11 Years

It's another January, which means another year has just passed. it's been 11 years. 

I learned that 11 is the time to understand the world and start to feel things. There are a lot of things I wish I could tell you. Well,I would definitely want to tell you later.

11 is also the time I start to forget, which makes me afraid that I will not remember that you were once here with us. I want to always remember you even until I get old, please let me at least do that

Another January means another happy birthday to you!

This year, I don't know how I manage to find another related song again, I've been watching this video these days and it feels heartbreaking so this might somehow tell how we feel, no? :)

When I'm Bigger, You're Much Older, Ms.

Still related with my holiday, the kids were always excited every time I told them about my holiday in Vietnam, not only that actually, whenever I went to a new place, I ate at a new restaurant, I met a new person, they would like to know about them all. It must have been amazing for them to know that I had experienced a lot of things. Yup, being adult seems so promising for the kids.

Kid: Ms, I envy you a lot. You can go anywhere you want. If me, my mom I think will not give permission.

Me: That's normal, when I was at your age, my mom did the same. Don't worry, when you're bigger, you can travel by yourself

Kid: Impossible, you don't know my mom, last time I want arung jeram when in Bali, my mom angry, so how come I travel by myself???

Me: long waaay to go, just wait  ok.

Kid: can I have friends for traveling like you and your friends later?

Me: Sure, you will do.

kid: But my friends at school are lame, they don't like traveling

Me: Maybe not yet now, later you will find some, or when you're bigger, contact me, lets travel together, ok.

Kid: ahhhh how comeee, ms, when I bigger, you must be older, if we traveling together, then I will take care of you, no fuuunnnnn. *pout*

As usual I smirked and laughed at her silly thought :))

I Am Rich

I don't know when this started or neither I know what I've done wrong that my kids think that I'm a superloaded young lady. One day I was shot with a weird question. I knew it was going nowhere so I just answered blindly without thinking. I truthfully didn't want to talk about it longer.

Kid: Ms, you are rich ya?

Me: Ah, no, I'm not.

Kid: Lie! why do you think you are not rich?

Me: Well, look at me now, I'm here teaching you, working, earning money, If I'm rich, I will just spend my day freely, traveling around the world, in fact, I can't do that so I'm not rich now.

I thought the kid would stop asking, but, to my surprise, she shot me a death glare instead.

Kid: What? I don't believe it, that's stupid idea! If you are rich, don't stop working, if you stop working, later you kehabisan money, you must be peminta-minta, you can't be like that ms!

The kid was fuming because of my blind answer, she even mixed English and Indonesian without asking. I patted her back and just nodded signaling an 'ok, get it'. Her parent must have thought her well :) 

After some time, I finally found out what made the kids think that I was rich. It was because of my holiday to Vietnam several months ago. It was a big deal for them since I didn't join any tour (while they were always going with tour), they thought I was amazing since I went to Vietnam, a country which they rarely heard anyone visited. They have been to Japan, Korea, New Zealand, Aussie and many other countries, but not Vietnam. In their mind, Vietnam might be beyond their reach so they thought I was pretty awesome going there by my own effort.

Kid: you must be very rich ya because you went to Vietnam

Me: You don't have any idea how long I had saved money before I went there and it's not expensive to go to Vietnam.
Kid: Look you have galaxy tab and blackberry
Me: You have Ipad which costs twice my galaxy tab, and blackberry which also costs twice my very old blackberry and what more, you have your ipod which costs maybe ten times my mp3 player by the way.

kid: But still, you went to Vietnam! I only went to Singapore Singapore Singapore, boring!

Me: Well, I guess she's the richest here then (I pointed at another kid in the class). She has been to almost all European countries, She has been to Japan, Korea, China, Macau, Hongkong, Brunei, ahhh, she has been to countless country.

The other kid: What? me? I'm not rich ms, my parents also not rich because we never go to Bandung, my friends all often go to Bandung but my family not, so we are not rich.

Ohkay! I choked a laugh. I guess I'm really the richest since I went to Bandung more often than them :)))

My Mom is So Generous

One day, a 9 year old kid came to my class pouting. I smiled at her asking what was wrong. She murmured then muttered when I widened my eyes giving her a whats-wrong-look. "My mom is so generous", she said, still pouting. "That's not a problem then." I replied simply. She continued whining, "You don't understand, I don't likee it ms...". "Why not? don't you get things you want easily since your mom is generous?", I asked back, couldn't understand her.

She then grumbled, "That's exactly the problem! she's only generous to herself, never once she bought me toys I want, she only buy her make up make up make up, bag bag bag, ahhhh!". I smiled looking at her frustrated look and laughed together with another kid's comment, "Not only your mom, my parents too only generous to them, but stingy to me!". Then they started comparing whose parents are more stingy, and no one wanted to lose, each of them thought that their parents are the best penny pincher, what? is that even an achievement? :)) 

If I could, would I?

Another thing I love about kids is what they could come up with, they would surprise me with different genuine thought each time we meet. This is one of dozen stories I've witnessed.

One day we talked about imaginary situation, about dream for the future.

In the presentation, a kid was asked, "If you could be anyone, would you be a king?". 

My kids are around 8 or 9, I expected they all wanted to be a king, well for kids, it should have been fun. 

Out of my expectation, a young girl, Kekei, answered with a shocked face, "What? a king? no way and never! its so lame being a king, you only sit, order here, order there, lamee and I would not." It led me to small laugh.

The next question was, "If you had a chance, would you have the immortality?". This question surely would brought vary responses from the kids, I thought, but again, I was surprised by another young girl, Jojos, she confidently answered, "No, I don't want, I don't want to be immortal, I still want to die to be able to meet God, if I don't die, I can't meet God Ms...". Well, such a tactful kid :)

Seeing Caterpillars Becoming Butterflies (Part 2)

I've been busy recently. Because of the flood last January, we need to do a lot of make up lessons to cover the missing materials. Then it came to February, we're busy welcoming Lunar New Year and Valentine's day. While doing the preparation, I remember last year. I was with my complete musketeers class. It was surely one of happiest moment. Then when it came to March, I got couples of things to do, projects, sisters thingy, etc.

I know this is too late, but I really want to continue the previous story for my own remembrance. About a class I treasure, about students I love. 

This picture was taken from my Musketeers Class when we finished our 'Love Card' February 2012.

  This is us as well. We took this picture on our first time hanging out together. 

It was awkward to meet them outside the class, but, it turned out fun. We shared a lot of things. I remember a memorable thing happened that time. Willy left our table right after he finished eating, he said he was sorry but from his face, I knew something wasn't okay. Calvin stopped me from stopping Willy. I felt bad, I thought it must be burdened for him to gather with us outside. Unlike the others student, Willy was a bit introvert, and didn't really get along with other. He didn't speak much either. I thought he had to hate it a lot, going out with us. While I was worried, Calvin was as cool as nothing happened, then he said that it's true that even at school, Willy didn't really got along with people, but what Calvin emphasized, Willy wouldn't just go out with person he didn't believe in. So he said that Willy had put his belief on me, it was because of his personal problem that he had to leave early. At that time I realized, ah! they're kids after all. 

 After that, we continued to the next term. I was glad to see Willy come alone to the class, he was always with Calvin, but he had ever come alone first. He paid more attention to the lessons. He started speaking a lot, joking a lot, like "ah I'm so happy to see ms Wida face here". It was a big improvement for me.

I got more and more comfortable with them. They would know if I wore new clothes, They would tease me even for applying eye shadow (I didn't know how they would notice), but that's okay. We were staying in an English course class, so I wanted them to study while enjoying their every moment. We gradually hung out together every end of term until half of them left.

Last December was the peak of missing them because the previous year, I spent my birthday with them. I had wished how things shouldn't have been changed.

One day, a normal day in the past, Arya ever mumbled asking me, "Ms, where's your boarding house? you know it'll be fun if we come and surprise you on your birthday, hahaha". At that time, I just laughed thinking how impossible it was. On my 2012 birthday, they would have been far away from me for sure.

It was finally December, my birthday, I got messages from them. It made me miss them more. Actually I didn't expect they would come, but Calvin sent me messages asking about my teaching schedule on my birthday, I put on hope, I asked him, "are you coming?". He replied playfully, "why I want to come?". Then I thought it's too impossible for them to come. They're all busy because of December, end of semester, I knew it. Brian, Josiah, William, Gaby and Ihui were busy for final tests, and Arya was having end of semester tests at his college as well, and Calvin was busy with his photo school.

In fact, they didn't come on my birthday.

A day after my birthday, I was having a final project with my night class when I saw some silhouettes from outside the door. It was almost 8. I ignore it until I saw like something burning and someone knocked the door. I opened the door hesitantly, and then I was blank, it was shocking, I even rubbed my eyes several times. I saw Willy on the door, I even asked, "Willy, is that you? why are you here? you must be in Bintaro", then before I got the answer I saw Gaby with a pretty cake full of candles, followed by Ihui, Arya, Calvin, Josiah, and even William, I ran to them, welcomed them. My eyes got blurred, I heard them singing 'happy birthday song'. All steuents in my class suddenly clapped their hands and sang the song too, although they didn't know who were there interrupting their class. I almost cried. I didn't think they would do that. It was beyond my expectation. I really wanted to cry, but Arya shouted teasing me, "ms widaa mau nangis tuh liat tuuh", so my tears went back in.

 The first photo above was taken by student from my class who was having final project, she voluntered herself to take my picture with my former student, and the second one was sent to me by another student who took out candid picture by hel cellphone, how nice :)

I couldn't describe how I felt, it was... great!. I knew it won't be easy for them to gather on that day. They all came from different places. Actually that time I had just had a class with Ihui, Josiah, and William, I noticed that Josh kept giving some weird signal to Ihui, but I didn't think that far, plus it was already past my birthday. Later I found out that they planned to gather at around 6 or 7, during William's class, but because of bad traffic jam in South Jakarta, Willy was really late, so William, Josh, and Ihui and the rest of them needed to wait for almost an hour. I knew the next day, William, Ihui, and Gaby got UAS at school, then Arya had UAS from his College, and Willy needed to go back to Bintaro again. I was so touched, They made time for me, someone who wasn't really useful for them anymore at that time, they could just do nothing or even forget me, but they came, they came when I missed them the most. I felt loved.

They waited for my class to finish, then we hung out together again like how we used to when we were all still together. We shared a lot of stories. I found out that they had changed, especially three musketeers, I didn't see the spoilt group again, in fact when I met them, they were all so mature. Arya was as good as proud gentleman, Calvin did well with his Canon Photo School, and  now he even works as a photographer at some famous Event Organizer, then Willy could even got extra pocket money working at some hotels helping the chef, well, Willy.... I mean who would have guessed he was serious when it came to his passion. How I was so proud of them. They didn't just change physically but they were pesonally changed to. I could tell they'd changed to be better in all aspects, the way the spoke, the way they thought, the way they behaved, I wanted to tell here, but I know they might read this and their heads might fly, so I just wrote a reminder and let me keep some part only for myself.

 

 Those photos above were taken by our Receptionist and Arya (he was the one who prepared the camera), then the last picture was edited by Clavin, I loveee all of the pictures!

The last but not least, they gave me a pretty birthday cake, since it was late, they asked me to bring it home, I shared some to OBs and receptionist in my office, then bring the rest home, I didn't realize until then, that they wrote a message on the cake, a message I almost ignored and destroyed  without knowing, a message I will never forget, a message that made me such a cry baby that night, I love you too kids, I'll always love you no matter what :')

Well, We planned to meet up someday. Although until today, we haven't had the chance, but I hope to meet them again in the future, to share other better stories, to see other amazing transformations of them :)

Seeing Caterpillars Becoming Butterflies (Part 1)

This is a story about a class I've handled the longest so far as my teaching career. Normally at our school, teacher manages a class for 1 term, about 2 months, after that the teacher will be exchanged so students won't get bored and they can experience different exposures and atmosphere. In November 2011, I was given a new class, a class of teenagers, high schoolers. I still remember when I first came, I met three students, a very serious young boy who seemed having no interest in other things except studying, a quiet girl who was well pretty dressed, and another ignorant girl who kept answering my question with "I don't know, I forget" without even looking at me. I was shaken, it was my forth month teaching, and I hadn't thought teenagers that much. So in my first 45 minutes in that class, I hid my nerve and kept talking to myself, "it's okay". I still remember 3 students came late for almost an hour, I had done my presentation when they came. I still remember their face, when they first look at me, they showed that they had no interest in me, one of them even asked, "why are you teaching us? where's ms.x", they nagged asking for their previous teacher. I had a breakdown on my first day with their cruelty, but I decided to stay. The previous teacher kept complaining about that class, especially those three late musketeers, so I thought that I might have to give it a try.

On our early meetings, I did my best to get to know them better. I love talking to my students, from those teenagers, I learned about a lot of new things, I learned how to deal with them better based on their different current situation. Reading books and watching movies showed me that it's such an easy thing to do, in fact, it was pretty hard on me. when I asked them , they responded not the way I expected.

I have a student named willy, 17yo boy. He is one of the three late musketeers. He always sat on the desk right in front of the teacher table, my table, cope his one hand around his face and stared at me with a very sharp eyes that looked like killer's eyes. I was once had a conversation with him.

Me: Willy what things are you interested in, do you like watching movies?

Willy: engga ms.

Me: what about Sport, do you like doing sports?

Willy: engga suka juga ms.

Me: So what thing do you like the most?

Willy: engga ada ms yang I suka, lagian ngapain sih ms nanya-nanya.

He didn't look annoyed, he was saying it with his straight face but it was embarrassing for me.

Two weeks had passed when I realize that they didn't change. Three musketeers kept coming late and even later, they didn't study seriously, I wonder if they even considered me as their teacher that time, they came late because they went to the fitness center before coming to class. They made me speechless. The rest three students didn't interact that much, they minded their own business. I was really worried. I prepared good materials and activities for the class but they just wouldn't work.

We finally had finished our first month together, it was time for mid-test. As expected, three musketeers weren't ready for it. when their friends were doing the tests, I put them in separated class saying that I would give them additional review. Truthfully I did review all the materials, they were following me seriously, even when I gave them writing practices. Looking at their serious faces toward the books, I wondered, why couldn't they be like that everyday. I mumbled, "why are you studying English?", three of them looked at me quietly. "I ask what is your purpose studying English?" I speak louder, still no response. "Is your mom forcing you to come here? or do you just follow each other to play here?". I remember how willy firstly offended, lift his chin up, "I for my study ms, saya juga worry sama English saya, nanti saya mau kuliah di perhotelan, saya mesti belajar ms..." I nodded, then gazed to Calvin, then he mumbled, "saya juga buat improve bahasa inggris saya ms", the last musketeer, Arya supported calvin's answer. I sighed again and looked at their faces one by one, "you know guys, you parents pay me to study with you here, I'm responsible for your English here so I feel useless if you just play around and give no attention toward the lessons, after hearing your reasons, I hope you can come on time next meeting, at least try coming earlier than coming one hour late. we have only 2 hours here, if you miss the first one, what should I do with things you've skipped? can you at least promise me this?". In the end they said "yes". Miraculously, the next meeting three of them came on time, I met them around the stairs, Calvin smiled and said, "ms, kita nepatin janji kita kan, nggak telat kan?". I smiled, it was one of happiest moments in my life. 

Day after days, I could see them change, but not like in a drama where they should change dramatically, no, it started with a tiny improvement, but I was grateful for that. Willy told me about his interest in cookery, Calvin and Arya showed interest in volleyball, William, the serious guy started telling stories about his brother instead of the academic things, Gaby, the quiet girl shared that she wanted to became an actress but her parents didn't allow her to join any auditions, and Ihui, the half Taiwanese girl who first looked very ignorant started bragging about her very lovely dog Bikime. I could feel that we got closer.

One terms finally ended, I thought I hadn't had enough time with them, I'm still unfinished with them so I told the principal to give me another chance there.

In our second term together, we had two new boys, Josiah, a boy with bright smile with his friend, a very tall Brian. Our class became warmer. In our second term, I finally saw William's first smile, it was really bright, I thought I would only see the folds on his forehead. Ihui and Gaby got along well, Gaby gave Ihui a birthday gift, Josian and Brian were very good at studying, three musketeers came earlier, Willy even came before me for several meetings. Just like that we finished our second term. I didn't have any right to beg the principal to stay there again, so I just let it be, although deep in my heart, I still want to be with them. Surprisingly they demanded to be taught by no other teachers but me. I knew I shouldn't. but I can't help to feel happy with their efforts, they threaten to stop studying if the teacher was changed. so there I was in the third term with them.

I think it was around March and April, three musketeers were up to their national exam at school, I was so nervous thinking about them. Too bad, on the second meeting of the third term, I couldn't make it, I collapsed of the typhus symptoms. I even fainted at my dorm that my uncle took me to his house in Bintaro. I skipped teaching for more than two weeks. It was really hard on me. I had no energy, I felt so used, I couldn't swallow anything, I lost my weight and getting so weak for staying on bed for too long. My mum isn't a text person, neither do I. She kept calling me but I was just too weak to tell things to her, speaking was even hard for me. My friends were normally busy so they didn't really have time to text me. Rather than feeling lonely, I felt afraid, I had never been that weak in my whole life. I started browsing through my smart phone about death that caused by my illness. I was afraid to that extent. If I could say who were there supporting me the most, of course my uncle's family, then my mum, then it was them, my students from that class, Gaby kept texting me reminding me to eat healthy food, William kept asking when I came back, Arya kept sending me jokes that never failed to put a smile on my weakling condition, and Calvin never got tired talking with me, he sent silly jokes and upgraded my spirit. I wasn't good at texting, usually, when people talk with me by letters, I kept thinking of the right response as I didn't want to hurt their feeling, I kept blaming my self if my talking partner ended the chat hanging or response me with a very short word. It didn't happen to me and my students, I love how I could be my self to them, I love how they never got annoyed by my late reply, my complaints, my nags, and even my brags.

At that time, even before I fully recovered, I decided to be back teaching. There was a thing I shouldn't be happy about, but it was touchy indeed. Some of them stop coming to class when I was on my leave, they said they  don't want any other teacher. They boycott the class, I felt so loved that time.

When I finally came back to that class, I was so happy to see their faces again. I guessed I would be recovered sooned. Arya even gave me a batik bracelet saying things like "ms harus cepet sembuh, kalo berasa sakit lagi, liat aja gelangnya nanti kan keingetan saya langsung sembuh deh, hahaha". I laughed seeing how confident he was. I still have the memorable bracelet.

Finally, our third term almost came to an end.Three musketeers were focusing on their national exam. We got closer. I kept supporting them, what was so thrilling, I accompanied them staying up late until morning to study, when they got sleepy they would text me, as a bat girl, it was a coincidence, I had friends to stay up late, it was a mutual relationship among us. When it finally passed, we all could breath in relax. But too bad that Willy started getting busy with his preparation to enrolling to tourism education school in Bintaro which is very far from Pluit that made him stop coming to class, it was around May when Gaby was getting busy too with her final exam at school, she stopped finally. Brian also left because his mum said to postpone the course first. We were left with me, William, Josiah, Ihui, Arya, and Calvin. The class got quieter. It was a bit painful when I saw the seat that used to be Willy's, Gaby's, and Brian's, but we got used to it eventually.

Now That class left with only me, Ihui, Josiah, and William. Arya started getting busy with his study in Untar so he left in around October 2012, Calvin who is currently studying in Binus was also busy with his extra activities at campus and his canon photo school so he left in October as well.

New students came to that class, but the feeling is still the same. It was warm and comfortable to teach there, I've taught that class for 1 year and 2 months because they never want another teacher. It was the only class that treat me more like friends, we shared everything, EVERYTHING, I know most of the things about them, their family, their intention, their dream and so on. They know me too, I don't know how far they've known, but they've seen me in my bad mood, in my good mood, and all situation where I complained and whined.

I still keep in touch with the other students through twitter and blackberry messenger. They're more like brothers and sisters to me. Sometimes they could be so whiny and stubborn, but the other time, they would be so mature and so helpful foe me.

One day when I stop teaching, I won't forget that I've ever been so happy with them and I'll keep our tie as long as possible.

Good Things Happen in Every December

It's 2013 already, relief for those who believed in Mayan's doomsday and I wish everyone a happy new year sincerely :)

I'm painting another pattern as a reminder of what have just happened these days. This was too beautiful to be ignored and to be abandoned.

December has always been my month. It's the last month of the year, a month when people usually reflect on what have happened during the year, as for me, I started breathing on the eleventh day of this month around 24 years ago. 

When I left home, I don't get the chance to commemorate my birthday with my family, I've had it with friends around me. Last year was bitter at first, I was going to spend the night waiting for my day thinking, but I ended up being lectured by my close friend's boyfriend instead, being reprimanded, and being criticized about how I should have acted toward his girlfriend which is my close friend. How bittersweet it was in the beginning, it eventually ended with a sparkling birth month when I could spent the end of the month having holiday at home.

I didn't expect much for my latest birthday, I learned a lot. Who knows that Murphy's law really worked. When I didn't hope for anything, I got more that anything I had ever had in my entire birthday.

At the midnight, I got a surprise birthday cake from my dorm friend and her sister. I made a wish right in front of the burning candles. I slept with spreaded birthday wishes around my phone messages, blackberry messenger, facebook, twitter, and even e-mail. In the morning, I got calls from home and my sister.I was so blessed.

At the midday, I went to work normally, got congratulated by the staffs at my office, and got around almost 5 hours until I had my first class that day. At around 2 pm, while I was busy with my lessons plan, I saw some silhouettes behind the glass wall in front of my desk, then two heads popped out from the door whispered, "ms, ms. wida, happy birthday to you!", when I saw that, I stood up and opened my arms widely so those two kids, Nathania and Jocelyn could reach me, I thanked them, then, Nia gave me her cheek, I kissed my student for the first time there, she was too cute to be ignored. Then, they continued whispering, "you know, we said to mr. Ricko we go to the toilet to pee, but we go here, please don't tell, hihihi...". I smiled brightly. I used to teach them but then, following the rule, the teacher was changed every new term.

Not long after they left, I suddenly had a student came to have school lessons (for catching up the lesson they're lacking at school). I had stayed there for around 30 minutes when Nathania and Cleo, another student from her class knocked on my door to say, "ms, we've got surprise for you, please open a yellow folder on your desk, ok! don't forget!". Later I found out that they made birthday cards for me, it was also thanks to their homeroom teacher, mr. ricko who gave them extra time to put their effort on those cards.

At around 3 pm. I sat back at the office to continue my teaching preparation. When I was about to start, I got a call from the receptionist, she told me that I got a package, I just laughed and told them to stop tricking me, I was so sure they tricked me because I didn't buy anything online that time, but they kept ensuring me, and even said that it was delivered from Bandung, I laughed louder and started enjoying the trick, until they said, "ini paketnya dari bramantyo ardi wardhana", what??, since when did they know my friend's name?. Still unsure, instead of walking down the stairs, I asked the office boy to get it for me if it were real. When the delivery arrived in front of my eyes, I was overly surprised and when I saw it real, I was so happy that I could cry, I didn't ever dream of that kind of surprise package would come from anyone, and even from Bamby, who I self-proclaimed as my brother, well, now I even think that he might be my former brother's long legs, hehe. Thankyouu Bambinoo!

When I finally had my first class that day, my students welcomed me with very warm birthday greetings. That class soon ended, but before I dismissed it, a teenage girl stopped me and asked me to wait then rushed to the downstairs. My heart raced thinking about what would happen. She came back fast bringing a well-packaged birthday gift that she had prepared and had entrusted to the receptionist until she gave it. It was a black bag, that class absolutely know how I was a fan of black. I felt blessed even more thinking about the thought she gave while preparing that gift.

I finally finished working with a super happy feeling then reached home to get another surprise from my best friends that came to my room with another cake and present. I slept peacefully by the feeling of being loved that night.

The next day, I got another class which means I was spreaded with a lot of wishes again. I even got another special gift, why was it special? because it won't be given by just any random student. It was a package of black nail polish and nail pack. Long ago, one of my student complimented my pink nail polish, she also said that I would be better trying black polish for my nails. I told her I wanted to, but somehow I don't feel confident and some friends of mine suggested that I wear bright nail polish to be girly. When she gave that gift, she told me to wear it and be confident because she knew how I liked black and also the nail pack is the part of nail care that she hoped I wouldn't mind making my nails brightened as well when I'm without nail polish, how lovely :')

I had my 24th birthday on 11th December, but I will never forget the 12th as well, A day after my birthday, while I was teaching a night class, I got a surprise from my old students who gathered to come for my birthday, it was DAEBAK! I'll definitely tell about them in my next post.

Well, whenever I introduce myself to new students, I'd say that I'm 17, then after they put their suspicious face, I'll add, 17 plus 6, but now, I guess I must be used to telling them that I'm 17 plus 7. 

A new age, and a new year, I'm also thinking of some aims, but I know how God listens to my prayer so let it be. What's so obvious, I think I've changed, of course, everyone changes, if we don't hurt people or getting hurt by people, we wont change, if we don't change, we won't move forward. If I were a machine, I would always be in repaired. Things that happened and people surround me make me who I am, I want to be developed, I want to be better together with them.

Ji-yong and Sungha Jung

It's still 15 minutes to 12 am. I want to tell my blogspot that right now I had terrible crush with these two's music, don't be judgmental, just because you don't like his rings, ear rings, or his blink blink shirt, or even his full make up face, eh, who I am to say that and why would I mind your preferences anyway. This is my personal taste right now, I like the genius guitar monster, Jung Sungha, I still love depapepe, but Jung Sungha is way too brilliant, every song he arranged became better than the original version. The other guy, the singer is Kwon Ji-yong, or G-Dragon or GD from Big Bang, I used to hate that group because I didn't like the way I thought they overdressed and they wore thick make up as guys, but I grew fond of them, especially GD, his music surprisingly caught my hearing. He has created a lot of beautiful Korean songs that made me googled the meaning because they're too beautiful to waste, 'That XX' is definitely a song of the year for me. 

It was a jackpot to have  Jung Sungha as Ji-yong's companion in singing this song live.

And this one is amazing as well. If I could wake up tomorrow with one ability, I wanted to have his guitar talent so I could play guitar beautifully.!

Ah I need to stop or I'll end up sleeping in the morning because I cant stop youtube-ing.

Goodnight world!

Attention Seekers Part 2

Ah, I can't believe that I need very long time to continue my previous story. Well, today, I finally got my official contract for my new status, Junior 2 Teacher, after the class observations, workshop, submitting lesson plans, etc, in the end I did quite well :p

About the messy mushroom class during the observation, I kept thinking about it, after that, I couldn't face my principal directly, I was afraid and had a feeling that she must have thought that I was incapable as a teacher. It affected my mood in the class, after that class, we still had several meetings before the project and progress tests, so every time I saw my students, it's not that I hate them, but as normal human I had a thought like, "ah.. I could have done better if only you had cooperated well that day". I acted normally but inside my heart, I felt worried. The result of the observation was still unknown but I presumed myself. My spirit eventually went down in handling that class. I was nervous of bad result possibility.

One day after that D-day, I came to that class wearing brand new shoes, they're brown almost red, and I could admit that they're my most girly shoes with even ribbons on them. My kids didn't say anything but they looked at mine obviously, their pride was just too high to ask whether I wore new shoes.

During the class activities, a kiddo came to me and asked question, but instead of normally standing in front of me, he stocked his plump body to my legs, since he wasn't doing it for whiny purpose, I let it be. While I was answering his question, he lost his balance and stepped on my shoes, and as soon as that happen, he swapped the ribbon on my right shoes with his big crocs sandals until the ribbon stocked out and fell on the floor, I was shocked, widened my eyes, looked at the crocodile that had eaten my clueless new shoes. I could have been angry, but then I controlled my self, ok I was sure he would apologize, I knew he's not a bad kid.

Surprisingly more shocked than me, the kiddo looked scared and he left me speechless with his excuse. Rather than saying sorry, he said senseless words, "Ms, is this your new shoe? that's whyyy, I actually want to tell you, don't buy ABAL-ABAL shoes, this is cheap but bad, look now it's broken, buy crocs like me, this is good shoes". Normally I would stop him and remind him about Indonesian word he said, "abal-abal", but that time, my head burned, this crocs monster, how could he say such things. I was thinking of a counter attack when he said another defended words, "your shoes are abal-abal ms, my MOM said good shoes are crocs...". After his last excuse, my head cooled down, I really wanted to meet his mum that time. I was angry to him, but I felt that his mum should take the blame for the not-sorry kiddo.  

After that, my spirit suppressed dramatically there. the next meeting, it was around three meetings left before we finished the level. I came to the class promising my self to forget all the traumatic things happened there.

As soon as I got in, several kids were busy writing and drawing, then, a chubby girl came to me and said, "Next level, you're still with us, right?", I just put on a smile. "I like you, This is for you from us, please keep this". I was curious but then sentimentally smiled looking at the note she gave me. Ah how I could ignore those kids. They made mistake by adding 'are' before love, but I didn't mind at all, and what's with 'from the children', so cheesy, hehe.

Well, about the observation result, I was kinda taken aback when the principal said good thing about my teaching procedures, "It must be hard on you, teaching kids, they don't calculate our feelings like adult, they do things recklessly, but I really like the way you coped with them, the way you personally handle them, bear in your mind that you have the patience as the key to teaching kids, keep it up....". I was blanked, the principal said all good things about the way I treated the students, in fact she criticized only the technical thing, "during the pair work, you made a student ask and the pair answer, it was actually good, but it would be much better if they didn't do it only that way, they need to exchange their role to add the exposure to the language....". So the feedback session was almost all about technical thing, mushroom class attitude that time didn't influence any of my credits. And, see now, I've pass another step, now I'm a Junior 2 teacher, the mushroom class is currently being taught by another teacher, let them experience, reflect, and learn. I'm thankful to them for giving me unexpected experience and good time.