Appreciation Post

February 14.

As much as I don't want to make a big deal out of Valentine's day, I can't help but think about last year. Setahun yang lalu, saya masih kerja mostly from home. 

14 Februari seperti hari hari sebelumnya sejak tahun sebelumnya, saya mulai dengan happy menjawab pesan "How are you this morning? did you get enough sleep?", saya masih ingat betul isi pesan ini, karena setiap pagi hampir sama pesannya. I didn't think I would be the kind of person who doesn't cringe because of these kind of messages. 

14 Februari tahun lalu, dia sudah 2 hari berkantor di klien di TB Simatupang, tentunya lembur terus karena ada trouble. Setelah pesan pagi itu saya jawab, seperti biasa pembicaraan kami menuju ke, "what's your plan for today?" untuk saya, dan "will you stay at the client's again today?" untuk dia. setelah beberapa menit bertukar rencana hari itu, entah karena menonton TV atau apa, dia teringat tanggal.

14 Februari, "Hey, it's Valentine's Day! I'm gonna send you your fave chocolates". Seperti saat mengawali tulisan ini, I didn't want to make a big deal out of a day just because it's February 14. "I know you'll refuse, but hey let me please, just don't think of the 14th, take it as a normal day I'm sending you chocolate".

14 Februari, belum sampai satu bulan sebelumnya, saya dikirimin dark chocolate banyak sama dia, dan rasanya belum lama habis, maka saya beralasan, nanti-nanti saja. But him being a smartass, "You had a lot, yes I know, I'm the one who sent them to you, and YOU'LL GET MORE today, take them as your whole next month ammunition's".  Okay, I'm about to lose, "You're making me a chocolate monster", dan jawaban selanjutnya, "Chocolate monster is cute, cookie monster is not", err.. tell me again how did I survive these kind of cheesy remarks? :))

14 Februari, abang grab express datang dari ujung selatan Jakarta ke rumah di ujung Jakarta Timur, bawa satu kresek coklat. Jauh? jelas, tapi nggak sejauh dia biasa ngirimin coklat dan buah, dari Utara! Nggak lama dia langsung kirim pesan minta maaf karena coklat yang dikirim hampir semuanya manis (I didn't really eat sweets at that time). Jadi ternyata di client site dia pikir ada supermarket gede buat beli coklat, turned out that there was only one small mart and what do you expect, dia nggak ketemu dark chocolate, adanya coklat-coklat yang manis. But he did his best, mixing those sweet chocolate with some rather plain chocolate brownie and baked cookies yang entah ketemu di mana.

14 Februari tahun lalu, seperti hari-hari sebelumnya dan hingga 6 bulan setelahnya, merasa appreciated. And I'm grateful that the effect of being loved once really lasts for a long time. We were both so into each other, well I admit it now, I committed to something I didn't think I would have ever believed in. I think he was the right person and we just clicked, but the distance between us (he said, it's only between me and him, not between him and me) is too faraway, crossing the most principle matter that has been with me since I was born. Dia bilang agama itu seperti underwear, you wear yours I wear mine, tapi gimana pun saya nggak pernah bisa berpikir begitu, now that sounds like an insult to me.

14 Februari tahun lalu, for once I felt like everything was alright except for the one person I was with. We were not made for each other's company, but lesson only. I got to know the side of me I didn't think I had. I depended on him a lot, something I thought I would never have done to anyone ever again. Thank you.

Hari ini, 14 Februari, bukan belum move on. Take this as an appreciation post. I want to reserve a tiny space in my heart to remember him as a very trusted, attentive, and understanding man, and one of the best person to ever came to me, to have restored my faith in people.

Please live well and happily as you always do.

ps: I'm seriously going to write about this person and other stuffs soon, I don't want to forget things before I even write them here :(