Good Things Happen in Every December

It's 2013 already, relief for those who believed in Mayan's doomsday and I wish everyone a happy new year sincerely :)

I'm painting another pattern as a reminder of what have just happened these days. This was too beautiful to be ignored and to be abandoned.

December has always been my month. It's the last month of the year, a month when people usually reflect on what have happened during the year, as for me, I started breathing on the eleventh day of this month around 24 years ago. 

When I left home, I don't get the chance to commemorate my birthday with my family, I've had it with friends around me. Last year was bitter at first, I was going to spend the night waiting for my day thinking, but I ended up being lectured by my close friend's boyfriend instead, being reprimanded, and being criticized about how I should have acted toward his girlfriend which is my close friend. How bittersweet it was in the beginning, it eventually ended with a sparkling birth month when I could spent the end of the month having holiday at home.

I didn't expect much for my latest birthday, I learned a lot. Who knows that Murphy's law really worked. When I didn't hope for anything, I got more that anything I had ever had in my entire birthday.

At the midnight, I got a surprise birthday cake from my dorm friend and her sister. I made a wish right in front of the burning candles. I slept with spreaded birthday wishes around my phone messages, blackberry messenger, facebook, twitter, and even e-mail. In the morning, I got calls from home and my sister.I was so blessed.

At the midday, I went to work normally, got congratulated by the staffs at my office, and got around almost 5 hours until I had my first class that day. At around 2 pm, while I was busy with my lessons plan, I saw some silhouettes behind the glass wall in front of my desk, then two heads popped out from the door whispered, "ms, ms. wida, happy birthday to you!", when I saw that, I stood up and opened my arms widely so those two kids, Nathania and Jocelyn could reach me, I thanked them, then, Nia gave me her cheek, I kissed my student for the first time there, she was too cute to be ignored. Then, they continued whispering, "you know, we said to mr. Ricko we go to the toilet to pee, but we go here, please don't tell, hihihi...". I smiled brightly. I used to teach them but then, following the rule, the teacher was changed every new term.

Not long after they left, I suddenly had a student came to have school lessons (for catching up the lesson they're lacking at school). I had stayed there for around 30 minutes when Nathania and Cleo, another student from her class knocked on my door to say, "ms, we've got surprise for you, please open a yellow folder on your desk, ok! don't forget!". Later I found out that they made birthday cards for me, it was also thanks to their homeroom teacher, mr. ricko who gave them extra time to put their effort on those cards.

At around 3 pm. I sat back at the office to continue my teaching preparation. When I was about to start, I got a call from the receptionist, she told me that I got a package, I just laughed and told them to stop tricking me, I was so sure they tricked me because I didn't buy anything online that time, but they kept ensuring me, and even said that it was delivered from Bandung, I laughed louder and started enjoying the trick, until they said, "ini paketnya dari bramantyo ardi wardhana", what??, since when did they know my friend's name?. Still unsure, instead of walking down the stairs, I asked the office boy to get it for me if it were real. When the delivery arrived in front of my eyes, I was overly surprised and when I saw it real, I was so happy that I could cry, I didn't ever dream of that kind of surprise package would come from anyone, and even from Bamby, who I self-proclaimed as my brother, well, now I even think that he might be my former brother's long legs, hehe. Thankyouu Bambinoo!

When I finally had my first class that day, my students welcomed me with very warm birthday greetings. That class soon ended, but before I dismissed it, a teenage girl stopped me and asked me to wait then rushed to the downstairs. My heart raced thinking about what would happen. She came back fast bringing a well-packaged birthday gift that she had prepared and had entrusted to the receptionist until she gave it. It was a black bag, that class absolutely know how I was a fan of black. I felt blessed even more thinking about the thought she gave while preparing that gift.

I finally finished working with a super happy feeling then reached home to get another surprise from my best friends that came to my room with another cake and present. I slept peacefully by the feeling of being loved that night.

The next day, I got another class which means I was spreaded with a lot of wishes again. I even got another special gift, why was it special? because it won't be given by just any random student. It was a package of black nail polish and nail pack. Long ago, one of my student complimented my pink nail polish, she also said that I would be better trying black polish for my nails. I told her I wanted to, but somehow I don't feel confident and some friends of mine suggested that I wear bright nail polish to be girly. When she gave that gift, she told me to wear it and be confident because she knew how I liked black and also the nail pack is the part of nail care that she hoped I wouldn't mind making my nails brightened as well when I'm without nail polish, how lovely :')

I had my 24th birthday on 11th December, but I will never forget the 12th as well, A day after my birthday, while I was teaching a night class, I got a surprise from my old students who gathered to come for my birthday, it was DAEBAK! I'll definitely tell about them in my next post.

Well, whenever I introduce myself to new students, I'd say that I'm 17, then after they put their suspicious face, I'll add, 17 plus 6, but now, I guess I must be used to telling them that I'm 17 plus 7. 

A new age, and a new year, I'm also thinking of some aims, but I know how God listens to my prayer so let it be. What's so obvious, I think I've changed, of course, everyone changes, if we don't hurt people or getting hurt by people, we wont change, if we don't change, we won't move forward. If I were a machine, I would always be in repaired. Things that happened and people surround me make me who I am, I want to be developed, I want to be better together with them.

My Father and Me

The relationship between me and my father is difficult to define. So far that I know, we're very close because I've always done everything he asked me to do. I did well at school. I didn't make friends with those who my father thought would harm me. I've always stayed at home playing snake and ladder, monopoly, scrabble, or lego after school since he told me that our neighborhood environment wasn't good. I've always slept in the afternoon exactly from 2 until 4, I had never gone to school before I finished my breakfast. I had never had my lunch before I fixed my shoes and uniforms on the right place. I remember that I never intentionally disappointed him except when I skipped one of my afternoon sleeping time and escaped from the windows to play with my friends, I do regret it.

I know we're very close because I've always been there for him. In the morning, I would be the one who was ready to join my father's morning exercise, running. I remember it was always still dark, my sisters would still be covered by their thick blanket while me, ready to fight with the morning breeze. Sometimes I wonder, why did I want to do that? If I didn't want to, I could just say no, but the fact that I did it, maybe it was also part of my unconditional love toward my father.

He would run so fast and leave me behind then I would be scared of being alone in the dark so I would try my best to chase him. Sometimes my father would trick me, give me his heavy bag and said that he needed to fix his shoelaces. when the bag was in my hands, he would run again, and I'd hardly try to chase him with that heavy bag.

That was happened eight or ten years ago. As the time goes by, We barely have time to do those things. My father is loosening his strict rules toward me. During my high school  I could go wherever I wanted to go, I could get home late in the night. To get those kind of freedom crept me out too. I asked my mother why he always permitted me doing everything, and my mom's answer made me speechless, "your father knows how stubborn you are, even though he says, no, you won't listen, you'll still do things you like, so tactfully he always says, yes". I wonder if I was really that stubborn, but thanks father for putting your trust on me that time.

Nowadays, I barely talk to my father. He isn't a text man, neither do I. He's not so keen on talking on the phone, and I found it more difficult to build conversation on the phone with him, you know, things have changed, and when it happened, we're at different place and situation.

As he goes older, I know how I come to this level of stubbornness, it was inherited by him.

About two weeks ago, I went home. As usual, my father would gladly drive me to places I requested. We talked a lot along the way. My father isn't the kind of man who said sweet words to me, we often exchanged nag and ended up defensing ourselves. It was still the same fun.

Two weeks ago, I realized one thing, I need to get to know my father more and my father needs to get to know me more, because in several part, I'm not the same as I used to be. It's quite amusing, let me give you example. During lebaran, I was quite exhausted following my father here and there visiting thousands of relatives which meant I tied my hand on my father's hand, which also meant not ordinary since in my town, people at my age should go with friends, not with their father visiting all the oldies. I did enjoy knowing my relatives, but I felt too tired that time so I did protest him why he kept forcing me to follow him everywhere. His answer made me furious, "Is it a burden following me? why? wanna go with your friends? where are they? I don't see one these days, and its not like you have a boyfriend either to take you everywhere, so just follow me and memorize all your relatives". I was burned that time, I didn't want to just lose, so I answered, "why mentioning boyfriend? how am I going to have boyfriend if I always follow my father and my mother everywhere?". My father just laughed. I thought about it a lot, he's surely concerned about me. These days I barely meet my friends, they're busy with their own lives and I wont bother disturbing them. It brought me to tears though.

Another story that strengthened the fact that we both needs to get to know each other more, we've got so many relatives, some of them live quite far that we need to drive there. One day we planned to visit one of them. My father warmed up his old car, then my mother got in, my two sisters came afterward while I was still in my bedroom, fixing my messy liquid eyeliner, to be honest I'm not in to eyeliner, I'm still amateur. I wasn't keen on 'make up', but these days I learned about it. When I got home, people kept thinking that I was still students, and my mother kept encouraging me to change a bit, to take care of my 'womanish side' to look as what adult woman looks in my town. So that day, my father kept pressing the horn calling me out. I was really angry because even in a normal situation, I hardly put on eyeliner, in a hurry moment like that, I saw a picture of mountain on my eyelids, it was horrible. I took all of my 'make up' things, then got out of home with sully face, my father asked if I was asleep before, of course it was just a sarcastic way. I told him that I needed more time for my 'make up', he was just like giving less care and mumbled stuff like "why bother putting make up, what for, woman with make up or without make up is just the same". I was like argh! it's useless to answered, so I started erasing my eyeliner. Along the rocky road, I thought a lot, previous time, when I got home, I still didn't like putting 'make up' so I didn't need more time, but these time, I can't just leave home shabbily, I've got that sense of shame and I want to respect my self more.

Well, there were too many stories to be told here, stories I want to remember, I learned a lot last time I was home. When I kissed that old man before leaving home for another year, I talk to him in my heart, "dad, I might not be anyone now, but I'm sure that I'm not stubborn for no reason, I promise to understand you better in the future".

Ah, I write for this long, once I read this again, I miss my father more. I love him unconditionally.

Happy (?) Birthday, You!

I have a song that never fails to make me cry.
Winter Child by Suzy



I always wanted to give this song to someone special like you. I can always feel your existence. You taught me many things. You've shown me how precious life is.
Since yesterday, January 23rd is the day when you were born, please consider this as a birthday present from your me.
It has been 9 years, time flies. No one talked about yesterday, I'm sure it's not that easy to forget so I think everyone was just trying to have the feeling of "moving on".
Many things have changed. I hope you're watching us there. Don't worry about things here, I've been in many bad situation but in fact I survive until now. Just hang on there until we meet again.
Well, you're now 9 years old, I wonder how big you are (although I'm not sure people grow up there). I don't know how you might think about me, but I'm doing my best right now, I'm going to protect things that I know you wish you could protect too.
Dear, I'm still wondering, should I give you a happy birthday?
I didn't know was that a happy birthday or not, but I feel happy because at least I have you. Whatever happened 9 years ago, I'm happy you were born, I'm happy that you're my brother.

Oleh-Oleh Dari Tipar

Tanggal 24 lalu, saya berkunjung ke Tipar, sebuah dusun terpencil di Purwokerto bersama Ibu, Bapak, 2 adik saya, dan Bibi Yah. Tipar adalah dusun di mana bapak lahir dan dibesarkan. TErakhir kali saya ke sana adalah 17 tahun lalu ketika saya masih TK. DAri Purwokerto kota, dibutuhkan waktu sekitar 1 jam menuju Tipar (kalo ngebut). Saya hanya mengingat samar-samar tentang Tipar 17 tahun lalu sehingga ketika mobil mulai memasuki daerah Rawalo, saya tidak bisa menebak bahwa kami telah masuk ke persimpangan menuju Tipar. Jalan awal ke sana sudah diaspal. Lurus dan tidak luas. Sepanjang jalan, kami disuguhi pemandangan sawah-sawah yang baru saja dipanen (bahasa jawanya panen padi itu "nderep"). Bapak tidak hentinya bercerita, menunjuk-nunjuk ke persawahan dan gunung di sekitar kami, bernostalgia "dulu bapak sama makwo (nenek saya) pernah jalan mengelilingi gunung itu, di jalan bapak haus lalu dibelikan banyu asem sama makwo...", "dulu bapak sering main sepeda di sawah itu, jalan aspal ini belum ada..", "Nah! liat jembatan itu, dulu itu tempat bapak main, bapak masih inget banget...". Mobil melaju luruuuus dan jauh diiringi cerita bapak, sampai kemudian kami tiba pada jalan-jalan yang sangat kecil dan keropos, yang kemudian bercabang pada ujungnya. Mobil mengambil sisi kiri, memasuki jalan becek, licin dan tidak beraspal. Kiri kanan kami dipenuhi "alas" (hutan). Akhirnyaa, mobil berhenti di depan sebuah rumah yang dindingnya dominan kayu dan anyaman bambu. Ah ya! saya ingat, itu rumah yang 17 tahun lalu saya datangi.. Saya melirik ponsel saya, no signal. Senang sekali mendapati saya bisa berada di rumah itu lagi, dengan bapak dan ibu. Peluk cium dari Mbah (adik kakek saya) dan uwa menyambut kami. Bapak kelihatan senang sekali setelah 17 tahun tidak kembali ke kampung halamannya. Rumah Mbah masih sama, lantainya tetap tanah, bedanya mbah sudah punya kamar mandi, kami tidak perlu mandi ke sungai. Kamar mandi itu adalah sebuah bak yang dialiri air dari gunung. Sayangnya Mbah tidak punya WC, kami harus ke Masjid di bukit untuk buang air besar (karena saya nggak mau bab di sungai, hehe). Kami tiba saat sendekala (waktu magrib). Malamnya, banyak sekali saudara berdatangan mendengar kabar kedatangan kami. kami bersalaman, dan rata-rata uwa dan mbah pasti bilang begini ke saya "njenengan sapa? njenengan anake rasim mbok? MasyaAlloh, wiwit, wis gedi pisan, mbiyen pas teka agi cilik-cilik banget..". Tidak sedikit uwa yang menangis haru masih bisa bertemu kami. Setelah 17 tahun, banyak keluarga di Jawa yang sudah meninggal, begitupun di Bengkulu, mengharukan sekali malam berbagi cerita itu.
Berpuluh tahun lalu (saya lupa tepatnya), Pakwo (kakek saya, ayah bapak), memutuskan untuk mencari peruntungan ke Sumatera bersama beberapa saudaranya. Sejak itulah keluarga Pakwo terpisah dan jarang sekali berkumpul. Saya sangat bersyukur pakwo memutuskan untuk pindah ke Sumatera. Kami sekarang hidup sangat nyaman di sana. Dan kehidupan kami di sana sudah cukup maju. Sejujurnya saya sedih melihat keadaan Tipar yang tidak jauh berbeda dengan 17 tahun lalu. Tidak banyak kemajuan yang berarti. Pemikiran keluarga bapak di sana masih sama. Membesarkan anak, kemudian di umur belasan tahun dinikahkan. Saya sangat sedih ketika seorang uwa bilang "njenengan mbok urung kawin? arep nunggu apa?" atau "lah arep ngapa kuliah, susah-susah, andon ngentekke duit mbok". Seumuran saya di sana jarang sekali yang belum menikah.
Di sana, kebanyakan orang hebat adalah orang yang rumahnya berlantai keramik, punya banyak sawah, dan ukuran-ukuran lain yang menyangkut materi. Menurut bapak Tipar agak susah maju karena orang-orangnya masih banyak yang berpola pikir jaman dulu. Saya hanya mengiyakan. sampai di hari ke dua, saya takjub sendiri. HAri itu kami berencana ziarah. Saya bangun kesiangan, ketika bangun, orang-orang sedang sibuk membicarakan perihal ibu yang tidak boleh ikut ziarah.
mbah: "sing olih maring kuburan bapake wae, mbakayu ne ora usah melu"
bapak: "lah, ngapa toh yung?"
mbah: "mbok mbakayu ne priyayi, priyayi ora olih maring kuburan"
bapak tersenyum menahan tawa. Ibu saya tidak diperbolehkan ziarah ke kuburan karena ibu adalah PNS, kalo jaman dulu, pegawai adalah priyayi, abdi belanda. Mbah kemudian mendengarkan penjelasan bapak, tetapi masih agak kekeuh bahwa ibu dan kami (yang dianggap anak priyayi) nggak boleh ikut ziarah. Pada akhirnya memang cuma bapak yang berangkat.
Ah pokoknya banyak pengalaman baru di Tipar. Saya merasa sangat nyaman tinggal di rumah mbah meskipun listrik dan sinyal terbatas.
Dan ini adalah oleh-oleh dari Tipar...

Di Tipar sedang musim panen





Suasana di sekitar rumah mbah


Makanan-makanan sederhana tapi enak di Tipar :)

Sebelum pulang, berpoto bersama keluarga mbah, Semoga kami masih bisa bertemu lagi lain kali, amin.

Another Letter For Little Brother

Dear my little boy...
Actually I wanted to write you last night, but I had to stay on my friends dorm so I had no chance to write. Yesterday was 23rd January 2011, ah! I didnt know whether I should wish you a happy birthday, because I still cant say that's a happy 'birth'day. It was definitely not a happy day though, hehe..
So how's there kiddo? do you play any games at your age now? I wonder how big you might be eventhough I still don't know whether people grow up there.
Well, kid, as I promised you a year ago, I could finally end my study . You know, I have a lot of ambitions, I have a lot of things I wanna do, I have a lot of things to tell you, but I know this space is just not enough for that. And I know, up there you're watching me.
I am now 22 years old. I am at the age to determine my future, to fight for my passion, and I just want you to know, after all the time spending by struggling on everything, I remember you, I love you :)
You're important person for me, because we are siblings, and siblings share heart. we might have no moment to stay together but I could feel you everywhere. You don't mean nothing to me, I want you to note that, my dear kiddo.
Some week ago, I and my friends visited an orphanage for babies and kids. I met someone named ridho. He's 7 years old, I suddenly remembered you. Forgive me for still often imagining that you were here. I sometimes smile widely imagining that I might buy you some boys stuffs, the cute stuffs I love but I've never got :D. Well, I also often imagining how big you are now. Everytime I see kiddos around, I always feel happy, They are cute, and I'm sure, so are you now..
My dear brother (I always wish someday I could have someone called by it :D), heaven must be really amazing so you went there first. Pray for me too kiddo, I want someday to meet you there, let's share a lot lot stories, I'll get you whatever you want, hm.. maybe, ice cream, yes, you'll definitely like it, no one hates ice cream. Then, let's play together to pay for the time we do not have now..
Aah, I think this is a very bad letter brother, you know, while writing this, too many thoughts are dancing in my head, I just don't know what's the best part I should write you.
Be good there my dear, because we're all doing good here. Mum, dad, mbak ian, adek, and me, we're all now living our life to the fullest.
My only one brother, it has been long time since the last time I visited you, I hope next time when I come back home, we could meet :)
At the end of this letter, I want to tell you that I'm now making people I love happy, including you, it's all about time to show you that I can be 'something'. Now, it's clear that I am trying..
Til we meet again my kiddo!


Hugs and Kisses,
Mba Wit

ps. last night, before sleeping, I couldnt stop myself to say a happybirthday to you, when I said that,
I really meant it. whatever happened 8 years ago, I was happy you were born, I am happy of you now,
and I will always be grateful to God for 'YOU', I miss you

Only God Knows Why

"...
People don't know about the things I say and do
They don't understand 'bout the shit that I've been through
It's been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long
Maybe I forgot all things I miss
Oh, somehow I know there's more to life than this
I said it too many times
And I still stand firm
You get what you put in
And people get what they deserve
Still I ain't seen mine
No, I ain't seen mine
I've been giving just ain't been gettin'
I've been walking that there line
So I think I'll keep on walking
With my head held high
I'll keep moving on and only God knows why..."

Kid Rock-Only God Knows Why

Home Sweet Home

lega sudah menyimpan tiket pulang, dapet promo lagi :D

Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule. ~Frederick W. Robertson

Home is not where you live but where they understand you. ~Christian Morgenstern

And yes, I'll be home soon, tadaimaaaaa :')

August Rush

Hola! It's August, iyaa agustus..

apa yang sedang anda pikirkan? kalo yang ada dalam pikiran saya adalah:
*Hal bahwa saya nggak bisa wisuda bulan ini, yaudah sih yaa, ikhlas..
*Bulan ini akan kembali menjadi bulan sibuk, tapi sibuk yang senang, sejak mei lalu saya dan adik saya sibuk mengurusi bimbel dan SNMPTN adik saya, sekarang setelah dia lulus, saya akan kembali berkutat dengan cari kosan, "beli-beli isi kosan, registrasi, dan penerimaan mahasiswa baru" thingy, Fight-Oh!
*Bulan ini resmi sudah saya lepas dari tutorial global governance, karena bulan lalu nilainya udah keluar, semua sudah berusaha, saya sudah berusaha, pengennya semua dapet nilai bagus, untungnya saya nggak punya kapasitas untuk memberi nilai, hehe, dan saya percaya apa pun hasilnya, yang penting adalah proses yang kita lewatin sama-sama, maafkan salah-salah saya selama tutorial Tuhan.. *jadi kangen tutorial :')
*HOME, udah ngak sabaaaar mau pulang kampung, kangen rumah, setahun nggak pulang rasanya kayak seabad.. udah banyaaak banget cerita numpuk, nggak sabar ketemu Ibu, Bapak, nggak sabar menghabiskan hari sama adek kedua (yang pertama bentar lagi juga ketemu :D), nonton spongebob sama ipin&upin bareng, makan masakan percobaan adek (yang aneh tapi enak, kangen ziarah ke makam adek bungsu, I dont know why, visiting you there makes me feel so comfort, feels like you're really mine, really ours.. ah how sometimes I wish you were there, flocking with us, little brother :). Rumah juga mengingatkan saya akan kumir, anjing-anjing yang selalu ada sejak saja kelas 5 SD, biarpun berganti dan berapapun jumlahnya, tetapi semua akan selalu bernama kumir. Ketika saya pulang nanti, saya nggak akan melihat kumir tua saya, yang sudah menemani saya sejak SMP, yang dulu dipuji-puji teman SMP saya karena lucu, yang sudah hafal dengan teman-teman saya dan tidak akan menggonggong ketika mereka datang, yaa.. kumir sudah mati beberapa bulan lalu, dia sudah cukup tua, sudah cukup lama bersama kami, terakhir bertemu badannya sudah ringkih. Bahkan vaksin tidak bisa menyembuhkan penyakit tuanya, rambut-rambutnya mulai rontok. Ah, nanti nggak ada lagi kumir yang mengejar-ngejar ketika saya pulang. Saya akan berkenalan lagi dengan kumir baru. Rumah juga mengingatkan saya dengan sepupu-sepupu dan ponakan-ponakan kecil saya yang jumlahnya tidak terhitung (haha, saya adalah cucu tertua di keluarga bapak :D), saya sudah tidak sabar denger suara cempreng mereka "mbaa wiit, mbaa wiiit" belum lagi ponakan-ponakan "cik wiit cicik cicik wiwit" (dalam bahasa daerah saya cicik=bibi), kalo kami sudah berkumpul, orang-orang tua tinggal mengelus dada melihat keributan yang kami buat, main "smekdon" kalo kata mereka, haha, benar-benar korban televisi. Di rumah juga saya bisa ke Suban (tempat wisata pemandian air panas) kapan saja, lalu mampir ke rumah uwa saya dan gratis mancing sepuasnya, di terik panasnya siang, saya duduk di bangku bambu di bawah pohon rindang, subhanallah.. Dan hey, kalo pulang ke rumah, saya akan merasakan servis "all you can eat", berhubung setahun nggak pulang, pasti akan sering ditanyain "mau makan apa?", dan plok! langsung ada di depan mata, dan siap-siap saja menggmbul :D. Ah bicara rumah memang tidak ada habisnya, saya selalu ingin waktu berhenti ketika di rumah. saat terberat adalah ketika saya harus kembali ke Jatinangor, saya merasa harus bangun dari mimpi indah, ahh... kampung halaman kita akan selalu lebih indah dari kampung halaman tetangga ;).
Pikiran saya jadi kemana-mana, udah nggak konsentrasi nulis, jadi sebelum makin aneh, saya sudahi saja..
Have an august rush fellas :D

Congratulation

Congratulation for my dear sister.. Wida Williannita..

Ade saya diterima di Universitas Pendidikan Indonesia, Fakultas Pendidikan Ilmu Pengetahuan Sosial, Prodi Pendidikan Ilmu Pengetahuan Sosial
Saya pengen loncat-loncat ketika mengecek ke website SNMPTN, awalnya masih ragu-ragu, saya trauma pengalaman tahun lalu, nangis-nangis ketika ade saya nggak lulus. Memang bukan saya yang ikut tes, tapi nyesek rasanya waktu itu. Ade saya setahun belakangan kuliah D1 komputer dan memang berencana ikut SNMPTN lagi, ketika sekitar dua bulan yang lalu dia datang ke Bandung dan mengikuti bimbingan belajar, saya sesungguhnya takut, takut dengan kemungkinan kejadian tahun lalu terulang. Sekarang saya bisa berucap syukur, Alhamdulillah..
walaupun sempat terjadi cekcok dikit atas jurusan yang dia pilih (saya akan tetap mendukung), meskipun menurut orang-orang, dan bahkan bapak, jurusan itu kurang bergengsi, buat saya menjadi guru apa pun akan tetap berpredikat mulia, hehe..
Terimakasih ya Allah, terimakasih untuk kelegaan ini :)
I'm welcoming more busy days related to this :D

It's about The Man I love The Most

He's the closest man to me in my whole life, the best man I've ever known, the most reliable man for me, the man that understand me the most, the man who think of me in his every breath, the man who lift me up in my in my every fall.. He's someone the words just couldnt tell..
He's my Dad, I love him..
Happy Father's day, Bapak..

...that he's no hero, but he's doing what he can
trying to make me a better man,
he's no hero, but he made me what I am..

My Sister is Coming

My sister, Wida Williannita is coming, she smells so homy ;)

Nevi's Getting Married :)

Hola Amigoos..
today is a big day, my causin, Nevi, 22 years old guy is getting married, congratulation nevii, I wish I could be there, yeah I should be there -_-
nevi was born in the same year as me, 1988, he's 9 months older than me. his mother is my mother's youngest sister. when we were kids, we used to do everything together. I have no brothers and that time he hasnt had sister yet, so my mother loves him and his mother (my aunty) really loves me too.
well, untill we're 8, I got a sisters and he got 2 brothers. I can say that we're complete each other, I sometimes slept in his house and my father would be so damn happy if he stayed in my home. I used to be so closed to him when I was kid. when nevi and his younger brother, feby, stayed in my home, my father would treat them very well, dad even would do everything to make them stay longer, ah, that was so nice. Dad ever mad a wooden sword and gave it to feby, I was jealous, and asked daddy to make one for me. I always love the thundercats sword, and I hope someday I could find it in my old home then treasure it.
We used to be white skinny kid with just a line eyes, then in my teen ages, I've change alot, you could see.. it seemed like the javanese gen from father's starting to work :D
and nevi grew up to be a good looking guy, still with the white skin. he become a guy whom the girl will love at the first sight, yeah even my mom said that he's handsome.. hehe..
well, the destiny separated us.. I could enroll my study to a university but for many reasons, nevi couldnt. After graduation he started working as a civil servant in my town, I wish he could also enroll to a university..
Okay now, that old kid is married, I'm not a kind of lady who does against young marriage, but for him, for nevi, for my lovely brother, I'm a little bit worrying him. I mean he's just turning 22, the same age as me. while I got so many difficulties with my thesis, he's gonna get manythings to handle on his new family. I guess it would be 100 times harder than mine. while I'm hanging out somewhere with my friend,he's dealing with bondy things, marriage.. Can he really be a husband? this is a normal question for me because nevi I know is just an old kid, the same as me. when my parents told me that nevi was going to propose the girl, I was so surprise, he should be kidding, what did he know about marriage.. but that's the fact that he's serious, now, he's married..
aaah.. when I come back home, he'll be a husband, then a father, amiinn..
well, although manythings are spinning around in my head about this marriage, I'M SO HAPPY FOR HIM, God please bless his new family, may he be a good husband gifted a good wife and cute children, and living happily ever after. Tomorrow I'm gonna call him, I want to hear his story, ah darn, I'm missing this guy, my causin who's getting married today :)
well, I've got a cup of coffee this afternoon, what a guilty pleasure, I guess I wont sleep till dawn ;)

Home

hola amigos..

sejak bulan Maret yang kemaren, saya jadi kepikiran pulang ke rumah, tapi nggak pernah sempat diutarakan, lagipula saya takut dimarahin karena minta pulang di saat bab 1 skripsi saya belum juga beres. tapi saya benar-benar butuh pulang, saya kangen rumah, saya pengen me-recharge pikiran saya, siapa tau bisa bikin gebrakan untuk skripsi ini.
oh yaa.. saya kuliah 1250 km jauhnya dari rumah, bisa dibayangkan sejauh apa itu. jarak itu sukses membuat saya nggak pulang selama 6 bulan kebelakang dan kalo saya nggak jadi pulang akhir bulan ini berarti saya baru pulang 6 bulan lagi -_-
2 hari yang lalu, ketika ditelpon rumah, saya bilanglah kalo saya pengen pulang, tapi saya bawa becanda, eh tidak dinyana, ibu mendukung keinginan saya, begitu juga dengan dua kurcaci adik saya *kalo mereka sudah pasti motifnya apa, oleh2 yang seabreg2.
dan sekarang inilah saya, makin gabisa tidur nyenyak kepikiran pulang, tinggal menunggu keputusan bapak, besok pagi saya akan melobi beliau :D
kalo sukses, berarti boleh pulang, saya akan segera memesan tiket, tapi kalo enggak ya.. mungkin lain kali saja..
well, kadang saya iri dengan orang yang kuliah nggak jauh dari rumah, yg bisa pulang kapan aja, tapi.. ternyata hm.. nggak juga, saya bisa jadi lebih 'kuat' karena jauh dari rumah. lagipula sekarang ada handphone, facebook, dan media lain untuk berhubungan dengan rumah. dulu di saat banyak saudara saya yang tidak diperbolehkan kuliah di luar pulau, ibu saya dengan mudahnya 'melempar' saya ke pulau jawa ini dan saya bersyukur untuk kesempatan ini walaupun awalnya ditentang sama bapak karena saya perempuan dan saya sendirian di tempat yang asing, yaa, saya tidak pernah datang ke bandung apalagi jatinangor, sampai saya lulus di HI Unpad but mommy trusts me, always believes that I can do this.
finally after the long night conversations and lots of negotiations, see.. I survive :)
kadang saya bingung sama orang yang nggak tahan pengen pulang ke rumah karena udah 1 bulan nggak pulang, hey.. I must be so much stronger than them, hehe..
only if I were rich, I could go home anytime I want, untuk bolak balik saya menghabiskan hampir 1 juta, oh maii, orangtua saya udah sangat baik menyekolahkan saya hingga saat ini, terimakasih ya Allah. saya nggak mau manja, nggak mau banyak maunya. mungkin kalo saya jujur bilang pengen pulang, kapan pun itu, bisa saja saya pulang, I'm sure they miss me that much too. tapi saya memilih untuk nggak begitu. biar yang di rumah tenang, saya nggak boleh manja, saya harus kuat di sini, kalo nangis yaudah nangis sendiri aja, nggak usah bilang2 ke orang di rumah. eh tapi ya kadang saya kalo saking kangennya pas ditelpon suka nangis, tp saya tahan2 jangan sampe ketauan, hehe.. aneh ya? tapi wajarlah..
rumah selalu bikin saya kangen karena suasananya yang sangat beda dengan di sini. di rumah semua serba strict, banyak aturan, nggak bisa bangun kesiangan, nggak ada yang namanya begadang, nggak bisa banyak nonton tv, nggak bisa sering2 mainin handphone (fb, twitter, dll), nggak bisa jajan sembarangan, harus sarapan, kalo jamnya belajar harus belajar, ah banyak lagi aturan lain, yang tentu saja nggak ada di kosan. selain itu di kosan saya santai, cuma perlu beres2 kamar yang kecil tiap harinya, nggak perlu nyuci dan nyetrika baju, coba kalo di rumah, ada banyaaaaak sekali kerjaan (yang seringkali disebutkan teman2 di twitter sebagai pekerjaan babu) yang dari dulu saya, ibu, bapak, dan adiek kerjakan bersama, nggak ada ceritanya pake pembantu, kecuali waktu adek saya masih bayi, iya ada yang bantu2 di rumah, selain itu, no way! kata ibu masa pake pembantu, sedangkan anaknya 3 cewek semua. jadilah pekerjaan rumah kami kerjakan bersama, sudah ada bagiannya. jam 3 atau jam 4 subuh ibu udah bangun, masak, bikin sarapan sekaligus makan siang, abis itu ngurusin adek saya yang paling kecil mandi, nyiapin seragamnya, nguncirin rambutnya, abis itu nyuci baju ibu, bapak dan adek yang paling kecil, sementara saya pagi2 akan sibuk dengan beres2 rumah dan menjadi asisten ibu memasak, sekarang masih mendingan, saya kebagiannya nyapu ngepel dalem rumah sama nyiram bunga, soalnya bagian halaman rumah yang luasnya kayak kebon udah jadi jatah adek saya yang kedua, dulu saya masih inget, dan suka takjub sendiri kalo nyadar, dulu waktu saya masih kelas 2 atau 3 SD, jam 4.30 subuh waktu orang belum adzan subuh, saya udah nyapu halaman rumah, waktu itu adek saya yang kedua masih kecil. kalo melihat sekarang, saya seperti mengalami kemunduran, mana bisa sekarang bangun subuh langsung nyapu halaman rumah -_-
saya kangen banget hebohnya pagi di rumah, bapak yang sibuk buka pintu2, ngurusin sarapan peliharaan (burung2 dan ayam2), dan kerjaan2 lain yang bisa dikerjakan. setelah itu kami semua sarapan (kalo nggak sarapan nggak dikasih uang jajan, hehe.. harus sarapan sehat di rumah), mandi, terus saya dan adik saya yang kedua langsung berangkat ke sekolah sementara bapak ngasih makan kumir (anjing kami), lalu mengantar adik saya yang bungsu ke sekolah dan berangkat kerja, sementara ibu masih membereskan bekas memasaknya kemudian langsung berangkat ke kantor.
sejak saya kuliah 1250km jauhnya dari rumah, mekanisme pekerjaan rumah diganti, kerjaan saya dilimpahkan ke adek nomor dua, sedangkan kerjaan adek nomor dua dilimpahkan ke adek nomor tiga, yaa, si bungsu kan sudah kelas 2 SMP, hehe..
parahnya kalo sekarang2 saya pulang, saya suka jadi orang yang malesnya ampun2an, karena terbiasa santai di kosan, kebawa ke rumah juga :(
setiap menjelang pulang saya selalu bertekad, saya kalo di rumah harus lebih rajin, karena saya nggak tiap hari di rumah. kenyataannya saya dirumah seringkali malas mengurusi pekerjaan rumah karena terbiasa dengan urusan kamar kos yang hanya berukuran kecil.
ah God, saya berdoa semoga bisa pulang tanggal 16 april ini, amiin ya Allah, kalo nggak pulang juga.. yaudahlah nggak apa, soalnya awal bulan depan adek kedua saya bakal datang..
dua orang ini kalo lagi deket suka ngajakin ribut tapi kalo lagi jauh ngangenin ;)

ini foto baru yang diupload di fb si adek (setelah saya paksa2 :D), 6 bulan lewat, the've changed alot..Ampun deh itu poninya si bungsu, ampe ke mata, ckckckck...

Praying

you are my super hero
get well soon dear daddy, I love you..

a (not) so serious saturday night conversation

this conversation happened on a saturday night calling from home among wida wulasari (me), ibu nurhayani (mum), bapak rasim (dad), wida williannita (lian), and wida tri septia (adek)

mum: dear, where are you, why dont you answer our call this afternoon?
lian: whoaa she's surely hanging out with her friends (laughing)
adek: yeay, I agree..
me: sorry mum, I was out with my friend, now I'm in my room.
mum: with whom were you out?
me: thita
mum: oh.. will you just staying in yout room this night?
me: yup, I have no idea what to do
mum: hm.. any story to tell us this night?
me: oh lots of stories mum, but dont you go out there?
adek: no, we're just staying home
mum: how's your thesis
me: (answer lazyly) so so.. just pray for me mum, and please dont ask about thesis thingy on this satnight..
mum: okay, I know
me: thankyou mum, you do really understand me. today's fani's wedding mum (fani is my old friend in bekasi, my mum knows that)
mum: oh well, congratulation for her, dont you come?
me: I wish I could..
mum: oh..
me: next week, I'm going to attend my seniors graduation day mum
mum: wow, that will be great, when will it be exactly?
me: on tuesday, some of my seniors will be legally graduate mum, should I give them anything?
mum: it should be flowers dear..
me: oh, I'll think bout it mum. hm.. I'm imagining someday I'll graduate too mum
lian: yeay! and we all will come
dad: our big family will come
mum: yeah, we should prepare anything from now on, what should I wear (mumbling)
lian: me too
adek: me too.. me too (noisy)
dad: (laughing)
me: oh c'mon you all, isnt it too early? I even dont know when it will be exactly... (a bit upset)
mum: I know but sooner we'll face it dear..
me: mum, do you mind if I dont have 'anyone' to be intriduced to you and dad on my graduation day, haha (kidding)
mum: what do you mean by 'do you mind?', of course I really dont mind..
me: what? dont you pray a little for my future mate? I mean other mother always care about it
dad: (laughing)
mum: oh dear, I'm so upset actually when I met my old friends, they said that you'll get married soon. oh I'm afraid if it truly happen
me: what about that statement? dont you want me to get married?
mum: I really want you to get married dear but not soon..
adek: mba wit, I dont want to be an aunty..
lian:me too, I dont want to hold your baby, noo..
me: what? what with that attitude, ah you're all so weird this night (starting upset)
mum: dear I want you to graduate with a perfect achievement and have a good career soon, and I want you to have a happily ever after family, but not these next 4 years.. get your self married on 25
me: (surprise) what? mum, it's not something I could rule..
mum: but you could prepare it dear
me: why everyone hates my idea to get married sooner?
lian: I dont want you to get married before 25
adek: me to mba ian, I dont want to be called by 'bibi' or 'tante' soon
me: you two are selfish!
mum: dear, they still need your guidance and your attention, and you'll soon take responsibility of them with us too
me: I do know mum, but what about getting married? is it wrong?
mum: no, it's absolutely right wit, but I think the right time is when you're 25 dear.. you'll be nicely ready..
me: (thinking whose theory is that?) yeay, now I know why do I still being single till now, even my mum never pray for my future mate to come..
lian, adek, dad: (laughing out loud)
mum: I always pray for your health, your education, your days....
me: (stopping her) but not for my future mate, I see..
mum: c'mon why are you so upset, you're still 21 dear, you still have us..
me: no, I'm not upset, I'm just feeling soo sad (lebay), because my mum never pray me for my future mate..
dad: go on dear, I'll support you..
mum: what support?
dad: we can do nothing when it comes to the right time
me: dad, you are so sweet
mum: no, I wont let you marry before you're 25
me: mum, dont you realize, that was so selfish
lian: mba wit, why are you suddenly talk about marriage, you even havent met someone yet (yelling)
adek:so right mba ian, she might be dreaming (laughing)
me: you two are annoying.. I'm just asking and I never imagine that mum is thinking that way.. mum, so I'll be cursed to not have a boyfriend untill I get 25.. poor me...
mum: no, I never curse you, you may have any relationship now..
me: really???
mum: ya, but not a sooner getting married relationship, just a relationship for having fun dear..
me: oh mum... how come you said that while I really want to have one first and last relationship for my whole life.. we dont match each other mum.. (listless)
dad: that's good wit
me: thankyou so much daddy
mum: you have to focused your mind to your thesis wit, dont ever think of useless things dear.. okay, could we end this marriage conversation? it's not like you're ready enough to get married..
lian: have you decide when will you get married mba?
me: none of your bussiness (sulking)
adek: whoaa, she's angry.. (laughing)
mum: dear, you have to spend your youth wisely.. young marriage sometimes is not a good idea to spend your youth, see the world, reach your ambitions first.. dont you want to do that?
me: ya mum, I understand..
dad: but dont foce yourself. just do the best you can do now, that's your priority.. maybe you're a little to young to talk about marriage
lian and adek: (laughing)
me:hm.. ya ya ya..
mum: ok then be focused on your thesis, how was it?
me: arrggghhh.. (I've told my mum to just asking about my thesis once on three days and to not asking about it on saturday night :D)
and the conversations still continue.. (but not about marriage thingy :p)

A Long Letter for My Brother :)

February 2008

Dear my dearest brother...

Suddenly I want to write you, realizing that I forgot your birthday (the same day you left us). Isn’t it 25th january? I guess so. I dont want to ask it to mum, let us keep you in our each heart. I’m so sorry dear, 2 weeks too late. Honestly I want to forget that day, but not to forget you, you will always be my beloved baby.

I’m wondering how’s your day there brother (all the time I wish I had someone to be called by it :D). Seven years had been passed, I’m now growing up. I’ve been trying everything I could try, I played the game, I did sport, I read many books, I cooked everything I want, but I dont have any time to watch football on TV anymore and I’m not just listening to westlife anymore (ah westlife reminds me of ‘Soledad’, the song I used to sing at the time you were coming (and left us the same day)). Now I’m listening to anykind of musics and I’m interested in playing a music instrument, someday I wish I could sing a song for daddy with my new guitar, I’m sure He’d be so glad, as glad as when I passed many Sunday mornings jogging with him, as glad as when I accompanied him watching football match on TV in the middle of the night, and as glad as when He saw me and mba ian playing basketball and badminton in our houseyard :)

By the way brother, do you still remember kumir? He was little puppy when you came (at the same time you left), as the time goes by, kumir grew up to be a lovely puppy, my friends in secondary school loved him so, they even came and visited our home just to meet kumir. Oh dear, I forgot what I have to tell. You have to know that about two moths ago, kumir left us forever. Daddy said that he might suffer from diseases from aging. Poor kumir, I still remember my almost nine years time with kumir without you (oh cmon, why am I so sad, haha). Brother you do have to know that daddy is not the same old daddy ;). You might know that he used to love feeding many pets in his spare time. These seven years, we’ve ever had swans, rabbits, ducks, hens, cocks, many kinds of birds and even goats and cows, but now, only some left (chicken, hens, cocks, and birds). He said that it’s not easy to have many pets, espesially the big one (goats and cows), so tired to feed them. Hmm.. I remembered, one day, daddy was sick. All people in the house were mad because of worrying who will feed those goats and cows. And guess what? Daddy asked me to covered for his task, to bulk grasses for them. I actually was upset, I’m a girl and why did I have to do such task. Though I was mad, I finally went out with a mini lorry and mba ian too. Well, it was unpredictable fun dear, we walked from one to other farms, cutted the grasses then put them into our mini lorry :D

My dear brother, these seven years, daddy focused his efforts to our farms , we had a new rice field and new coffee farms, daddy was very happy when I accompanied him to the farms, looking at the workers worked. I loved to go there, there’s a short waterfall near our rice fields, and also a pretty river in front of it (I ever brought my friends there). The workers were also nice to me, they often gave me some wild fruit (like ‘buah pucung’). Now daddy plans to have a cocoa farms, let’s pray for him :)

Well how about mum? She’s now busier than ever with her office works. But she still cooks for us and still does the house works, she sleeps over 10 pm and wakes up at 3.30 am. Preparing meals for breakfast and luch. At 7 am, mum and dad go to work while mbak tri goes to school and mbak ian left home untill 1 pm and go to her campuss. Now mommy often works over hours dear, but she never forget to call me manytimes a day.

My dearest brother, some seconds ago, Mommy called me, she asked whether my thesis is ok because now I’m struggling for it. I hope I can be the one she wish in her every night prayers. Hey, brother, do you know what thesis is? Is there thesis in your world? Aah.. this thesis talking always makes me confuse, between nervous and scary so we better end it :D.

I’ll tell you about your second sister, mba ian. Have you known that she’s a stubborn headed girl? Hehe.. it’s describe her the most. Now she enrolles her study for 1 years in a computer sciences school in our hometown. This years she will continue to a university, she wants in Bandung or Jakarta while mum and dad want her to stay in Palembang or Bengkulu. What we are now worriest the most is that she doesnt really have a passion to learn (I’ve asked her manytimes). She said that she wanted to enrolled her study in Jakarta or Bandung because both of them are big city and it’s cool studying so far from our hometown. Oh dear, I ever felt tired. Tired of telling her everything, tired of listening to mommy’s complaints. I’ve been knowing mbak ian for her whole life (it’s about 20 years), but till now, I still dont understand her. Pray for me dear. Everyday I follow her growth and progress, giving many inputs (hope that it will work), she still has about 2 months to find her purpose in life and her passion, even desire to really learn something.

Well, how about mba tri? The youngest in our home now. She’s not a kid anymore dear. She has been growing up to be a cheerful girl, loved by her friends and also her teacher. In her first year in junior high school, she got some low marks at some lessons. At that time she played most of the time (went to timezone or just hung out with her friends). But now in her second years, she got the second champion in her class, first champion in her school history :D. We’re all happy for her, I’ll bought her a new bag as the prize next week.

Dear brother, I shouldnt wish you a happy birthday so is it a matter if I forgot? I wish not dear. By the way do you still remember sahid brother, our neighbour who was born in the same year as you? He’s now a chubby cute kiddo. Mommy loves him so, I guess sahid remains her of you dear. Well, now we have more causins, nephews and nieces. Fabian, Yoyo, Faikh, Rara, Ihsan, Ravvano, Mphi, Aqilla, si kembar, and kiki had come in these seven years.

My only one brother, last year I visited you with dad, mum, mba ian, and mba tri. Well it was like a family gathering. The sky was cloudy but we’re all came sincerely and solemny. This year I have to graduate brother, then I will be up to the real life. I want to make mum and dad happy. I want our big families (who never stop support me) proud of me. I still dont know what I will be. You know even since you were born (at the same day you left), I want to be a teacher. But now I surrender, let it flow dear. I’m just trying my best, wish me luck, love you :)

Hug and kisses.
Mba Wit

Fabian, My little Nephew

I always want to have a brother, and a kiddo as my nephew is really makes me glad..
his name is Fabian Bramantyo nugroho, an almost 2 years old kiddo. I love that kiddo sooo muchoo :)

I love you Bapak

http://img489.imageshack.us/i/dad5by.png/

ini sepertinya akan jadi postingan yang panjang, sebelumnya baca dulu tulisan yang saya dapat dari share notesdi FB..

Biasanya anak-anak yg jauh dari orang tuanya merasa kangeen sekali dgn mamanya.
Lalu bagimana dgn papa?
Mungkin mama lebih sering menanyakan keadaan anaknya setiap hari .tp taukah kamu jika papamu yg mengingatkannya utk menelfonmu?
Mgkn mama yg lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita,tp taukah kamu sepulangnya ia bekerja dgn wajah lelah ia selalu menanyakan kabarmu dari mama mu?
waktu kecil..
Papa mengajari putri kecilnya bermain sepeda. Setelah dia mengganggap kamu bisa ia melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu, Saat itu mama menutup mata karena takut anaknya terjatuh lalu terluka.tp ayah dgn yakin menatapmu mengayuh sepeda dgn pelan karena dia tahu putri kecilnya pasti bisa.
Saat kamu menangis meronta meminta boneka yg baru,mama menatapmu iba,tetapi ayah mengatakan dgn tegas "kita beli nanti,tapi tidak sekarang" karena ia tidak ingin kamu menjadi manja dgn semua tuntutan yg selalu di penuhi.
ketika kamu remaja
kamu mulai menuntut utk keluar malam. Lalu papa mulai bersikap lebih tegas ketika mengatakan "tidak".
itu utk menjagamu karena kamu adalah sesuatu yg berharga.
Lalu kamu masuk ke kamar membanting pintu.
Tp yg dtg mengetok pintu dan membujuk mu adalah mama.
Taukah kamu saat itu dia memejamkan matanya dan menahan diri,karena Dia sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu. Tp lagi2 dia harus menjagamu.
saat seorang cowok mulai sering datang mencarimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia. Dan sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kmu sdg brdua di ruang tamu. Tahukah kmu dia merasa cemburu?
dan saat dia melonggarkan sedikit peraturan, kamu melanggar jam malamnya. Ia duduk di ruang tamu menunggu mu pulang dgn sangat2 khawatir. Wajah khawatir itu mengeras ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang terlalu larut. Dia marah. Karena hal yg di takutinya akhirnya datang "putri kecilnya sudah tidak ada lg"
saat papa sedikit memaksamu utk menjd seorang dokter. Ketahuilah bahwa ia hanya memikirkan masa depanmu nanti. Tp toh dia tetap tersenyum saat pilihanmu adalah menjd seorang penulis.
sampai saat papa harus melepasmu di bandara. Bahkan badannya terlalu kaku utk memelukmu. Ia hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini-itu. Dia ingin menangis seperti mama yg menangis dan memelukmu erat. Tp dia hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "jaga diri baik2". Agar kamu kuat utk pergi.
saat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yg mengerutkan kening adalah Papa. Berusaha mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dgn yg lain.
ketika permintaanmu bukan lg sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan ia tau ia tidak bisa memberikan. Dia sangat ingin mengatakan "iya nak,nanti kita beli" dan saat kata2 yg keluar adalah "tidak bisa" dari bibirnya. Tahukah kamu Ia merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum.
saat kamu sakit dan tidak berada di dekatnya. Papa terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak berkata "sudah di blg jgn minum air dingin!".berbeda dgn mama yg memperhatikanmu dgn lembut.
ketahuilah saat itu ia benar2 khawatir dgn keadaanmu.
dan di saatnya nanti kamu wisuda sebagai seorang sarjana. Papa adalah org pertama yg berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan utk mu. Dia yg tersenyum bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yg tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"
sampai saat seorang teman hidupmu datang dan meminta izin mengambilmu darinya. Papa akan sangat berhati2 memberikan izin.karena ia tau laki2 itu yg nanti akan menggantikannya.
dan saat Papa melihat mu duduk di panggung pernikahan bersama seseorang yg di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya. Papa pergi kebelakang panggung,dan menangis "tugasku telah selesai dgn baik.putri kecilku yg lucu telah menjadi wanita yg cantik"
Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatangan mu dan cucu2nya sesekali utk menjenguknya. Dgn rambut yg telah memutih dan badan yg tak lagi kuat utk menjagamu dari bahaya.
papa adalah sosok yg harus selalu terlihat kuat bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat utk tdk menangis. Harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. papa jg orang pertama yg selalu yakin bahwa "kamu bisa" dalam hal apapun.
tersenyum dan bersyukurlah ketika kamu bisa merasakan kasih syg seorang papa hingga tugasnya selesai.kmu adalah salah satu org yg beruntung. Karna papa adalah sosok superhero yg hebat.
-anonymous
NOTE : DAPAT DARI ANDRIA NURACHMAN... feel free to share with everyone


seperti biasa, menemukan hal-hal seperti ini, saya nangis (satu2nya hal yang membuat saya merasa sangat wanitawi, hahaha).
kebetulan yang sangat kebetulan, siang tadi saya baru ditelpon bapak. sekarang bapak lebih sering menelpon saya langsung karena telah membeli ponsel baru yang diisi dengan kartu beroperator sama dengan saya, tadinya bapak dengan saya beda operator makanya kalau menelpon lebih sering dari ponsel ibu. sekarang saya lebih sering ditelpon bapak, hanya bercerita tentang bapak mau kemana hari ini, dan update2 info di kampung halaman.
hal ini karena 2 minggu yang lalu bapak membeli ponsel baru, ketika saya minta ponsel lamanya, nggak dikasih.. ternyata bapak mau beli kartu lain beroperator sama dengan saya dan ibu. walopun nggak bilang jangan2 biar bisa nelponin saya, hehe *GR
kadang saya mikir kayak tulisan diatas, tapi sepenuhnya saya sadar kok kalau saya sayang sama bapak=saya sayang sama ibu. hanya saja cara saya mengungkapkan sayang sama bapak memang tidak sama dengan ibu. begitu pula sebaliknya. but isn't it totally OK :)

wahh saya bilang sayang sama bapak, tapi jam 2 dini hari begini saya masih belum tidur. bapak paling nggak suka saya begadang, katanya kalo begadang itu brarti saya nggak bisa me-manage waktu saya di siang hari... benul juga sih.. maafkan anakmu bapaak, CHEERS :)

10 hari lagi pulang

bentar lagi pulang.. senaaang..
udah hampir 7 bulan ga pulang, yang lebih senang lagi nanti bisa ngerayain ulang tahun adek pas 11 september nanti bareng (setelah 3 tahun ngelewatin ulang tahun adek di nangor).
yang bikin puyeng, si adek lagi pengen banget punya hamster, aku mau beliin jadi kado ulang tahun. masalahnya disana jarang banget ada hamster. adek minta dibawain dari Bandung..
tolong kasi tau aku gimana caranya bawa hamster di bandara dan ga ketauan?
kalo pake dikarantina-karantina dulu, bisa-bisa diomelin mba pipit nanti trus gaboleh deket2 sm fabian, trus kalo dimasukin box tertutup kain gitu kedeteksi ga ya??
bingung...bingung...bingung...
kalo ga hamster mau ngasi kado apaa?
mau nyanyiin lagu ulang tahun pake gitar? boro-boro, kunci g aja masih suka lupaa..

pulang...pulang... yang bikin pusing oleh2nya, milih2in buat sepupu-sepupu kecil yang lucu-lucu tapi jumlahnya seabreg, hehe..

pulang..pulang... setiap mau pulang gatau kenapa badan pasti drop, cobaan kali yaa?

pulang... pulaang...
senangnya di rumah yang nyaman, I miss Ibu, Bapak, Lian, Adek..

pulang... pulaaaang, yang pasti akan mengunjungi "rumah" si bungsu.. (he) may be missing (his) oldest sister :)